topic Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . . in Community Chat

Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

LilacTree — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:08:54 GMT

I did not want to post on that thread because I did not want to take a chance of that topic being hijacked.

My girls have lost all of their aunts now. My beloved sister died two and a half years ago in a hospice where she was well cared for.

My girls are this minute in Delaware at the memorial of one of their aunts on their father's side, who had been in/out of the ICU at the hospital and died on January 2, just a few days after coming home from the hospital. Her sister, my girls' other aunt on their father's side, died several years ago, four days after coming home from heart valve surgery which was deemed successful. She had contracted MRSA and no one had noticed.

I also had two very close calls with two of my children, one in a dentist's chair (she took inordinately long to come out of the "twilight sleep" he had put her in). As I waited and waited with my other children, who had procedures also, but were fine, I was a wreck about my little daughter who was still unconscious. He kept reassuring me that "some children just take a little longer," and I was thinking "he gave her too much." She finally did wake up, but I never went back to that dentist again. I told my then husband about it, but he didn't want to take any action. She was alive and it was over and done with, was his position.

Many years later, my 18 year old daughter had to have a tonsillectomy. I was in the waiting room when the doctor came and told me, "she made quite a fuss, but she's in recovery" and someone would come for me soon and take me to her. And he promptly left the hospital. It was over an hour later that I finally stopped an orderly in the hallway and asked where my daughter was. He took me to her bed which was in a hallway, and where she was still bleeding from the surgery, and there was not a soul around, no one. She stared at me with frightened eyes, but she could not speak. I had to keep my hand over my mouth to stop myself from screaming.

We were taken upstairs to a room where they made me wait while they cleaned her up. When I finally got to her, she was crying and furious at the same time. She told me the anesthesia had worn off and she was trying to fend off the doctor because he was intent on pulling her tonsils out of her throat while she was trying to tell him that she could feel everything. He called that "a fuss" when he spoke to me.

They decided to keep her overnight and I planned to stay with her, but she told me to go home, as "what good are you anyway?" I was filled with guilt and grief over what had happened to her. I should have taken action much sooner than I did. They committed malpractice, but I was culpable too, I trusted she was being taken care of, but she wasn't.

I typed out the entire incident and took it to an attorney whom I knew, in fact, used to work for. He said as long as she was fine now, had no permanent injuries, there would be no way her word would be taken over the doctor and the staff and I should try to forget it and not take any action. What I heard was "she's not dead." I guess her emotional and mental anguish did not count, but I did not pursue it further. I don't think she has ever forgiven me for that incident and I don't blame her.

I was lucky, I did not lose my children. As for my girls' aunts, I suppose it was/is up to their families if they had/have any doubts about why their mothers came home from the hospital and died just days later.

The moral of the story is not to assume that these professionals know what they're doing or are paying attention. If one has any doubts, don't worry about being thought of as "uncooperative." Look after your loved one, no matter what.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

Melania — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:28:45 GMT

I am sorry you experienced that. It had to be very frightening.

In is so wrong.

I get your point that it can and does happen....why don't people get that and blame families/patients? Your examples show that.

Wait till it happens to them.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

JaneMarple — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:31:04 GMT

Thank God your daughter is ok, shame on the hospital and doctor. I hope the naysayers on the other thread read about your ordeal.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

JaneMarple — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:32:08 GMT

On 1/8/2014 Melania2 said:
I am sorry you experienced that. It had to be very frightening.

In is so wrong.

I get your point that it can and does happen....why don't people get that and blame families/patients? Your examples show that.

Wait till it happens to them.

You are so correct, cover ups happen every day.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

Topaz Gem — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:32:38 GMT

Ford, what happened to your family was so scary, but I'm happy that it turned out okay for you.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

QueenDanceALot — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:33:48 GMT

OMG, ford, what a nightmare.

The more stories I hear about doctors and hospitals, the more I want to steer clear of both.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

LilacTree — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:34:34 GMT

On 1/8/2014 Melania2 said:
I am sorry you experienced that. It had to be very frightening.

In is so wrong.

I get your point that it can and does happen....why don't people get that and blame families/patients? Your examples show that.

Wait till it happens to them.

One of my daughters has worked in hospitals for 16 years. She is not a medical professional, she is in the IT Department which runs their computer systems. But she hears a lot . . . news travels fast in these hospitals, especially bad news. There is a "closed mouth" policy, but they do talk among themselves. There are many incidents with unaware patients that never get reported to the families, let's just say that.

It is being said more and more, a hospital is not necessarily the safest place to be anymore. One has to be one's own advocate, if possible . . . or the family must know they have to be alert to what is going on at all times.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

happy2write4u — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:34:54 GMT

I agree with both of you. I was thinking of both of your words and it reminded me of something lately, which I just think is sad and tragic. I won't say,I haven't been on in awhile and I don't want to have your thread deleted. But, I do agree. It is almost like you have to have more knowledge at times than the professionals.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

QueenDanceALot — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:34:57 GMT

What about people who have no one looking out for them?

