topic Re: Are You Happy in Community Chat

Are You Happy

Jordan2 — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 23:36:54 GMT

I was just wondering how many here are truly happy? I'm not happy, my life didn't turn out as I thought it might. I do take ownership, I know I'm not living my best life, I'm surviving not thriving. There were times in my life that were better than they are now, I just didn't realize then that was as good as it was going to get.

Re: Are You Happy

deepwaterdotter — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 23:42:03 GMT

I feel that I am as 'happy' as I allow myself to be. My mother told me that "you make your own happiness".

Re: Are You Happy

chickenbutt — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 23:43:13 GMT

I'm so sorry you're struggling!

No, I'm not happy. Most of the time I'm just keeping my head barely above the water. No power and no choices. Like you, just surviving.

Wishing you the best.

Re: Are You Happy

Sooner — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 23:44:06 GMT

Times are difficult, and I am happy that I have faith to keep me going.

Re: Are You Happy

Luvsmyfam — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 23:45:19 GMT

@Jordan2 I think we have all thought that way from time to time,you are no different.I know in my life,there are a lot of people worse off .I too,have complained about my situations,but somehowI manage to pull thru,and always thanked the almighty up above.Hang in there

Re: Are You Happy

kaydee50 — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 23:48:39 GMT

IMO being "happy" is a choice. We can choose to focus on the positive or focus on the negative. It is up to each of us.

Re: Are You Happy

Citrine1 — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 00:01:47 GMT

I'm content. I try not to focus on what could have been or what should have been. Like you, @Jordan2 , I take ownership of the things I did or didn't do. I don't blame anyone but myself for the way my life is. I try to stay positive and accept that this is my life. And I am truly grateful for the things I have.

Re: Are You Happy

Rose429 — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 00:02:58 GMT

@Jordan2 @I respect you for asking this question. Being happy is not always a personal choice. That's like saying you choose to be depressed. I am not the happiest person either. The things that do bring me pleasure are my kids (grown and busy so not very available) my dog (honestly scares me to think about when she is gone and how I will cope) a good book and a good tv show. I find it a daily struggle to be upbeat and I am very aware that others have it worse, but thinking about that makes me feel ashamed of myself for not being stronger.

Re: Are You Happy

JeanLouiseFinch — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 00:39:40 GMT

I am happy in my simple life. That's not to say it's been a bed of roses. We've had our share of obstacles, disappointments, and even some big deal crisis, tragedies, and medical stuff. By the grace of God, we got through them.

Re: Are You Happy

SilleeMee — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 00:17:18 GMT

I could be happier if things in the world were better. Money does buy happiness to a certain point and my shrinking bank account, from the inflation, is making me very unhappy at the present time. I hope to see better days soon.

Re: Are You Happy

spiderw — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 00:26:18 GMT

That is a question that is interesting and also needs much thought. I am happy because I have a wonderful family and many supportive close long term friends. I have my own home, a car and am comfortable financially.

Of course with that being said I also realize I have had my share of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, loss of family members and friends. There have been obstacle and decisions I regret. I stress and worry.

When I am feeling sorry for myself, I think of all the people who are suffering, have very little, struggle and I realize how fortunate I am in many ways. Happiness comes and goes in my life, that is the bottom line.

Re: Are You Happy

Mom2Dogs — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 00:28:42 GMT

I am happy, but I guess I could be happier. I really miss being busier with friends and having more things to do.

I think the slow down came slowly and it just recently hit me how much I miss the busy period of my life.

Several good friends have moved after retirement and that left me with no one to lunch with or run around with. My BFF winters in Florida, she will be home in April, which will be nice. Finding new friends as you age is not that easy.

Re: Are You Happy

sometimesQVCaddict — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 00:31:45 GMT

Life is what you make of it! You can dwell on the doom & gloom or find inner peace & focus on the positive. Not saying I haven't had very down times due to certain personal life events, but I try my best each time that's happened to work my way out of the funk. I choose happiness whenever possible! And am grateful for the things in my life that make me truly happy & fulfilled! Focus on the positive in life!

