topic Re: Gift Not Well Received in Community Chat

Gift Not Well Received

ScrapHappy — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 14:51:25 GMT

Bought my MIL a food gift. Steaks, burgers, chicken, hot dogs, potatoes and a dessert. I have gotten this in the past from someone else, I liked it and appreciated it. Shortly after my MIL received it, my husband got a call from my BIL asking why he sent that. The following day, my MIL said she doesn't have enough room in freezxer and she will have to give some of it away. It's clear to me that she called my BIL and complained about it and doesn't like it. I thought it's a nice gift and would make it easier for her to plan meals and since she doesn't get around easily, one less trip to the grocery store. I don't know why this is bothering me so much. My husband doesn't some bothered.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

Group 5 minus 1 — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 14:54:29 GMT

I am a vegan. i would not want a gift like this. In these timesi it is difficult to find the correct gift. I am sorry for your hurt and angry feelings.

Just because you liked it doesn't mean someone else would.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

ruthbe — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 14:57:13 GMT

Is she the type that complains?? My mother would complain about everything...even about things I thought she would love...even things she had mentioned she would like and forgot she had mentioned she would like and then didn't like. I just couldn't win.

My brother could do no wrong.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

gidgetgh — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:24:59 GMT

@ScrapHappyI'm sorry she didn't like her gift. I know from experience some gifts I've given over my life have been terrific, others I thought were terrific weren't met with huge enthusiasm and I've given some where I think back on it later and I'm like "what was I thinking"?

Here is my take on it, on any gift really. You give the gift with a joyful heart and good intentions and what happens after that is out of your control.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

Desert Lily — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 14:59:14 GMT

I was taught to know how to give and know how to receive. I was taught to be thankful that someone was thoughtful enough to think of me and not hurt the giver's feelings if I wasn't fond of the gift itself. I guess it was called being gracious.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

shoptilyadropagain — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 14:59:22 GMT

That's a very nice and thoughtful gift. I would love receiving something like that. I'm sure you know if your MIL is vegan and would not gift her that if she was.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

wagirl — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:25:30 GMT

Oh dear!!Your gift is a very nice gift--have gotten that before and thoroughly enjoyed it. But now my circumstances have changed drastically and I no longer have a separate freezer or a even a good sized freezer in my refer so don't have much space to store all that meat. Last year I asked my siblings to please not send me the meat pak or the many paks of Wolfermans english muffins because I don't have the room to freeze them. So I can identify with your MIL---I think I might go get the meat from her and replace it with a gift card to her fave grocery store---would have been nice if she would have said something about this before tho---but don't be mad or hurt--now you know!!

Re: Gift Not Well Received

Imaoldhippie — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 14:59:55 GMT

@ScrapHappy................IMO it was a nice and thoughful gift. I think it was very tacky and inconsiderate for your MIL to call her son and complain about it. If it were me that would be the last present she ever got from me and I definitely would confront her about it.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

Janey2 — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:00:55 GMT

First of all your bil should not have gotten involved. Next time get your mil a gift card and let her get her own gift. She does not sound like a person who appreciates thoughtful gifts. Some people complain about everything.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

scatcat — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:01:15 GMT

@ruthbewrote:
Is she the type that complains?? My mother would complain about everything...even about things I thought she would love...even things she had mentioned she would like and forgot she had mentioned she would like and then didn't like. I just couldn't win.
My brother could do no wrong.

I was going to say the same thing and @ruthbe beat me to it. My MIL complains about everything. There's no making her happy. We've learned to just stop giving

Re: Gift Not Well Received

geezerette — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:01:17 GMT

@ScrapHappy

Since she said she doesn't have enough room for it all and will need to give some away, did you offer to take the excess and keep it for her?

Or just keep it. For yourself.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

millieshops — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:03:37 GMT

@ScrapHappyWhat's the chance she actually has little space right now in her freezer? Right now I could store only a couple of burgers - the rest I'd have to offer to the neighbors -- if I could find someone who still eats meat in any quantity.