Very scary.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

Sushismom — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:35:40 GMT

I don't think anyone is denying mistakes happen in hospitals. And most have said if the hospital was at fault, they need to be held responsible.

However, the fact remains that only one side of this story has been told. That's the point many are trying to make.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

happy2write4u — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:36:13 GMT

Ford,

I am glad as well that everything worked out for you.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

brii — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:37:50 GMT

Ford, I'm so glad everything turned out okay.

Terrible things happen in hospitals every day. Sometimes it's the doctors and nurses that are at fault and sometimes the patients are at fault - sometimes it's nobody's fault.

The best we can do is be informed and speak up.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

JaneMarple — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:40:12 GMT

On 1/8/2014 Ford1224 said:
On 1/8/2014 Melania2 said:
I am sorry you experienced that. It had to be very frightening.

In is so wrong.

I get your point that it can and does happen....why don't people get that and blame families/patients? Your examples show that.

Wait till it happens to them.

One of my daughters has worked in hospitals for 16 years. She is not a medical professional, she is in the IT Department which runs their computer systems. But she hears a lot . . . news travels fast in these hospitals, especially bad news. There is a "closed mouth" policy, but they do talk among themselves. There are many incidents with unaware patients that never get reported to the families, let's just say that.

It is being said more and more, a hospital is not necessarily the safest place to be anymore. One has to be one's own advocate, if possible . . . or the family must know they have to be alert to what is going on at all times.

Ford I would like to ask a question that came up last night.

Do you think that with the modern technology of entering the patient's information in the computer that said information can be manipulated or falsisified?

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

biancardi — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:41:06 GMT

On 1/8/2014 Sushismom said:
I don't think anyone is denying mistakes happen in hospitals. And most have said if the hospital was at fault, they need to be held responsible.

However, the fact remains that only one side of this story has been told. That's the point many are trying to make.

ITA with everything you said...I believe everyone has stated that there needs to be an investigation

((((Ford)))) I am sorry to hear this. I have my own personal stories as well in the hospital, but I choose not to share them - however, I totally can relate to your experiences.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

SurvivedOne — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:43:54 GMT

Unless you have genuine proof anything was, is amiss, what is the point? Suggesting family members passed due to some sort of "professional" neglect, where is the proof? Do you really think the daughters would want this suggested while grieving? Most of us have been through several family members with ongoing terminal and/or progressive illnesses. As well as having bad things occur when they really shouldn't have. People pass when things suggest everything may be ok. I speak from experience. But I would never place any blame/and or responsibility on anyone unless I was a hundred percent sure it was warranted. Live your life in the present and be grateful you have your children.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

Marienkaefer2 — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:44:14 GMT

I'm very sorry for the grief and also the mistreatment/malpractice that your family suffered! Thank you for posting these experiences here. We have had similar situations, though not as severe as what your loved ones went.through.

What really struck me was your daughter's tonsillectomy experience.

I agree with you that, unfortunately, we cannot always assume that we can trust the "professionals."

But I just wanted to tell you..please don't blame yourself! You did the best you could at those that time!

As a result you know better, and you can remind is to know better, too.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

mgm2 — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:44:15 GMT

Ford, I'm so sorry for your experience with your daughter.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

sophiamarie — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:53:13 GMT

Actually, the tonsillectomy experience happened with one of my sons. The truth was, he was hallucinating and coming out of the anesthesia. Some come out of it very calm and others try to fight and say they are in pain, when they really arent...... I would hope there was an anesthesiologist besides the doctor there when the daughter was having her tonsils out, besides a couple of nurses??? I would also hope at least one of them would have known what was going on. JMO

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

LilacTree — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:53:32 GMT

On 1/8/2014 JaneMarple said:
On 1/8/2014 Ford1224 said:
On 1/8/2014 Melania2 said:
I am sorry you experienced that. It had to be very frightening.

In is so wrong.

I get your point that it can and does happen....why don't people get that and blame families/patients? Your examples show that.

Wait till it happens to them.

One of my daughters has worked in hospitals for 16 years. She is not a medical professional, she is in the IT Department which runs their computer systems. But she hears a lot . . . news travels fast in these hospitals, especially bad news. There is a "closed mouth" policy, but they do talk among themselves. There are many incidents with unaware patients that never get reported to the families, let's just say that.

It is being said more and more, a hospital is not necessarily the safest place to be anymore. One has to be one's own advocate, if possible . . . or the family must know they have to be alert to what is going on at all times.

Ford I would like to ask a question that came up last night.

Do you think that with the modern technology of entering the patient's information in the computer that said information can be manipulated or falsisified?

He*l*l, yes. Having headed up the computer department in a CPA firm for over 20 years,
absolutely no doubt.

Now, I must say I don't think it happens often, not an every day thing in the hospitals. If my daughter has ever encountered that, she has not told me, which is just as well.

Re: Relating to another thread on this BB . . .

sidsmom — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 21:54:23 GMT

...lots of blame. The doctor, the hospital, the attorney...even yourself for not pursuing. At the end of the day, you're the one that has to look in the mirror. I thought the love of a mother for her child was unwavering. Why was there a disconnect this time?