Re: Are You Happy

Porcelain — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 00:32:40 GMT

I am sorry that you are not happy, @Jordan2. You sound disappointed and stuck. That is such a hard way to feel and I have felt that way too before. It's perfectly okay to not live your best life. You don't owe that to anyone. You set the standards for your life and it's perfectly okay, recommended even, to lower your standards and ambitions to fit the circumstances.

The worst part of feeling low, in my opinion, is feeling bad about feeling low. And the worst part of not doing what you think you should be doing--is feeling bad and guilty and shameful about it.

When your inner motivator starts yelling at you, it's like you have no allies at all at that point. And then feeling bad about feeling bad. And feeling bad about feeling bad about feeling bad. And so on and so on. It's a spiral. We have all been there. It does stop. Not sure what stops it, but it does stop.

Re: Are You Happy

Porcelain — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 01:44:53 GMT

To answer the question, yes I am very happy. I appreciate and revel in everything wonderful in my life. Hasn't steered me wrong yet.

(Edited to add: I'm not implying the inverse or blaming anyone who is unhappy for their own unhappiness. If it were easy to flip a switch and feel great again, everyone would have already done it. And I am not more worthy of happiness at all. Just very very lucky.

If I could hand around imaginary (cruelty-free of course) rabbits feet to everyone to make them lucky too, I would do it in a heartbeat. And not just lucky, lucky forever. Many of us have been lucky for a time, and then somehow it seems we lost it. There is great mourning for happiness lost.)

Re: Are You Happy

Goodie2shoes — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 00:35:55 GMT

Very good question ! I can't say I am happy with my love life but I am alive and well, blessed in so many ways so I am happy in that sense. I have made mistakes in my life but I have 2 wonderful children and 2 grandsons and they love me very much and that makes me happy. I don't have money worries, live well and I can buy what I need to live a comfortable life so that makes me happy as well. I am to blessed to be stressed.

Re: Are You Happy

justashopper — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 00:59:23 GMT

Hi @Jordan2

I am sorry. it takes a lot of courage to admit you aren't happy. But maybe that can motivate you to make some changes.

I will admit. Yes. I am happy. My life is far from perfect. So please don't think that is what I am saying. But I love what I do have going for me.

I get down. When something doesn't go my way or if I suffer some kind of disappointment. And this will make some roll their eyes (and I don't care). I look for the good in the bad. The opportunity in the set back. And I always have.

it isn't cliche or whatever -- I make myself happy through my appreciation and humility. Some people say, why me? when bad things happen. Why not me? Bad things do happen and sometimes it's all I can do but pull the covers over my head, but it too will pass.

I do believe joy is a choice. And the acceptance of that comes more easily to some than others. I have always been a happy person. And people have always asked me about it. And I always say the same thing-- I choose to be happy. I am alive and whatever happens I know I can get myself through it. And when I am gone, I am gone. The cares of this world won't bother me then either. LOL. I guess. I mean who really knows!

Re: Are You Happy

Frenchlop — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 01:04:31 GMT

I hope it's ok to say this, I have had depression throughout my life. It started in my 20's, has gotten worse as I've gotten older. Some days are really good and I'm happy, others, not so much. Sometimes just reading and commenting here helps!

Re: Are You Happy

Pook — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 01:15:29 GMT

Yes I am happy. I am an optimist and know there are some things that happen that I cannot change so I readjust and do not expect happiness to find me if I am always boo hooing. We are all responsible for our own happiness. I know many who would not be happy no matter what. Also, some of the happiest people I know have had some of the most tragic things happen to them and have many health issues.

Re: Are You Happy

ThinkingOutLoud — Wed, 23 Feb 2022 01:15:50 GMT

I could easily make a list of the things in my life that are not as I'd like but when I consider what I do have, the gratitude I feel far outweighs any unhappiness. I also know that the unpleasant part is just temporary and there's so much to look forward to.