topic Re: Snooping Guest in Community Chat

Snooping Guest

Biftu — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 14:21:28 GMT

i had guests this past weekend who didn't stay overnight but the ten year old daughter was bored with all adult company (I don't blame her) so she went upstairs in my house to do what I don't know. When they left I went upstairs to find my desk drawers open, the storage bench where I keep off season linens must have been opened because the folded blanket on top was moved, my shower curtain was pulled back, the linen closet was slightly ajar. Who knows what else she got into. She's a sweet girl, but I guess her nickname should be Snoopy. Adults should discourage this type of behavior if there aware their children have these tendencies.

Re: Snooping Guest

phoenixbrd — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 14:28:04 GMT

@Biftu 😱 I hope the parents let her know that this is totally unacceptable and invasive of another person's property. It needs to be addressed so this behavior does not continue. Sorry you had this experience.

Re: Snooping Guest

Marp — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 14:30:41 GMT

Between the parents and you why was she allowed to go upstairs alone in the first place?

Re: Snooping Guest

lgfan — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 14:33:05 GMT

Did you check if anything was missing? At least she has an excuse for her behavior. She is ten years old. I have had adults in my house who are snoops. They make themselves comfortable by going through my closets and pantry.

Re: Snooping Guest

Shanus — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 14:51:37 GMT

@Biftu wrote:
i had guests this past weekend who didn't stay overnight but the ten year old daughter was bored with all adult company (I don't blame her) so she went upstairs in my house to do what I don't know. When they left I went upstairs to find my desk drawers open, the storage bench where I keep off season linens must have been opened because the folded blanket on top was moved, my shower curtain was pulled back, the linen closet was slightly ajar. Who knows what else she got into. She's a sweet girl, but I guess her nickname should be Snoopy. Adults should discourage this type of behavior if there aware their children have these tendencies.

@Biftu This is a touchy subject. If the guests were family, the little girl felt comfortable and not "invasive" just curious and looking around...probably for something to play with.

If friends, how could you ever say anything without sounding like accusing their kid as a thief?

I'd let it go and learn from the experience. If guests arrive with children, make it clear that upstairs is off limits.

Re: Snooping Guest

ID2 — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 14:51:07 GMT

No harm, no foul right? There's far worse things that could have happened. Forgive and forget.

Re: Snooping Guest

FastDogWalker2 — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 15:13:23 GMT

I had a young child at my home once who took candy (without asking) that I was stockpiling for an upcoming school party. Her mother was very restrictive about what the child was allowed to eat so I chalked it up to an opportunity she had not had before. I didn't tell her mother - wasn't sure what her reaction would be.

Re: Snooping Guest

Scooby Doo — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 15:16:11 GMT

She's just a bored kid. I remember when I was that age and had to go with my parents to visit relatives and I was bored out of my mind. However, I took with me some art paper and colored pencils so I could draw. Next time perhaps have something ready that she could entertain herself with or even put a movie on the tv.

Re: Snooping Guest

Trailrun23 — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 15:16:24 GMT

I am surprised the parents would not have wondered where she was and what she was doing. I would definitely have gone to find my own child and brought her back downstairs. If nothing else, give her an iPad or something else to coups her time. Going through someone else's e things is not okay, no matter whose home you are in.

Re: Snooping Guest

781Florist — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 15:21:50 GMT

I know, I know...we are not in the Bronze Age anymore, but some practices should be

timeless. As children we were taught (drilled?) that when in other people's homes we could go into whatever room we were invited into. If you entered the kitchen you stayed there unless you were invited into the den. You NEVER went anywhere without being accompanied or invited. Special exemption---the bathroom.

Also, I don't know if it was a rule peculiar to my family or not, but you would absolutely positively never go into someone's refrigerator. I still don't go in other folks' refrigerators

and I am 70. (O.K., my sister's if they tell me to!!)

Re: Snooping Guest

blueroses47 — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 15:26:22 GMT

I hang my head with shame, but I have to admit, I do remember being around that age, and doing a little snooping in relatives' homes when they were out in the backyard and I was left to my own devices.

Of course, my parents would be appalled, I was a pretty good little girl, and obedient, but I was only a child. I think I did it out of curiosity and maybe a degree of boredom, but I certainly never took anything or made a mess. I just vaguely remember looking into closets, opened a jewelry box, or that sort of thing. I looked up to my older relatives, loved being with them, and was fascinated by my aunts makeup, jewelry etc.

