topic Re: Declining Invitations in Community Chat

Declining Invitations

justashopper — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:10:08 GMT

I am looking for some opinions. Do you think it's wrong to decline an invitation to lunch, if you just don't really enjoy the company? It's not that I don't like the person (a neighbor) and I do like being friendly... but I'd rather not socialize like that.

Do you accept all invitations? Just because they asked? What if it's not how you want to spend your day off?

I am trying to decide if I am a terrible person.. LOL. thanks.

Re: Declining Invitations

Imaoldhippie — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:15:32 GMT

I probably would have when I was younger.

But since I am older if I dont want to go for whatever reason I just decline. I usually dont give a reason, I dont think we have to justify our decision.

In your case you can most certainly use your day off as an excuse. You just have too many things to accomplish in 1 day, but thank you for thinking of me.

When I worked I was very selfish with my days off, especially when my kids were young.

Re: Declining Invitations

Regal Bee — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:16:30 GMT

@justashopper wrote:
Hi
I am looking for some opinions. Do you think it's wrong to decline an invitation to lunch, if you just don't really enjoy the company? It's not that I don't like the person (a neighbor) and I do like being friendly... but I'd rather not socialize like that.

Do you accept all invitations? Just because they asked? What if it's not how you want to spend your day off?

I am trying to decide if I am a terrible person.. LOL. thanks.

@justashopper No, you are not a terrible person.

If you accept all invitations, when you don't want to in the first place, you will soon find yourself worn out and resentful. Just give a polite no. It is okay.

Re: Declining Invitations

justashopper — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:18:34 GMT

@Regal Bee

Hi and thank you.

Re: Declining Invitations

justashopper — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:20:18 GMT

Hi @Imaoldhippie

Thanks. You're right.

Re: Declining Invitations

mspatmac — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:22:02 GMT

hi @justashopper

No you're not a terrible person. I would decline and say it's my day off and I have so much to catch up on so it doesn't work for me.

Re: Declining Invitations

justashopper — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:23:40 GMT

Hi @mspatmac

Thank you!

Re: Declining Invitations

kaydee50 — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:27:08 GMT

@justashopper You are NOT a terrible person. Your time and feelings are at least as important, if not more so, than anyone else's. Make a polite excuse, i.e, you don't feel up to it or whatever, and don't give it a second thought.

Re: Declining Invitations

Sooner — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:30:27 GMT

@justashopper You are a terrible person to yourself if you think you have to do everything people want you to do! Get over that! Now! OK?

OK!!!!!!

Re: Declining Invitations

On It — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:30:59 GMT

@justashopper Feel confident in declining. A simple "I am sorry, but I can't be there. I hope you all have a wonderful lunch."

Re: Declining Invitations

queendiva — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:33:41 GMT

@justashopper : More info, please.

Just the two of you or are others invited? Out to lunch or at her place?

If i was not excited about the invite I would give no excuse, just respectfully decline the invitation and thank the neighbor for thinking of me, Merry Christmas, etc.

Re: Declining Invitations

Love my grandkids — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:34:17 GMT

@justashopper I don't know where people get the idea they are "terrible" for not wanting to do something.

Just say "Sorry, I can't make it. Have a nice time."

NO excuse or reason is necesary. No is a complete sentence.

Re: Declining Invitations

justashopper — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:37:06 GMT

Hi @queendiva

I called her to check to see if she needed anything because we are expecting storms-- like a lot of the country. And she offered me to join a lunch at a restuarant with her and another of her friends later that day.

Re: Declining Invitations

justashopper — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:37:45 GMT

Hi @Love my grandkids

You are so right. I don't know why I felt so bad about it. Its one lunch. LOL

Re: Declining Invitations

justashopper — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:42:13 GMT

Hi @kaydee50

That's right. We all owe it to ourselves to protect and respect our space and needs, too! Thank you!

Re: Declining Invitations

justashopper — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:39:57 GMT

Hi @Sooner

OK!!!

Thanks!!

Re: Declining Invitations

justashopper — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:40:46 GMT

hi @On It

Yes. Thank you. short and sweet. to the point.

Re: Declining Invitations

beckyb1012 — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:51:11 GMT

I say "no thank you" to any invite I do not care to attend. I used to feel so obligated to go to all but with being older I no longer feel that way. Today I am saying no to a catered Christmas lunch barbecue feast only because I know it would ruin my appetite for tonight's festivities. Priority to the event I care the most about. Not to mention all those extra calories. Remember your time is important and how you want to spend it and explanations are not required to anyone.

Re: Declining Invitations

Lisa now in AZ — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:49:38 GMT

I agree with those who said no excuse or reason is necessary. Just, thanks for thinking of me, but I can't make it is more than enough. And make sure to enjoy your day off by doing, or not doing, whatever you want!

Re: Declining Invitations

justashopper — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 16:55:03 GMT

Hi @beckyb1012

You bring up a good point. I don't want to eat two meals out in one day. Too many calories in one day if I go out to dinner as I planned. My sleep will be messed up by it, too.

It's hard during the holidays to not gain a few pounds.... LOL