topic Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out... in Community Chat

I'm ready to tear my hair out...

GoneButNotForgotten — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 18:39:46 GMT

My health is deteriorating, I have a really unpleasant medical test tomorrow, yesterday my very dear husband had to drive through a snowstorm to take me to a medical appointment, (because of the medications I take, my doctor doesn't want me to drive) then had to drive me all the way back so I could have a blood draw.

Last week I woke up with a huge bloody-looking blotch on my neck and chest, and now my doctor wants me to have a bunch of more tests. I wouldn't mind so much even though it's so unsightly but it takes weeks to get in to see the specialists she wants me to see. If I can't get an appt, in a resonable time, she wants to go to the ER, which means I could sit there for 5 hours waiting to be seen.

That's not an exageration--about a month ago I had to take my DH to the ER and we had to wait just about that long and he ended up having to get his gall bladder removed.

And if that weren't enough, my clothes dryer pooped out and we've had to buy a new one. This makes me glad I have a savings account just for situations like this. (I have more money put aside for BIG emergencies but I don't want to dip into it.)

What's infuriating to me is that my husband sensed that the dryer was on its last legs but didn't say anything to me, so he broke it to me less than a week before Christmas. And he told me in the manner of someone who's dog died--he made it sound much worse than it was. This upsets me a lot and we've been arguing about it for years and he still keeps doing it, then wonders why I react negatively.

I called my son who lives nearby and asked if we could bring our wet laundry over to dry and he sounded very reluctant. After all we've done for him!!! (I'm really indignant about this.)

And my hair is still about 1 or 2 inches long, due to a bad haircut which was MY idea, not my haircutter's. She was only doing what I asked her to do so it isn't her fault; it was "just" my lame-brained idea. Between my awful looking hair (yes I know it'll grow out but it's going to take several months) and my nasty-looking neck...

I've had many great Christmases and a few not-so-good and I'm afraid this is going to be a not-so-good one. I feel unhappy about all this negative stuff but I'll try to be a good soldier and put on a happy face. It will take a lot of effort but I don't want to spoil it for the rest of the family.

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

Cakers3 — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 18:46:54 GMT

@GoneButNotForgotten It is ok to vent and it is ok to feel frustrated and disappointed.

My suggestion, fwiw, is to accept them all as they are and focus on your own health.

I hope your health issues will calm down for you and I hope you can find a way to accept what cannot be changed-for your own sake.

Wishing you some peace.

Be well.

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

Nancy Drew — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 18:51:56 GMT

I try to picture my self a week from now or a month from. That this is temporary. Easier said than done I know. And why do appliances always go out around holidays or special events?

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

threecees — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 18:53:41 GMT

Christmas is just a day long. Focus on your health and your

relationship with your husband. Stay positive and take things day

by day. Hope you will have a healthy new year.

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

qualitygal — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 18:54:41 GMT

@Cakers3 wrote:
@GoneButNotForgotten It is ok to vent and it is ok to feel frustrated and disappointed.

My suggestion, fwiw, is to accept them all as they are and focus on your own health.

I hope your health issues will calm down for you and I hope you can find a way to accept what cannot be changed-for your own sake.

Wishing you some peace.

Be well.

I agree. Health first, wet clothes 2nd, some stuff you just go through, like it or not. Hope and pray, your health will soon get better for you. Hang in there, a bit at a time. It just feels like an avalanche.

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

GoneButNotForgotten — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:04:35 GMT

as far as my dryer is concerned--it's over 12 years old so I knew this was possible--even likely--but did it have to happen just before Christmas?

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

moonandthestars — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:13:31 GMT

@GoneButNotForgotten So sorry you're going through all this. I certainly hope you feel better soon.

I do have a couple of suggestions - just minor things, but they could help to ease at least something with the load of stuff you're going through.

There are services available where someone will come to your house and do a blood draw, and then get it to the proper lab for analysis. Your dr. should be able to arrange that for you - especially since it's your doctor who doesn't want you do drive. Insurance should cover that extra fee (maybe $30? $40?) but you may have to pay it upfront and ask for reimbursement.

About your hair - yes, it will grow back, but if you hate it, get a wig!! I'm sure someone on this board can recommend a good brand for you. Maybe get something fun. Or just go with something that's close to how you usually wear it.

I assume from what you wrote that your doctor doesn't think the huge blotch is anything too worrisome. Did she share with you what she thought it could be? And if she thought there was something in the interrim you could do to treat it and improve how it looks?

I'd be irritated about the dryer too, but that's a simple thing to fix. Buy one. Or if you want maybe there are some second hand ones available on facebook marketplace or nextdoor or one of those online sites. You know, if you want something in the interrim while you decide on the dryer you really want. And don't worry about your son - just use his dryer!

Feel better and take care of yourself.

I wanted to add: good luck on your test tomorrow. The good news is that soon you'll be on the other side of it ..... i.e. done/accomplished

also, aren't there a lot of sales on appliances after christmas? am I remembering that right?

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

FancyPhillyshopper — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:18:17 GMT

Gosh, don't let small issues overwhelm you! Mechanical things break down all the time--it is just par for the course. No need to fret--just let it pass through you.

Regarding your son--maybe it was the WAY you asked him--if you sounded angry and stressed you might have made him uncomfortable. Perhaps you should put your husband in charge of contacting your son and getting the clothes dried while you wait for your new dryer. Instead of being so angry with your husband about the dryer, you should just ask him when he is getting the new one delivered.

