topic Separate checks ?? in Community Chat

Separate checks ??

Kitty Galore — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:32:12 GMT

I have a very good friend, we've been friends for all of our lives since we were young. We went out to dinner with our husbands her husband immediately as soon as the waiter greeted us asked for separate checks . My friend didn't seem to think anything of it . My husband and I were very surprised, my husband found it insulting . I've never been out with couples where that was asked , we always just split the bill however many of us couples there are , friends or family. Now when her and I go out to lunch just us we split our bill at her suggestion . Maybe many people do this I've just never come across it til now . 🤔

Re: Separate checks ??

Jacie — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:37:31 GMT

I wouldn't think anything about it whatsoever. No big thing.

Re: Separate checks ??

OKPrincess — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:36:26 GMT

DH and I ask for separate checks up front unless we are paying for everything. Then he tells the waitress or waiter to put it all on one check.

I don't find it insulting at all.

Re: Separate checks ??

4kitties — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:37:38 GMT

We always ask for separate checks when we go to lunch or dinner with friends or family. I have never felt insulted at all.

I do not drink and if my friends do, we tell the wait staff up front so as not to have any confusion.

I would find it too confusing to try to search over the check figuring out who had what and how much they owe. And some may want to pay with a credit card and some may pay with cash.

Re: Separate checks ??

Mom2Dogs — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:43:00 GMT

DH and I always get separate checks, unless we are treating.

I have friends (women) that when we have lunch or dinner out two of the women drink...I have no intention paying for anyone's alcohol. One glass on the bill is not a big deal but multiple glasses is where I draw the line.

No one thinks anything of asking for separate checks.

Re: Separate checks ??

teganslaw — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:43:20 GMT

I don't see the problem. Unless someone offers to pay the bill, it's less confusing to have separate checks rather than dividing it up. The way everyone is even and pays for they ordered. I don't why it would be insulting.

Re: Separate checks ??

Cookie2025 — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:44:07 GMT

@4kitties wrote:
We always ask for separate checks when we go to lunch or dinner with friends or family. I have never felt insulted at all.

I do not drink and if my friends do, we tell the wait staff up front so as not to have any confusion.

I would find it too confusing to try to search over the check figuring out who had what and how much they owe. And some may want to pay with a credit card and some may pay with cash.

I always pay my portion with cash UNLESS I am picking up the bill for everyone. Since old age has set upon me self I always have a glass of water with my meal and occasionally a drink, but that is a rarity.

Re: Separate checks ??

Effie54 — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:44:53 GMT

While it's nice to have separate checks.....we never ask for that. It appears cheap. Unless the wait staff automatically give separate checks, we just split the bill.

Re: Separate checks ??

Etoile308 — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:46:12 GMT

@Kitty Galore, I wouldn't feel insulted. Perhaps he should have mentioned to you first instead of the waitstaff but I wouldn't think anything of it. It may be a reflexive reaction because of previous dinners with others who fail to pay their fair amount.

Re: Separate checks ??

Winkk — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:46:13 GMT

I don't see a problem with it, I do it frequently. I don't want to pay for someone who has steak and drinks and I have a salad and water. Eating out is pricey.

Re: Separate checks ??

50Mickey — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:47:59 GMT

@Kitty Galore It's always best to let the wait staff know up front before the bill is presented that separate checks are requested. Some people order cocktails and wine and some don't. Some may want a steak and dessert and others may want just a salad or chicken. I would not expect my non- imbibing dinner partners to have to split the cost of my adult beverage and I would not want to split the cost of an expensive dessert or appetizer if I didn't share it.

Re: Separate checks ??

gidgetgh — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:48:58 GMT

I would always ask for separate checks. if I am eating a grilled cheese sandwich with a Coke Zero and the other person is having steak and a glass of wine, I'm not interested in paying half. And vice versa.

Re: Separate checks ??

LdyBugz — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:52:22 GMT

I don't find it insulting and I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe her hubs has been burned too many times by splitting the check with other people. It's happened to me when I've been out with friends where we agree to split the check up front, but there are a couple people that always take advantage of it. They order an appetizer, salad, entree, dessert, and multiple drinks, and others (like me) only have a salad &/or entree and one drink. Sometimes separate checks are best so there aren't any social issues to deal with.

Re: Separate checks ??

beckyb1012 — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:54:23 GMT

Unless it was a special occasion for one couple or the other we always did this back in the '80's and '90's when I was married. It was the first thing said and sometimes before we all were seated. If it was a one tab night then all knew up front because of the celebration had been planned ahead for whatever reason.

Re: Separate checks ??

Kitty Galore — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:56:05 GMT

@Effie54 wrote:
While it's nice to have separate checks.....we never ask for that. It appears cheap. Unless the wait staff automatically give separate checks, we just split the bill.

@Effie54 Actually that is how we both feel , it appears cheap also it appears as if we aren't very good friends . The 3 of us don't drink only him, so it isn't that. Maybe it's just we don't care what others are ordering we enjoy dinning out with friends and family we split the check with everyone else we dine with even amounts to each couple . We do not go over the bill and itemize what a each person ate, that's crazy !

Re: Separate checks ??

kaydee50 — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:57:12 GMT

It depends. With one friend we just give the waiter our credit cards and let him/her split the bill.

With people I'm not that friendly with I ask for separate checks. The first time I did this with this particular group of friends, they kind of looked at me. But it's much simpler to get separate checks. I don't think it's "cheap"--I think it's practical.

Re: Separate checks ??

beckyb1012 — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:59:55 GMT

@Kitty Galore wrote:
@Effie54 wrote:
While it's nice to have separate checks.....we never ask for that. It appears cheap. Unless the wait staff automatically give separate checks, we just split the bill.
@Effie54 Actually that is how we both feel , it appears cheap also it appears as if we aren't very good friends . The 3 of us don't drink only him, so it isn't that. Maybe it's just we don't care what others are ordering we enjoy dinning out with friends and family we split the check with everyone else we dine with even amounts to each couple . We do not go over the bill and itemize what a each person ate, that's crazy !

That is the beauty of separate checks then you do not have to do that. It may sound cheap to some but if you eat with your couple friends a great deal, which we did it is worth paying your own way.

Re: Separate checks ??

deepwaterdotter — Tue, 30 May 2023 19:59:30 GMT

It is a common request among our circle of dinner companions. We make the request before the person waiting on us begins taking our orders.

Re: Separate checks ??

Kitty Galore — Tue, 30 May 2023 20:01:11 GMT

@LdyBugz wrote:
I don't find it insulting and I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe her hubs has been burned too many times by splitting the check with other people. It's happened to me when I've been out with friends where we agree to split the check up front, but there are a couple people that always take advantage of it. They order an appetizer, salad, entree, dessert, and multiple drinks, and others (like me) only have a salad &/or entree and one drink. Sometimes separate checks are best so there aren't any social issues to deal with.

@LdyBugz @That is a possibility. The other thing is we always feel uncomfortable ordering an appetizer for ourselves , they don't , and it makes us feel uncomfortable eating in front of them , I was brought up never to eat in front of someone without asking if they would like to have some .

Re: Separate checks ??

ROMARY — Tue, 30 May 2023 20:02:12 GMT

In general:

It could be that a person asking for separate checks might plan to order significantly more expensive dishes, along with expensive drinks, etc.

Some items could 'add up', and he/they didn't want the other couple(s) to have to pay for the higher bill/check.

I think it's a good idea.

Also, separate checks might prompt the other couple to go ahead and order more expensive items without feeling 'guilty', so to speak.

Either way, I like the idea.

Guilt free ordering, no matter what is ordered.