topic Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding in Community Chat

Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

Calcgirl — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 10:24:57 GMT

My granddaughter is getting married at her future in-laws backyard because they want an outdoor wedding and the future in laws wanted it at their home.My daughter is funding the entire cost of the wedding, including all of the rentals, etc. Both bride and groom are in their mid-twenties and teachers, all of the guests ( up to 140) are either family or professional type friends, not a bunch of hooligans. Well, the future in-laws told my daughter that she also needs to rent an outhouse because they do not want the guests using their bathrooms or going inside the home. The home is large and well-maintained and upper-scale.

The wedding and reception are in the evening. Maybe I am overreacting, but I think the idea of having guests at a wedding use an outhouse and not be allowed to use a bathroom is distasteful. Am I wrong? I am so afraid one of the older relatives will be insulted and that that my granddaughter will become the laughing stock at work and hurt her feelings. So far the soon to be married couple or my daughter seem to think this idea seems of poor taste and feel that they need to honor the request. Changing venues is out of the question because the invitationshave been sent out and they do not want to make waves with the new in-laws.

Of course I am just venting here because there is nothing else I can do. I am minding my own business.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

happy2write4u — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 11:10:41 GMT

I guess since the future in laws want it at their home, perhaps it would be a good idea for them to allow guests to use their bathroom. Now, getting them to agree to this, she may have a hard time. Maybe the groom needs to step up and talk with them and kind of lay down the law.

I think you are right and can only hope they realize that this is not a good idea.I may be wrong but if it is a large upper scale home, I would think there would be more than one bathroom,maybe some possibly down stairs, I hope everything works out for the couple. I would only honor it if it were to be held out in the middle of nowhere, but since they the in laws wanted it at their home, I think they should graciously comply with inside bathroom privileges, especially since it was their suggestion to have it there. I sincerely hope that this isn't a red flag as to what the couple may face in the future with these people.

Best wishes and Congrats. Hoping this can be worked out.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

luvdoodles — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 13:24:15 GMT

Oh boy, I feel sorry for your grand daughter, out houses at a wedding. Are you kidding me. I can only imagine how the guests will feel. When the in-laws offered their home they should have stated prior to the invitations being sent, their bathrooms are off limits. The couple could have had the time to consider another venue. Their son needs to have a good talk with them. Last time I ever used an out house was at a high school football game many years ago. They are disgusting and filthy. How embarrassing. Just imagine how shocked the quests will be when they need to use the facilities. Your poor grand daughter. I hope they can figure something out, it doesn't say much for the in-laws at all.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

colliegirls — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 13:41:58 GMT

What if it rains? No one will be allowed inside? Of course the in laws need to allow their bathrooms to be used. This wasn't discussed before the invitations were ordered?

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

MaggieToo — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 13:42:30 GMT

I'd change the venue ASAP.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

CelticCrafter — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 13:47:44 GMT

Where are they supposed to wash their hands? Garden hose?

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

JustJules — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 13:49:48 GMT

It's not such an unreasonable request in my opinion. A wedding of that size, having up to 150 people coming and going in their home and using their restroom, I can understand. That being said, there are companies that rent outdoor bathrooms that are not the typical blue porta-potty you see at the county fair. They have stairs, and several stalls with doors, and vanity with sinks, like a restroom in a restaurant, but it is built into a trailer and towed to the site. They are actually very nice, and although not inexpensive, they certainly are much better than the blue outhouse. Many years ago my godparents had their daughter's wedding reception at their home on the grounds of their estate. They were extremely well to do, but had a guest list of nearly 300 people. There was no way they could accommodate that many people using their bathrooms so they used these upscale outdoor restrooms. Nobody complained about using them because they were kept clean, and they were really no different than using an indoor bathroom.

You say your granddaughter is paying the entire cost of the wedding, so I don't know if she planned such a thing into her budget. If she can afford these upscale outdoor bathrooms, that is the way to go. If not, then I would find a different location for my wedding/reception before having guests use the blue porta-lets. Perhaps since the in-laws are the ones that want them to have the wedding in their backyard, they should be the ones to pay for the outdoor bathrooms? Again, the idea isn't so distasteful, but there is a classy way to handle it and a tacky way.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

shesallthat — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 13:56:13 GMT

i don't blame them - who would want "up to 140 people" in and out of their bathroom(s)!! it would not happen at my house even if i wanted the wedding there!

and just like many other things in this world - all port-a-potty's are not the same! they have some very deluxe models available for situations like this!

WEDDING DELUXE FEATURES:

Inner door latch for privacy.
Large 60 gallon waste tank for maximum use.
Lightweight construction allows for easy mobility.
Fully Stocked toilet paper & paper towel dispensers.
Vanity area with fresh water sink, mirror, soap & paper towels.
Flushable toilet design prevents users from seeing into waste tank.
Foot operated handwash station provides hygienic hands-free operation.

Dimensions: 47?L x 47?W x 91?H

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

brii — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 14:12:08 GMT

I wouldn't want 140 people in my house using my bathroom. You'd almost need an attendant keeping it stocked with soap, towels, and toilet paper.

There have port a potties for outdoor events like these. It's not unreasonable.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

spud188 — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 14:22:15 GMT

Ditto to what Jules said,some outdoor toilets are actually nice.

We have a large 2 seater behind our shop complete with a sky light & vanity with a mirror,we keep hand sanitizer and paper towels on it.