Finally, back to your health. If you want to tear out your own hair that means you have very strong emotions. That can also lead to high blood pressure and physical problems. You are stressing yourself out so much you might be doing damage. You need to find a way to calm yourself, practice breathing techniques, listen to soothing music, take a hot bath, etc.

I certainly agree that emergency rooms are unpleasant and to be avoided unless absolutely necessary. Is there a small clinic nearby? Are your symptoms worsening or improving? You need to monitor your health.

As to disliking your hair and your neck, that is all in your mind!! Go dye your hair purple or blue and that is all you and anyone else will notice. You are magnifying imaginary defects instead of focusing on the positive--a strong marriage, a loyal son, etc., etc.

Don't let the holiday activities affect your mood. Just enjoy and have fun and be a bit more carefree! Best wishes in all.

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

GoneButNotForgotten — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:25:11 GMT

to FancyPhillyshopper--these ARE big issues to me. The reason I'm concerned about my health is because I have a nasty case of hepatitis that really worries me, and it seems like it might be getting worse. (That's not the only health concern I have but it is the most pressing one).

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

KKJ — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:26:03 GMT

I feel your pain @GoneButNotForgotten as I'm dealing with pretty big health issues as well. In fact like you I'm scheduled for test Fri. and major storm is expected so am even more nervous than usual. Prayers all goes well for you!

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

hckynutjohn — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:30:46 GMT

@GoneButNotForgotten

You have a lot going on, much of it not on the good side. Wishing you well.

hckynut 🇺🇸

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

JoyFilled Warrior — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:32:36 GMT

@GoneButNotForgotten

WOW! No wonder you're bummed!

I agree with @qualitygal

sure sounds like an avalanche! (esp with most of our expectations of the Holiday season)!

My car is now "double broken" unable to be driven since the Walm shooting (Nov). I have to keep telling myself, "it can wait until after Christmas" Otherwise, I'll go crazy, & ruin my only 2022 Christmas.

I've caved & today, finally accepted Trial Prime Amz for groceries delivery for today. And if I need the Vet, or doctor until car repair, I'll take an Uber (for the 1st time).

And when I worry, which I always do, I try push it out of my "worry basket."

And instead, I'd do something for myself that is very self-nurturing, w/o having to additionally be on my "best behavior" with my family, cause they're truly crazy!. heh

*HUGS* @GoneButNotForgotten

Hang on to our understanding, caring HUGS, & our best, Well Wishes

.. perhaps while considering the prioritized parts of yr current "avalanche" .

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

qvcaddition — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:37:11 GMT

@GoneButNotForgotten

I hear you. Wish I know about the dryer I might have been able to give you some suggestions from my experience. Mine did the same, but was able to save it and not from their repair man who knew nothing, but had a son who figured it out.

But as far as your health. The suggestions to concentrate on it are very good and important. It's very hard to cope when you have health issues.

All I can do for you is include you in my prayers. I will do so until your issue is resolved.

It is good to vent, when you have to, also writing helps.

I would write when I had problems this,

I feel good today, my health is good. I would be specific about the health problems in my writing. I know it sounds sillying, but it worked for me and things got much better. Again, sounds silly, but worked. In the meantime, easier said than done, but please try as hard as it is, not to add the stress, makes it worse. You will be at the top of my prayer list.

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

RetRN — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:38:29 GMT

@GoneButNotForgotten, you are dealing with a lot right now. I'm sure you are feeling disappointed and frustrated. If your son is aware of what is going on I think his response was uncalled for and disrespectful. Take it one day at a day, your health is most important.

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

JoyFilled Warrior — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:44:19 GMT

@GoneButNotForgotten

I HATE Emergency Rooms, truly. And the inevitable long wait, "adds insult to injury!"

I've come to frequent a "Patients First" facility/bldg, MUCH less wait, good docs. (The 2nd Doc i went to there, I liked even better, in fact, went back the same day, & was assigned this 2nd doc, & I hope to stick with him for Emergencies.

. That might be an option to an Emer Rm.

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

goldensrbest — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 19:46:31 GMT

At times life just stinks,doesn't it? Hope things get better for you.

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

sarahpanda — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 20:03:38 GMT

@GoneButNotForgotten ....If I was there, I'd give you a ''big ol' hug'' and tell you everything is gonna be alright !!! And it will - this to shall pass. Just take a deep breath and forge on (and don't forget to pray for patience and strength, it helps !!)

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

FastDogWalker2 — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 20:12:05 GMT

@GoneButNotForgotten So sorry - when it rains it pours for sure! Hopefully, you can get some satisfaction in the coming days and weeks. Easier said but done - try to take each day at a time and take it easy on yourself. EVERYTHING feels worse when you don't feel well. Sending wishes for health and peace - hugs

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

LizzieInSRQ — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 20:28:55 GMT

Maybe your son's home is a mess and he's embarrassed. Mine is HORRIBLE right now because of my spine sprain. No way would I have guests over. It's been since late September since I've been able to dust or vacuum or pick and put away stuff.

Anyway, go get all your drying at once at the laundromat, better yet if you can afford it, have them fluff and fold and you pick it back up.

:::hugs for better times ahead:::

Re: I'm ready to tear my hair out...

catter70 — Wed, 21 Dec 2022 20:33:20 GMT

@GoneButNotForgotten , hope all goes well for you. I know how you feel. I have some scans and female tests to go thru next week that I'm not looking forward to. They are follow ups to previous things that didn't go well for me. I just hope they turn out okay this time around. Hoping the best for you and wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.