I wouldn't make too much of it, especially if nothing was taken or destroyed.

I'n 75 years old now, and have lived a crime-free, honest life without really having much interest in anyone's private business at all. Can't even really tell you what kind of cars my neighbors drive. My limited snooping life was confined to a few childhood episodes.

Re: Snooping Guest

drizzellla — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 15:31:24 GMT

@Biftu I know how you feel. But I really don't have an answer. Wish I did.

My brother brought his girlfriend to stay at our house for several days. I happened to walk into MY bedroom and there she was going through my underwear drawer. I asked her if she was looking for something, she said "no", closed the drawer and walked away.

Then my other brother was staying at our house for over a week. I had settled my parents estate. Before it was settled I made copies of everything and said that my brothers could have copies of everything. It took awhile to finally settle the estate because my Dad had a stroke and my Mom kept no records. I had no idea what assets they had. She also shreded all records of "gifts" my parents had given this brother through the years.

So when I was at work my brother went through all financial records in the house. He also made copies. Because with the tax returns to the city, state and IRS, I had all original copies. After his rummaging through everything, there were copies and originals all mixed up.

I have learned that when you open your house to people, there are going to be sneaks. And also things missing. It is just the nature of some people. And you can't stop it.

Re: Snooping Guest

ThinkingOutLoud — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 15:33:50 GMT

My first thought was that she was looking for something to play with. If they'll be back in the future, perhaps having some options for her would be helpful or at least make it known where she's not allowed to go. You could also ask the parents to have daughter bring her manners with her next time.

Re: Snooping Guest

occasionalrain — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 15:38:56 GMT

You should have questioned her as to why she was going upstairs unless there was no bathroom downstairs. In that case, after 15 minutes you should have gone upstairs to investigate.

Her parents should be informed of their child's behavior. At ten, a child should know better than to go through other's property. Apparently, her parents haven't taught her manners or she would have at least attempted to hide the evidence of her snooping.

Depending on the parent's response, they may not be invited back.

Re: Snooping Guest

eadu4 — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 15:49:18 GMT

@Biftu I'm sure you expected her to sit there quietly, not do anything and listen to adult conversation? I guarantee she got bored. I'm surprised the parents didn't bring something to keep her busy with. If they didn't I sure as heck would have shown her the TV, movies, I always have games and stuff for kids should someone come with a child.

Everyone on here talking about manners and how she should have been a good girl etc...good grief. You expected a ten year old girl to sit with a bunch of older people for hours and do what? Seriously. Ok so she got up and wandered and checked out some stuff. I don't call it snooping I call it "hello, adults in the room, you have a child here that is extremely bored with nothing to do" No one including adults like to be stuck in a room of boring people. I know people will say "back in my day you did what you were told and sat there and did nothing." Yeah and guess what? You were miserable. Put yourself back there. Why would you want someone else to be miserable? I try to put myself in the kids shoes. If I would be bored then I find something for them to do.

Re: Snooping Guest

occasionalrain — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 16:35:36 GMT

I was brought up, unlike most it seems, to have personal honor. Snooping, pilfering would never have crossed my mind.

This child wasn't an innocent looking for some play thing by going through linens and desk drawers, she was looking for hidden cash.

Re: Snooping Guest

Group 5 minus 1 — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 16:00:53 GMT

We had a guest and younger guest visiting us. The younger guest went upstairs to the loft. The adult guest told him not to do that. And thats the name of the game.

DIscourage? Forbid!!! that behavior.

Re: Snooping Guest

occasionalrain — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 16:04:47 GMT

@eadu4

At ten a child should bring her own entertainment, like a book to read, a tablet for drawing. Depending upon the neborhood, she could have gone outside for a walk.

Re: Snooping Guest

ValuSkr — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 18:20:36 GMT

That was uncalled for. Snoopy's parents need to keep her on a shorter leash. If I were you, I wouldn't have let her roam the house.

Re: Snooping Guest

Sage04 — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 16:08:17 GMT

I've heard of adults doing this but it's usually your medicine cabinet that's in the bathroom.

Wonder if that's why the houses nowadays don't have a medicine cabinet?