topic Re: A Friend passed away last week and in Community Chat

A Friend passed away last week and

Zhills — Mon, 02 May 2022 15:59:30 GMT

they had no service and not even an obituary on the internet.

Is this common today?

I understand "no service" but no obituary???

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

geezerette — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:01:42 GMT

I don't think it's "common", at least it doesn't appear to be in my area.

However, my husband requested "nothing" and that's what he got. No service, no obituary--nothing.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

ValuSkr — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:06:40 GMT

I think it's okay. Some people are private and prefer no hoopla. And some families have better things on which to spend $$$. ... No criticism from this corner!

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

depglass — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:08:22 GMT

It is very common in our area. Deaths are reported by word of mouth. A small community church lost 7 people due to Covid and not one of them showed up in the paper.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Love my grandkids — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:10:04 GMT

@Zhills An obit is not as common as it was many years ago. When my late DH died as a retired AF officer he was entitled to a military funeral but told me years ago: No service, no obit. He was cremated per his wishes. All who knew and loved him knew of his death and had been in touch during life. No need to advertise to strangers or people who had been out of touch for years.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

deepwaterdotter — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:10:20 GMT

My husband and I have included in our wills instructions for no services or obituary. We have always been very private people.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Bri369 — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:11:45 GMT

I think they are becoming less common.

The last 2 people we knew that passed away did not have an online obituary. I don't feel the need to have that information posted personally.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Kachina624 — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:12:13 GMT

Its common in my family. Neither of my parents wanted an obituary or service of any kind. They had a ton of friends here over the years but at their advanced ages, nobody was left. I was their only relative here. I think many people, especially those who move for retirement, are in the same situation so it has become increasingly common.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Susan345 — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:15:53 GMT

I have a friend from high school that reconnected on facebook. Apparently last year her husband died. She made no mention of it on line and there was no obituary of any kind to be found.

The only reason I know is because of comments that she and others made on line.

I have no idea why and have not questioned her about it publicly.

My Mother always said that funeral services and wakes were for the living. One person she knew took her advice and later thanked her because having others around sharing their memories was such a comfort to her.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

beckyb1012 — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:18:39 GMT

Most people do have an obit but they are pricey. My brother's that I did last year was very simple and not long at all. It was just under $200.00 for basically two paragraphs. May be they will do one a bit later than just after the death.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

shoptilyadropagain — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:26:44 GMT

I think no service and no obits are becoming more common all the time. A friend from these boards passed away a couple of months ago and another friend from here and I could never locate an obituary online (even looking at various funeral homes in her area). I also think cost is becoming a factor. Like everything else, those costs are going up. When my dad passed about 6 years ago, our funeral director told us that having it in the newspaper is very costly (forget the amount) so we opted to just publish it in our local paper.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Elodie2 — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:27:23 GMT

There's a steady stream of obituaries in our local paper, particularly on Sunday. What I've found is that obituaries now read like biographies. I generally skim through them. I notably recall a man who wrote his own and was quite intentionally humorous.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Sooner — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:28:52 GMT

I think it depends on what anyone left wants to do, and is different for every peson and situation.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

JamandBread — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:32:18 GMT

Obituaries are very costly. I've just been through this with a family member. To have any detail in the obit was going to cost over a thousand dollars just for the local paper.
We decided to publish the name, with a link to the obituary which was hosted by the funeral home's website. All the details, family members names, etc could be found through the link.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Jk9 — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:35:52 GMT

I am seeing it more in my area (upper SC). Have several relatives who didn't want an obit or services and know several other people who felt the same.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Mindy D — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:38:02 GMT

It's very common.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Zhills — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:47:10 GMT

When my Dad dies, the funeral director told us that the funeral home put "death notices" in the paper and family usually put (and paid for) the obituary!

Guess times have changed!

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

ID2 — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:51:59 GMT

My dh and I were just disscussing this. My wishes have always been that I don't want a wake or anything. Creamate me and scatter my ashes in our lake. My kids are to go out and have a great dinner in my memory. That's it.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Kardi — Mon, 02 May 2022 16:54:54 GMT

When my dad died years ago, my mother had a conventional funeral. My dad always said "save the money, cremate me." She couldn't imagine anything but a wake and burial. When my mom passed a few years back we arranged a very conventional funeral. It cost about $10,000.00. My siblings and I all said at that point that we wanted nothing when we go. I think it's becoming common to have no hoopla.

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

hckynutjohn — Mon, 02 May 2022 17:22:37 GMT

@Zhills wrote:
they had no service and not even an obituary on the internet.

Is this common today?

I understand "no service" but no obituary???

@Zhills

From my experiences over the years, I have found it not to be uncommon. Why? I figure it was not my business and did not ask.

hckynut 🇺🇸