topic Re: Trip To The Cemetery in Community Chat

Trip To The Cemetery

Jordan2 — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 00:06:35 GMT

Today was a glorious day, my nephew drove his mother ( my sister) and me to the cemetery to visit my mom, dad, and brother. My nephew is such a good guy, he adored his grandmother. It takes so long traveling back and forth, the visit is so short. I always want to go when my sister goes to the cemetery but I always feel so sad after. I think it's just having the headstone right in front of your face it brings all the memories of the illness and death back. You might think I'm crazy but I talk to them. My brother was a big Mets fan, I told him how well they were doing and wished he was here to see it. I hope he has the best seat in the house.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

DSD2 — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 00:16:33 GMT

Your opening sentence that "today was a glorious day" showed your love and devotion to your family.

A gravesite is a reminder that our loved ones are no longer with us physically so it is natural that you feel sadness. It evokes memories of their struggles and their passing. But spiritually and emotionally, they live on in our minds and hearts.

I think it is lovely that you talk with your family, reminiscing and updating them on who and what they loved. Angels walk among us as do our loved ones spirits. I have no doubt they were with you and that they love and miss you very much.

And your nephew sounds like a wonderful person. I'm sure all your loved ones are very proud.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

colleena — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 00:17:03 GMT

@Jordan2 My trip to the cemetery is similar to yours - love it but it really brings back memories. So glad I had the time w/each & everyone.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

IMW — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 00:19:11 GMT

I don't think you're crazy at all. I talk to my parents daily--death does not end a relationship. Not for me, it gives great succor.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

Franklinbell — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 00:30:10 GMT

I talk to my parents also! If I am troubled it gives me great comfort. I'm sending you and everyone responding to the post big hug!

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

happilyretiredgirl — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 00:39:29 GMT

@Jordan2 I totally understand your feeling but it so nice to visit, I have a lot of close family that I visit often at the cemetery and I always put flowers on their graves for all holidays. Don't even think you are crazy for talking to them, I do the same often and my time with them is usually a nice night when I sat on my deck and look at the sky and see the beautiful stars, I will pick a star for each family member and tell them I miss them and I love them.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

AuntG — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 00:47:31 GMT

When I dust their wedding pucture, I sing the Camp Granada song to them - "hello muddah, hello fadduh". I'm sure they appreciate it😇.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

twinsister — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 00:53:05 GMT

Visiting my parents at the cemetery is comforting, but also makes me teary eyed. It brings back happy memories and sad ones too. I talk to them every day, so I don't think you are crazy.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

Franklinbell — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 01:03:05 GMT

@AuntG @That's just too cute! That made me smile! Thank you for sharing!

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

Susan345 — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 01:20:01 GMT

So many times I hear "they are not there I never go". But my family are cemetery people. when I was a kid and my Mother and Grandmother were still alive we went almost every week to visit and water the flowers.

And today my brother is keeping the tradition alive. He goes almost every week to water and check on the graves at 3 cemeteries. Mother must be so proud and is smiling down on him. One of the things she worried about was "who will do this when I am gone".

I do not go very often myself because it is a 2 hour trip for me. And he says that I get in the way and spend too much time fixing things on graves that look like they need attention.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

pieman — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 01:20:19 GMT

Aww, you bet he's on the first base line... : )

I talk to my folks everday and night.

I have their beautiful wedding photo above my white fireplace surrounded by green palms.. (I live in Florida)

I tell them good morning and tell them I hope they have a great day!

Then at night, I say good night, and hope they had a beautiful day..

Its not crazy to speak to them, it keeps them with us .....

Have a great weekend!

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

781Florist — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 05:06:08 GMT

@Jordan2 What a beautiful post. I am so happy to see that so many others visit the cemetery and talk with their loved ones. I know some people who think it is crazy to go because they are not there, but it still serves as THE PLACE that one can physically be

and feel as though you are honoring them through the simple act and effort of dedicating time to those who rest there.

When my sister died from breast cancer it was the first time(and so far only, thank God!) experiencing the loss of a sibling. She had lived downstairs from us and I would often pop in for coffee and conversation with her. Shortly after her burial I visited her and brought her a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee, 2 cream 2 sugar. Poured it right out as I was sipping and chatting.