For large outdoor parties we always rent 2 Porta-Potties,this includes 2 Weddings.They come with a wall deordorizer and hand sanitizers. I don't ban anyone from using the indoor bathrooms,most folks get the hint that they are there for a reason.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

violann — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 14:27:58 GMT

The sanitary facilities available for outdoor events in our area are, believe me, NOT "outhouses" and they cost big bucks to rent. Also, the expectation that guests be provided with alternative facilities is not really so outlandish around my area either. Depending upon the type of plumbing in the house, it might quickly be overwhelmed by the number of guests expected. The idea is certainly not in poor taste here. Arizona may certainly be different from the NYC tri-state area.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

Financialgrl — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 14:31:51 GMT

Tacky - this isn't an outdoor barbeque or large family reunion and I'm guessing people won't be there in jeans and tees. I don't care how much you dress up a porta potty, its still an outdoor toilet. Either they change the venue or the in-laws allow use of their bathrooms,. period.

Either they should have invited a much more manageable guest list or held this somewhere where toilets aren't an issue. And yes, I get that one can rent some very nice porta potties these days but still . . . IMO totally not appropriate.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

Luv2Decorate — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 14:36:19 GMT

She's probably renting one of these:

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

missy1 — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 14:44:20 GMT

Tacky! Kim (Atlanta housewife) had one at hers. I also wouldn't want strangers in my house. I would have chose a different venue. Seems like they are having it there to save money. So the invitations went out? This should have been discussed beforehand. This might create a strained relationship with the in-laws. Also, some guests may want to know the accommodations, beforehand. I mailed the invites 8 weeks in advance. I assume the wedding is soon. Not sure where you live, but it could be cold. Do you have heaters or a tent?

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

CouponQueen — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 15:07:25 GMT

I can see both points. I would not want 140 people in/out of my house. Usually where there is a wedding there is alcohol served and then more use of the facilities.

I would look into the more upscale outdoor toilets and discuss the cost with the In-Laws. Maybe they will be willing to pick up the cost or split the cost. Either way though sometimes there is unexpected costs and they may need to scale back elsewhere..

I don't care how professional people are - when it comes to other people's property manners sometimes are forgotten. I have noticed this often. Professional and how much money you make does not necessarily mean anything these days.

In addition I can't even imagine how much toilet paper and other supplies 140 people would use and then I wouldn't want them in/out of my house. More so I don't have shoes on in the house.

I don't think the blue porto potties is what they meant ...there is many upscale models to use. 140 people is a lot of people to even expect to be in/out of somebody's home..upscale included.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

Mominohio — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 15:16:39 GMT

On 1/10/2014 Jules5280 said:
It's not such an unreasonable request in my opinion. A wedding of that size, having up to 150 people coming and going in their home and using their restroom, I can understand. That being said, there are companies that rent outdoor bathrooms that are not the typical blue porta-potty you see at the county fair. They have stairs, and several stalls with doors, and vanity with sinks, like a restroom in a restaurant, but it is built into a trailer and towed to the site. They are actually very nice, and although not inexpensive, they certainly are much better than the blue outhouse. Many years ago my godparents had their daughter's wedding reception at their home on the grounds of their estate. They were extremely well to do, but had a guest list of nearly 300 people. There was no way they could accommodate that many people using their bathrooms so they used these upscale outdoor restrooms. Nobody complained about using them because they were kept clean, and they were really no different than using an indoor bathroom.

You say your granddaughter is paying the entire cost of the wedding, so I don't know if she planned such a thing into her budget. If she can afford these upscale outdoor bathrooms, that is the way to go. If not, then I would find a different location for my wedding/reception before having guests use the blue porta-lets. Perhaps since the in-laws are the ones that want them to have the wedding in their backyard, they should be the ones to pay for the outdoor bathrooms? Again, the idea isn't so distasteful, but there is a classy way to handle it and a tacky way.

These upscale "outhouses" sound wonderful! I had no idea they even existed. This would seem the perfect solution, and if the family is so upscale, perhaps along with the catering service, they could employ a restroom attendant to keep the area clean and serviced as well. I would wonder if space issues or zoning regulations would permit something like this, but all this should have been thought of before the invitations sent out.

The only way a standard porta potty set up would be appropriate would be if it was a remote area wedding, and the attire was very casual.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

adelle38 — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 15:28:36 GMT

Is it possible to just have the ceremony at the parents' home and rent an indoor facility for the reception? I can see the parents point of view. That's a lot of people using facilities. They need to think about it and talk it over.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

heartkeeper — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 15:28:52 GMT

The outdoor toilets might be a lot better than how they were before but...

if you don't want people using your "amenities" or can't handle the amount of people invited, you should not be hosting the gathering. Period.

I feel for your daughter; these in-laws sound like real winners. I hope this is not an indication of future behavior.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

heartkeeper — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 15:31:34 GMT

On 1/10/2014 adelle38 said:
Is it possible to just have the ceremony at the parents' home and rent an indoor facility for the reception? I can see the parents point of view. That's a lot of people using facilities. They need to think about it and talk it over.

The in-laws wanted the wedding at their house. If they don't want people using their bathrooms, or if they can not handle the number of people, they should not have said they wanted the wedding there.

Re: Outhouse at an Outdoor Wedding

missy1 — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 15:33:44 GMT

I agree a bathroom attendant is needed. Also I hope the backyard is large enough so the port a potties are not to close. If the in-laws have grass will this trailor ruin it? Where I live the health department would be monitoring it. (food).