topic Re: The right thing to do in Community Chat

The right thing to do

BoopOMatic — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 19:31:39 GMT

I'd like opinions on this.

I just saw a clip from a TV show that featured a lady in her late '50s who was having what amounts to a fantasy romance with a young guy in his '20s who lives on a different continent.

She wants to marry him, even though they are totally unsuitable for each other.

Even after he publicly disparaged her, insulted her, and made it plain that he wasn't in love with her, she is insisting on flying to his country and proposing to him.

The clip was her 2 friends listening to her plans and their shocked reactions. She was obviously in a dream world, had already been taken advantage of, and was asking for more of the same from this man.

Question: faced with this situation, should her friends be honest and tell her she's making a huge mistake, or should they be a "friend" and support whatever she wants to do - even if it causes emotional and/or financial harm to her?

Re: The right thing to do

RedTop — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 19:42:57 GMT

I'm the friend that looks you in the eye and tells you what I think, and yes, in this situation I would loudly tell my friend she is making the biggest mistake of her life.

Re: The right thing to do

Kachina624 — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 19:43:07 GMT

This type of situation is beyond the capabilities of friends. A member of the woman's family should be contacted, the situation explained, so arrangements can be made for psychiatric help. She is obviously highly delusional.

Re: The right thing to do

ninjawife — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 19:46:32 GMT

A true friend will tell you the truth.

Re: The right thing to do

Q4u — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 19:59:32 GMT

The grown-up son of this woman has told her many times that this isn't what she should do. Yes, as a friend I would tell her that IMO this is a mistake. Yes, she needs to talk to a professional about this and have her realize that she is not the only 50+ female that goes on this kind of bender when she realizes she's not young anymore. I also realize that a young man (30's) can fall in love with a 50+ woman and have a successful life, BUT it certainly isn't the norm. I've watched this guy before on this show with another 50+ woman, and married her and divorced her.. But my opinion is that he is definitely after a green card so he can become the world-famous rapper he thinks he is..... JMHO

Re: The right thing to do

RetRN — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 20:02:47 GMT

I would mind my own business, it is her life and she will do what she wants. These people do not listen to others anyhow as they believe they know best.

Re: The right thing to do

Mombo1 — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 20:03:43 GMT

@RedTop wrote:
I'm the friend that looks you in the eye and tells you what I think, and yes, in this situation I would loudly tell my friend she is making the biggest mistake of her life.

@RedTop And RUN.

Re: The right thing to do

kaydee50 — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 20:20:47 GMT

I would have to give my honest opinion and tell her she's nuts to want to marry a guy who doesn't want to marry her.

I'm not the type who would support someone who is making what appears to be a disastrous decision.

Re: The right thing to do

Kachina624 — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 20:26:20 GMT

@RetRN wrote:
I would mind my own business, it is her life and she will do what she wants. These people do not listen to others anyhow as they believe they know best.

@RetRN Is right, she is so determined, she isn't going to listen to reason....in one ear and out the other. She's going to crash and burn. Women who think they're in love can lose sense of reality and be so stupid.

Re: The right thing to do

SharkE — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 20:27:21 GMT

be better to hire a local male escort.

Re: The right thing to do

Kachina624 — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 20:44:06 GMT

@SharkE I always say, " support your LOCAL scammers".

Re: The right thing to do

lynnie61 — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 21:15:45 GMT

I tried to be a true friend several years ago to a very special longtime friend. Told her not to marry this guy. She knew him 3 months. Family devastated, but had hoped she found love again. Well, that lasted about 15 months, only after he drained her bank account and put her far in debt, divorced her. She has since remarried a third time. I hope three’s a charm for her.

You see this kind of stuff on Dr. Phil constantly. I just don’t get it.

Sometimes you just can’t get through to someone that thinks they are in love. It’s very sad.

Re: The right thing to do

SharkE — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 21:16:36 GMT

my money comes first. Nobody is getting it.

Re: The right thing to do

Goodie2shoes — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 21:18:08 GMT

It appears you are referring to the TV show 90 day Fiance' I saw the preview of that episode where she told her friends she was flying to his country to ask him to marry her and they discouraged it so she got up and walked out of the restaurant quite upset with them. I think they had her well being in mind but it's her decision to make. Her adult son has voiced his concern about the relationship in previous episodes. The guy she is looking to marry was in a previous relationship with another older woman and I believe they ended up divorcing

Re: The right thing to do

deepwaterdotter — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 21:55:53 GMT

@RetRN wrote:
I would mind my own business, it is her life and she will do what she wants. These people do not listen to others anyhow as they believe they know best.

This.

Re: The right thing to do

chickenbutt — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 21:59:29 GMT

@Goodie2shoes wrote:
It appears you are referring to the TV show 90 day Fiance' I saw the preview of that episode where she told her friends she was flying to his country to ask him to marry her and they discouraged it so she got up and walked out of the restaurant quite upset with them. I think they had her well being in mind but it's her decision to make. Her adult son has voiced his concern about the relationship in previous episodes. The guy she is looking to marry was in a previous relationship with another older woman and I believe they ended up divorcing

That's the same couple who came to mind for me. She's a fool but, like others have said, when somebody gets their mind set there is no amount of reason that will snap them out of it.

Sadly, there will be some degree of crash and burn, whether it be emotional or financial (or both).

Re: The right thing to do

hckynutjohn — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 23:38:45 GMT

"I'd like opinions on this:"

@BoopOMatic

My opinion. If asked I would tell them very directly in words they understand. From there it is up to them to make their own decision. What happens after that is out of my hands.

E.T.A. I somehow missed this was a TV show, DUH! Same opinion however. Had I seen the "TV show part"? Went past this.

hckynut 🇺🇸

Re: The right thing to do

Effie54 — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 22:36:13 GMT

@Kachina624 wrote:
@SharkE I always say, " support your LOCAL scammers".

Yup! That's what it sounds like to me....catfish!

Re: The right thing to do

chessylady — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 22:37:45 GMT

This is a reality show. It is scripted to keep you watching. Watch it for fun but don't take it seriously.

Re: The right thing to do

Kachina624 — Wed, 31 Aug 2022 22:38:59 GMT

@SharkE wrote:
my money comes first. Nobody is getting it.

@SharkE LOL, Just the jewelry merchants.