topic Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores in Community Chat

Paying for Unnecessary Chores

Biftu — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:12:42 GMT

My neighbor's son (he's in his 40s) knocked on my door to tell me he has cleaned up both our front lawns from pinecone like things that fall from his tree but branches hang over my property. I thanked him and an hour later he said his trash barrel was filled and can he use mine. Sure I said. He came back again and told me his father used to pay him 10 cents for every pincone he picked. I laughed and said he had a good thing going. Back again to tell me my trash bin was heavy and to call him on trash day and he will move it to the front for me. I felt like he wanted me to pay him. These pinecones don't bother me in the winter and I did not ask him to do this, although I appreciate he did it.

He has done small outdoor chores for me in the past which I asked for his help and I paid him. He took on this task on his own. Being retired I try to only pay for projects I can't do on myself. Would you have paid him?

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

qvcaddition — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:31:19 GMT

@Biftu

@Biftu wrote:
My neighbor's son (he's in his 40s) knocked on my door to tell me he has cleaned up both our front lawns from pinecone like things that fall from his tree but branches hang over my property. I thanked him and an hour later he said his trash barrel was filled and can he use mine. Sure I said. He came back again and told me his father used to pay him 10 cents for every pincone he picked. I laughed and said he had a good thing going. Back again to tell me my trash bin was heavy and to call him on trash day and he will move it to the front for me. I felt like he wanted me to pay him. These pinecones don't bother me in the winter and I did not ask him to do this, although I appreciate he did it.

He has done small outdoor chores for me in the past which I asked for his help and I paid him. He took on this task on his own. Being retired I try to only pay for projects I can't do on myself. Would you have paid him?

Orginally, I would say no, but in thinking about it, I would offer 5.00 and say, I appreciate it and just want to show it, but In the future, I can't afford it. If I have a bigger job, then I will let you know, but I have to put it in my budget when I can afford it. Thank you for thinking of me. Showing good faith and keeping the friendship.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

jackthebear — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:30:56 GMT

@Biftu wrote:
My neighbor's son (he's in his 40s) knocked on my door to tell me he has cleaned up both our front lawns from pinecone like things that fall from his tree but branches hang over my property. I thanked him and an hour later he said his trash barrel was filled and can he use mine. Sure I said. He came back again and told me his father used to pay him 10 cents for every pincone he picked. I laughed and said he had a good thing going. Back again to tell me my trash bin was heavy and to call him on trash day and he will move it to the front for me. I felt like he wanted me to pay him. These pinecones don't bother me in the winter and I did not ask him to do this, although I appreciate he did it.

He has done small outdoor chores for me in the past which I asked for his help and I paid him. He took on this task on his own. Being retired I try to only pay for projects I can't do on myself. Would you have paid him?

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

gidgetgh — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:32:49 GMT

Yeah. I would have given him something, $20 maybe. Again, my theory is you can never go wrong being kind, even if you didn't ask for his help. But then I would tell him that that going forward, I would let him know if I needed any help.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

qvcaddition — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:33:05 GMT

There you go, but being a senior myself, I know we are on tight budgets, so for me 20.00 for something I didn't ask for would be a lot on my budget.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

fthunt — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:33:44 GMT

Lucky to have him around......$20

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

Kachina624 — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:37:11 GMT

@gidgetgh wrote:
Yeah. I would have given him something, $20 maybe. Again, my theory is you can never go wrong being kind, even if you didn't ask for his help. But then I would tell him that that going forward, I would let him know if I needed any help.

@gidgetgh I agree but $20 is excessive for a job a five year old could do.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

gidgetgh — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:41:39 GMT

@Kachina624 wrote:

@gidgetgh wrote:
Yeah. I would have given him something, $20 maybe. Again, my theory is you can never go wrong being kind, even if you didn't ask for his help. But then I would tell him that that going forward, I would let him know if I needed any help.
@gidgetgh I agree but $20 is excessive for a job a five year old could do.

@Kachina624 ya know? I didn't do a deep dive into thinking this out. Maybe he is desperate for money. Who knows his circumstances. We didn't learn any of that from from @Biftu post. I mean, if it took him 10 minutes, maybe I would have given $10 but I don't have all the info.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

Kachina624 — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:42:18 GMT

@fthunt wrote:
Lucky to have him around......$20

@fthunt Lucky? I think its kind of creepy and wouldn't want anyone in my yard picking things up without permission. Maybe I've seen too many Fear Thy Neighbor episodes but I'm independent and don't want unsolicited help.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

santorini — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:43:37 GMT

I think I would have said "that was so nice of you but that's certainly not necessary. I would never ask you to do that. Please don't feel like you need to do anything more. I'm just fine."

