topic Re: Be Kind To Yourself in Community Chat

Be Kind To Yourself

Its Me LuLuBelle2 — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 04:50:23 GMT

This time of year can be stressful on so many levels. Holiday parties where you want to look your best, whilst bemoaning those few extra pounds. (When the heck did they sneak up?). Shopping for the perfect gift for the less then perfect ungrateful recipient. Planning a dinner to please everyone and worrying how to stretch the budget for that one "special" day and then feeding your family for the couple of weeks beyond.

Breathe. Be the best you without worrying what others will think. Be kind to you and the rest will fall into place. LuLu

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Parischic — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 04:55:47 GMT

Trying, but when a chance seeing my daughter after 8 years of estrangement and going up to her and her telling me 'hope you die soon' is pretty hard to do.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Linmo — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 05:02:27 GMT

@Its Me LuLuBelle2 It's not just about being kind to yourself but being kind to others too. There is too much negativity going on in the world right now.

@Parischic Reach out to your daughter to talk about why she feels that way.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

BoopOMatic — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 05:02:49 GMT

@Parischic wrote:
Trying, but when a chance seeing my daughter after 8 years of estrangement and going up to her and her telling me 'hope you die soon' is pretty hard to do.

YIKES.

Run a mile in the opposite direction!!!

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Its Me LuLuBelle2 — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 05:04:41 GMT

@Parischic wrote:
Trying, but when a chance seeing my daughter after 8 years of estrangement and going up to her and her telling me 'hope you die soon' is pretty hard to do.

@Parischic, hoping you and your daughter can resolve your differences and wishing you peace of heart.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Parischic — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 05:13:31 GMT

Thank you. But doubtful. More to the story.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

rockygems123 — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 05:19:11 GMT

@Parischic wrote:
Trying, but when a chance seeing my daughter after 8 years of estrangement and going up to her and her telling me 'hope you die soon' is pretty hard to do.

@Parischic

After all the work of raising a person and having them say that to you is horrific. Nothing is perfect including how you mothered this child and I'm sorry you had this result and consequence. My heart goes out to you

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Linmo — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 05:27:37 GMT

@Parischic Talk to your daughter to understand what is behind her feelings. If needed, get psychological help for her. Do not blame her without knowing the reasons behind what she is expressing to you.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Parischic — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 05:28:47 GMT

Thank you. Her father and I divorced after 24 years of marriage.She was 22 at the time, but I moved out. She lived with him while going to college along with our other 2 kids. He had to pay me alimony and complained about it and bad mouthed me every month. The kids didn't want to see me and because of their age they didn't have to. Although my ex made excellent money he still blamed me for everything and told the children stories about my depression.
My daughter called me crazy and that's why they didn't want to see me ever again and hoped I would die soon.
I told my psychiatrist (she's known about it for years ) and finally said there was nothing left for me to do but let it go and end it. What my daughter was doing was mentally and emotionally abusive and to stay away.
I blame their Dad. He knew I changed but led them to believe I still had severe depression and did nothing about it.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Linmo — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 05:47:51 GMT

@Parischic Divorce is hard on children of any age. Give your daughter and other kids time to heal and just let them know that you are there for them if they ever need you.

I hope you will continue to get treatment for your depression. Depression runs in our family, so I know how dibiilitating it can be. Take care!

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Its Me LuLuBelle2 — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 06:06:48 GMT

@Linmo wrote:
@Its Me LuLuBelle2 It's not just about being kind to yourself but being kind to others too. There is too much negativity going on in the world right now.
@Parischic Reach out to your daughter to talk about why she feels that way.

@Linmo, we certainly should be kind to others too, but all too often others forget to be kind to us. This past Thanksgiving I hosted 14 people. I served dinner 30 minutes after the invitation time and one of my husband's nephews had the gall to say to me, and I quote, "maybe if you started dinner earlier we would be eating on time." This from a man who has happily gorged at my table for years and years and has never brought so much as a 2 liter bottle of the diet coke he loves. This is far from the first snarky remark he's made, but it is his last as my husband has had enough of the insults lobbed at us . He will not be sitting at our Christmas table this year. Be kind to you - especially when others choose not to.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Linmo — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 06:11:34 GMT

@Its Me LuLuBelle2 I hear you. Just leave him off of the guest list next year.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

hckynutjohn — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 08:06:23 GMT

@Its Me LuLuBelle2 wrote:
This time of year can be stressful on so many levels. Holiday parties where you want to look your best, whilst bemoaning those few extra pounds. (When the heck did they sneak up?). Shopping for the perfect gift for the less then perfect ungrateful recipient. Planning a dinner to please everyone and worrying how to stretch the budget for that one "special" day and then feeding your family for the couple of weeks beyond.

Breathe.

Be the best you without worrying what others will think.

@Its Me LuLuBelle2

I have lived pretty much all of my adult life without giving 1 hoot what others think of me. Those close to me are the only ones that truly know me, and I them.

Friends/acquaintances/busy bodies? I could not care less what they think of me or how I live my life. I have never quite understood why so many are concerned about what other(unimportant humans) think of them, and/or how they choose to live their life.

If one is not "kind to themselves", why would they think others would be?

hckynut(john)🥅🏒 🇺🇸

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

meallen616 — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 10:45:12 GMT

Everybody,

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Chopsmom — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 11:16:46 GMT

@Parischic

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

You're doctor is 100% correct. Regardless of what your daughter thinks you or the whole situation, that was a vile, hateful thing to say. You don't need to take that abuse from ANYBODY.

Take care.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

PamfromCT — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 11:21:10 GMT

@Parischic, I am most sorry for all you have and continue to go through. Unfortunately, your daughter sounds like a very unhappy and abusive person. Please avoid her.

It might be nice if you could find a friendly group of people to interact with. You might speak with your therapist about that.

It doesn’t fix things, but it might be a positive outlet for you.

Wishing you all my best!

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

PamfromCT — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 11:27:40 GMT

@meallen616, You are so correct. Kindness matters. I personally think it is lacking in many places.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Chopsmom — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 11:27:43 GMT

@Its Me LuLuBelle2 wrote:
@Linmo wrote:
@Its Me LuLuBelle2 It's not just about being kind to yourself but being kind to others too. There is too much negativity going on in the world right now.
@Parischic Reach out to your daughter to talk about why she feels that way.
@Linmo, we certainly should be kind to others too, but all too often others forget to be kind to us. This past Thanksgiving I hosted 14 people. I served dinner 30 minutes after the invitation time and one of my husband's nephews had the gall to say to me, and I quote, "maybe if you started dinner earlier we would be eating on time." This from a man who has happily gorged at my table for years and years and has never brought so much as a 2 liter bottle of the diet coke he loves. This is far from the first snarky remark he's made, but it is his last as my husband has had enough of the insults lobbed at us . He will not be sitting at our Christmas table this year. Be kind to you - especially when others choose not to.

Wow. How rude can you get?

Not inviting him this year is the perfect example of being kind to you. Everyone else probably feels the same way too.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

Milo on qvc — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 13:35:41 GMT

I AM SO SORRY. SO SORRY.

Re: Be Kind To Yourself

teganslaw — Sun, 18 Dec 2022 13:43:23 GMT

Parischic, I would cut that person out of my life, even if she is your daughter. You don't have to take abuse like that. No use in trying to talk to her, as some have mentioned. A person like that isn't worth your time.