topic Re: Weddings in 2023 in Community Chat

Weddings in 2023

Trailrun23 — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 00:22:07 GMT

I have not been part of planning a wedding since 8 years ago when my youngest married. Have now been hearing from my niece who is getting married in September....things certainly seem to have changed!

I learned that batchelorette parties are now trips, not parties. They are going to NYC to shop and stay at a fancy hotel. 8 bridesmaids is the minimum or it is tacky. She is having "only" 8. Professional makeup and hair is a requirement for all bridesmaids, not just the bride, and the bridesmaid dresses must be very neutral in color, like beige or grey so it doesn't compete with the wedding gown, which must be white or blush. Oh, and I am supposed to wear pale blue, my absolute worst color...because that's what aunts wear at weddings. She is 35. I don't know if I am worried or just amazed. Who wrote the rules that everyone is supposed to follow? I haven't talked to my sister yet....that should be a hoot. She is the ultimate control freak, so this isn't going to go well.

Sigh.....

Re: Weddings in 2023

NEvans2 — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 00:33:46 GMT

@Trailrun23 Actually, that's not the way weddings are in 2023. Sounds like you have a real Bridezilla on your hands. There is no specific color palette for aunts or anyone else. Good Luck, it sounds like you're going to need it! LOL

Re: Weddings in 2023

gidgetgh — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 00:34:47 GMT

I am opposite of what many people think weddings should be.

I absolutely am a spender....on many things that other people probably wouldn't spend money on, but fancy restaurants, $200 bottles of wine and weddings are just a few of the things that I just won't drop that much money on.

I was 35 when I got married. $1,400 total and that included the cost of my dress. My sister was my matron of honor. No bridesmaids. And, at the end of the day, I was just as married as someone who might have opted for all the hoopla and expense. My wedding dress, which was a short dress, came from Talbots.

I find all that over the top stuff just so ridiculous. But I realize that others don't think like me.

Re: Weddings in 2023

Snowpuppy — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 00:38:43 GMT

It's the bride's day, let her have it how she wants it.

It's only a dress for a few hours and you can donate it to Goodwill when it's over.

Re: Weddings in 2023

sugar plum — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 00:39:50 GMT

I feel badly for whoever is footing the bill. 🙄

Re: Weddings in 2023

pupwhipped — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 00:43:23 GMT

At the age of 35 I would hope this "lovely" sounding bride is footing the bill.

Re: Weddings in 2023

qbetzforreal — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 00:44:39 GMT

Those aren't everyone's rules just the neice's rules.

Re: Weddings in 2023

Goldengate8361 — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 01:11:37 GMT

Rules are made to be broken. I would completely 100% do exactly what I wanted to do and would pay NO attention to others so called rules for you. Besides, the bride and groom will divorce in a couple of years anyway.

Re: Weddings in 2023

Janey2 — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 01:25:57 GMT

Telling an aunt what color to wear? Never heard of that rule. I would be curious to know why. Although I once got invited to a wedding and asked to wear white. The couple wanted a completely white wedding. I did not attend because it was out of state and could not take that amount of time off so I do not know if they pulled it off. I helped make three weddings and was told to wear whatever I wanted.

Re: Weddings in 2023

Love my grandkids — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 01:34:20 GMT

@Trailrun23 Being that I am sometimes a rebel at heart, and that the 35 year old bridezilla would not be telling me what color to wear, I'd show up in a color that looks good on me and see what happens.

I doubt I'd be thrown out of the wedding.

I often read and see stories about over the top weddings like this and wonder how long the marriages last.

Re: Weddings in 2023

ECBG — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 01:35:57 GMT

Very sorry for your headache! Apparently, she wanted everyone to be coordinated for the photos or she is a control freak.

Go and have a good time!

Re: Weddings in 2023

Sooner — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 01:51:51 GMT

@Love my grandkids wrote:
@Trailrun23 Being that I am sometimes a rebel at heart, and that the 35 year old bridezilla would not be telling me what color to wear, I'd show up in a color that looks good on me and see what happens.

I doubt I'd be thrown out of the wedding.

I often read and see stories about over the top weddings like this and wonder how long the marriages last.

@Love my grandkids Good grief I sure wouldn't do what you would do. Mostly because me being me, I'd stay home and avoid the whole extravaganza. Happily at home.

I think when people are the audience, you don't have any right to tell them what to wear. But I guess some people find it exciting and a statement to all.

Re: Weddings in 2023

qbetzforreal — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 02:01:04 GMT

A while back there was a similar thread like this one.

Seeing that more women are waiting later in life to marry, many have careers and can afford to have the wedding of their dreams.

And I say good for them. When my sister was getting married, her bridal shower consisted of a night on the town in NYC. Everyone had a blast.

Each bride is different.

Re: Weddings in 2023

bikerbabe — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 02:05:34 GMT

I was involved with two work-friend weddings in the past 4 years. One was 20-something and the other was 30-something and what you’ve described did not apply to either wedding.

These are her rules based on a social media-driven expectation on her part. So no, it’s not the “rules” because there are no rules.

Re: Weddings in 2023

haddon9 — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 02:34:30 GMT

My daughter got married last May. Because we still had some Covid concerns she opted for an outdoor wedding. It was at a beautiful wildflower preserve in New Hope, PA.

I worried so much weeks and days before the wedding about the weather even though we had a big tent and pavilion. Early in the month (Mother's Day weekend) the weather was horrid! There was heavy wind, torrential rain and the temps never reach 50! I drove past the venue that day to see how things were since there was a wedding going on then...UGH! I felt so badly for that couple.

We were soooo lucky to have picture perfect weather!...no rain, wind or humidity and the temps ranged between 77 to 82.

I'm setting the picture for her wedding. There were some misses but overall things worked out very well. It was wonderful to see so many friends and family having a good time but most importantly and the happy couple had a blissful wedding!

Who cares about silly rules? My daughter at the age of 36 decided to do her own thing and not have any attendants. She did have a wedding planner who did a lot of the footwork. She got together with friends to have a girls' weekend rather than a "bachelorette" party. She also opted to not have a shower but got just about everything that she had listed on her registry.

Many brides today want to have a wedding in the heart of the city in a fancy ballroom. My daughter wanted a Boho wildflower theme. It was still a ton of work and really wasn't simple since everything had to be brought in....yet it was really unique to her and her husband.

Everyone is different with their wedding choices but the most important thing is they are very happy together and are now parents of a newborn baby boy!

ETA: I think telling your what color to wear is ridiculous! You are not a bridesmaid. I'm assuming that she wants group family photos and everyone should coordinate. I would choose a color that works for you. How about a navy?

Re: Weddings in 2023

qvcfreak — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 02:40:14 GMT

I guess she has a picture of what she wants. I hope she has a beautiful wedding. And yikes, 8 bridesmaids, that's a lot.

Re: Weddings in 2023

on the bay — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 02:43:45 GMT

My daughter told me for her wedding she wanted me to wear what I would feel beautiful in.💗

Re: Weddings in 2023

Love my grandkids — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 02:47:25 GMT

@Sooner As I said that's just the wannabe rebel. I likely would stay home as well and avoid the whole circus!

Re: Weddings in 2023

Puppy Lips — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 03:22:29 GMT

Agree with the Bridezilla label. There is no way I would wear a color that does not look good on me. Light blue would be one of those colors. Is she telling all the guests what color to wear? Wear what you want as the Aunt and have a good time.

Re: Weddings in 2023

jubilant — Fri, 07 Apr 2023 11:35:32 GMT

I'm a believer in having what your family (or you) can afford without going into debt.