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

hckynutjohn — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:48:22 GMT

"Would you have paid him"?

@Biftu

No!

hckynut 🇺🇸

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

LdyBugz — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 21:59:23 GMT

@Biftu

I agree with @qvcaddition. This approach would let the neighbor know that you do appreciate his efforts but can only hire him when your budget allows. Otherwise, he might start doing other unsolicited chores and expect payment. It's in everyone's best interest to set boundaries and expectations now to avoid awkward situations going forward.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

LizzieInSRQ — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 22:04:46 GMT

@qvcaddition from my perspective, you didnt ask him to do any of this. Id leave at a thank you. No way would i pay a grown man to do something he already did without asking.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

Zhills — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 22:08:30 GMT

If it was something that really benefitted me, yes, I would pay him. It would be him or someone else.

If not to your benefit....no!

He should have asked about the job first!

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

kaydee50 — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 22:08:25 GMT

No, I would not have paid him. He's in his 40s??? Maybe once a year give him a gift card but a sincere "thank you, it wasn't necessary for you to do that" would be my response.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

jackthebear — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 22:09:08 GMT

@LizzieInSRQ wrote:
@qvcaddition from my perspective, you didnt ask him to do any of this. Id leave at a thank you. No way would i pay a grown man to do something he already did without asking.

kind of a slippery slope if you ask me

you didn't ask and he assumed

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

LizzieInSRQ — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 22:13:14 GMT

If he is desparate for money, he still has no business doing something without a discussion/permission/agreement.

This is not much better than the people in the big city who run up to your car, clean your windsheild and demand to be paid.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

Biftu — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 22:10:59 GMT

@qvcaddition wrote:
@Biftu
@Biftu wrote:
My neighbor's son (he's in his 40s) knocked on my door to tell me he has cleaned up both our front lawns from pinecone like things that fall from his tree but branches hang over my property. I thanked him and an hour later he said his trash barrel was filled and can he use mine. Sure I said. He came back again and told me his father used to pay him 10 cents for every pincone he picked. I laughed and said he had a good thing going. Back again to tell me my trash bin was heavy and to call him on trash day and he will move it to the front for me. I felt like he wanted me to pay him. These pinecones don't bother me in the winter and I did not ask him to do this, although I appreciate he did it.

He has done small outdoor chores for me in the past which I asked for his help and I paid him. He took on this task on his own. Being retired I try to only pay for projects I can't do on myself. Would you have paid him?

Orginally, I would say no, but in thinking about it, I would offer 5.00 and say, I appreciate it and just want to show it, but In the future, I can't afford it. If I have a bigger job, then I will let you know, but I have to put it in my budget when I can afford it. Thank you for thinking of me. Showing good faith and keeping the friendship.

I understand, but giving a grown man $5 doesn't cut it.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

elated — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 22:16:15 GMT

He is a 40 year old man picking up pine cones in your yard. He said his dad pays him $.10 for each pine cone..He sounds very strange and I would want to keep my distance. I would have thanked him and told him to please refrain in the future. If I need help, I will ask a family member.

Re: Paying for Unnecessary Chores

mspatmac — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 22:17:50 GMT

@qvcaddition wrote:
@Biftu
@Biftu wrote:
My neighbor's son (he's in his 40s) knocked on my door to tell me he has cleaned up both our front lawns from pinecone like things that fall from his tree but branches hang over my property. I thanked him and an hour later he said his trash barrel was filled and can he use mine. Sure I said. He came back again and told me his father used to pay him 10 cents for every pincone he picked. I laughed and said he had a good thing going. Back again to tell me my trash bin was heavy and to call him on trash day and he will move it to the front for me. I felt like he wanted me to pay him. These pinecones don't bother me in the winter and I did not ask him to do this, although I appreciate he did it.

He has done small outdoor chores for me in the past which I asked for his help and I paid him. He took on this task on his own. Being retired I try to only pay for projects I can't do on myself. Would you have paid him?

Orginally, I would say no, but in thinking about it, I would offer 5.00 and say, I appreciate it and just want to show it, but In the future, I can't afford it. If I have a bigger job, then I will let you know, but I have to put it in my budget when I can afford it. Thank you for thinking of me. Showing good faith and keeping the friendship.

@qvcaddition

@Biftu

Not knowing the son's circumstance I agree with @qvcaddition $5 seems reasonable and kind. and explaining you only want his help when you ask is important. Wish I had someone that I could ask to do small jobs when needed.