Your brother the Met fan has the best seat in the house now for any game...home or away! When the Red Sox won the World Series in 2004 for the first time in 86 years, the

Boston Globe had pictures of local cemeteries with all the gravesites festooned with Sox pennants and hats many with notes to Dad or Grandpa saying HEY!! WE DID IT!!

I hope you get to bring a pennant to your brother this October.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

ciao_bella — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 11:42:13 GMT

I feel it's a memorable, peaceful and healthy connection to those we love and who are no longer with us. I have a beautiful picture of my mother on a table in the living room. Whenever I'm in that room I find myself talking or chatting with mom. Just the other day, I was vacuuming and I looked up at her picture, smiled and said, "I know, I know, mom, make sure you do a good job getting in the corners with the vacuum, as she would always say when I was doing chores. I find those little memorable chats with mom so endearing and they give me a sense of peace and tranquility. I always end my brief chat with her with an "I love you mom."

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

Carolina925 — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 12:44:39 GMT

My mother always took us to visit the cemetery so I don't think it's strange at all. I didn't know any of my grandparents but visit their gravesites often, about an hour away from here, and make sure they always have flowers on their graves. My mother did that and I have carried on her tradition.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

qualitygal — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 13:02:18 GMT

I look at this a tad differently, but totally understand. I talk to those we've lost too, only I do it anytime I want to. Mostly at home or in the car. I know they won't be at the cemetary if I were to go there and I know I'd only feel worse going there. I only do it now and then and mostly if something has upset me. I feel they can hear us. Anyway, that makes me feel better.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

Desert Lily — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 13:21:20 GMT

My parents are buried in a Veterans' memorial cemetery. Family and friends that visit have often brought wind chimes with them and left them on the tree branches. I can't describe the sound when there's a breeze, but maybe somber, beautiful, spiritual. To me, the soft chimes remind those that have passed that a part of their loved ones are always nearby.

I talk to my parents at home but not at the cemetery.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

OKPrincess — Sat, 13 Aug 2022 13:31:39 GMT

Cemetery visits are a source of comfort to me.

This is the last place I saw my loved ones' physical body so this is why I still go.

Looking at the dates on their headstones and taking a walk down memory lane in my mind.. Every headstone has a story.

Without hesitation, I know my loved ones are in heaven and I will be reunited with them one day. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

Kalli — Sun, 14 Aug 2022 02:14:45 GMT

I talk to my parents often. When sis and I visit the cemetery we clean off the headstone and put a wreath there.

Even though I married at 23, I moved only 20 minutes from Mom and Dad so I saw them often. When my children came along, they spent tons of time with them, taking them camping, hiking, swimming, going on trips. When my sons went off to college I continued going to my parents' home almost every Sunday for breakfast and coffee.

I miss them terribly. I wish I'd understood that their time was limited but I just never thought of what it would be like when they were gone. I guess the truth is, no matter how much time I spent with them, it was never going to be enough.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

ID2 — Sun, 14 Aug 2022 09:32:54 GMT

I don't have to go to the cemetary to speak to my parents. I have sprinkled their ashes around my lakehouse here where I live. They have a beautiful view for all eternity and are always with me.

Re: Trip To The Cemetery

CalminHeart — Sun, 14 Aug 2022 10:27:46 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
Today was a glorious day, my nephew drove his mother ( my sister) and me to the cemetery to visit my mom, dad, and brother. My nephew is such a good guy, he adored his grandmother. It takes so long traveling back and forth, the visit is so short. I always want to go when my sister goes to the cemetery but I always feel so sad after. I think it's just having the headstone right in front of your face it brings all the memories of the illness and death back. You might think I'm crazy but I talk to them. My brother was a big Mets fan, I told him how well they were doing and wished he was here to see it. I hope he has the best seat in the house.

It's not crazy. Thanksgiving will mark 5 years since Mom passed and I talk to her all the time whether or not I'm at the cemetery. I walk my dog in the cemetery and always stop to say hi or talk to Mom. It's a beautiful cemetery and has lots of different birds, deer, coyote, ducks, geese, etc which makes for a great walk with my dog.