BTW - she could have done just that and just said thank you for thinking of me. Do you have some experiences with her that would lead her to avoid telling you? I am not in favor of involving a third person.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

Sooner — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:04:00 GMT

@ScrapHappywrote:
Bought my MIL a food gift. Steaks, burgers, chicken, hot dogs, potatoes and a dessert. I have gotten this in the past from someone else, I liked it and appreciated it. Shortly after my MIL received it, my husband got a call from my BIL asking why he sent that. The following day, my MIL said she doesn't have enough room in freezxer and she will have to give some of it away. It's clear to me that she called my BIL and complained about it and doesn't like it. I thought it's a nice gift and would make it easier for her to plan meals and since she doesn't get around easily, one less trip to the grocery store. I don't know why this is bothering me so much. My husband doesn't some bothered.

@ScrapHappyIfeel for you. I hate when it happens.

I would be thrilled with the meat.

<p>

My advice (learned the hard way 40 years ago)? Just ask people what they would like. Don't buy people things you don't know for sure they want. Maybe she really didn't have room????

<p>

If you can't be sure, don't buy anything they have to display or store. If someone does not want something, they won't like it.

<p>I would hate: a plant, a throw, a mug, a frame, a candle, bath or lotion stuff, and most things others would like. Goes to show you never know. I think an ornament is the worst. You get it, see it a week or so and have to store it...

Re: Gift Not Well Received

AuntG — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:05:05 GMT

If MIL eats meat, then I think you selected a very nice gift. The only problem I'd have in gettjng somehing like that, is limited freezer space. Maybe she wanted your BIL to store some of the gift box at his place, prompting him to question why you gave her a meat package.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

RollTide2008 — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:05:21 GMT

If a box of meat showed up on my doorstep unexpected, it would stress me too. My freezer is full.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

Chopsmom — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:08:21 GMT

@Imaoldhippiewrote:
@ScrapHappy................IMO it was a nice and thoughful gift. I think it was very tacky and inconsiderate for your MIL to call her son and complain about it. If it were me that would be the last present she ever got from me and I definitely would confront her about it.

Exactly right!

Re: Gift Not Well Received

ScrapHappy — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:08:29 GMT

@geezerettewrote:
@ScrapHappy
-
Since she said she doesn't have enough room for it all and will need to give some away, did you offer to take the excess and keep it for her?
-
Or just keep it. For yourself.

We live far away. I think she'll give it to neighbors or maybe even some to my BIL.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

hopi — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:10:42 GMT

Firm believer of trying to be grateful for any gift but now it concerns me that gift giver is their wasting money. Sounds like the bottom line of your situation was the gift was overwhelming for her and she cannot store it.

Maybe your hubby can recover what can't be saved by her.

At least they were honest but afraid to say it to you but don't want you to be that generous again.

Re: Gift Not Well Received

GloriBee — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:11:03 GMT

@ScrapHappywrote:
Bought my MIL a food gift. Steaks, burgers, chicken, hot dogs, potatoes and a dessert. I have gotten this in the past from someone else, I liked it and appreciated it. Shortly after my MIL received it, my husband got a call from my BIL asking why he sent that. The following day, my MIL said she doesn't have enough room in freezxer and she will have to give some of it away. It's clear to me that she called my BIL and complained about it and doesn't like it. I thought it's a nice gift and would make it easier for her to plan meals and since she doesn't get around easily, one less trip to the grocery store. I don't know why this is bothering me so much. My husband doesn't some bothered.

@ScrapHappyI feel for you! I think it was a very thoughtful gift! We have received gifts twice, I think it was from Kansas City Steaks, and we appreciated it so much. Everything was packaged so well that it really did not take up a huge amount of freezer space.

It is unfortunate that it was not appreciated, not only for the thought, but for the fact that these are not inexpensive meals. Since you had it sent, I will assume your MIL does not live near you? If she does, I would tell her "I'd be happy to take some of it off your hands." ...or " to come over for dinner."

BTW, making a generalization, spouses are often not bothered by this sort of behavior because they grew up with their parents. They know what they are like. Been there!

P.S. I see they are still removing paragraphs! I hoped they had fixed it over the weekend. Guessing the boards are defiinitely not a priority in this busy shopping season!

Re: Gift Not Well Received

Isobel Archer — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 15:11:08 GMT

@Group 5 minus 1wrote:
I am a vegan. i would not want a gift like this. In these timesi it is difficult to find the correct gift. I am sorry for your hurt and angry feelings.
Just because you liked it doesn't mean someone else would.

Oh please. I sincerely doubt she would have sent this if her MIL were Vegan.