topic Re: Changes in Community Chat

Changes

Annabellethecat66 — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 20:30:51 GMT

OMG! Within the last few months so many people in my life are leaving or retiring.

I couldn't decide where to put this post because the people retiring are from different parts of my life.

I will admit I HATE change.

I just found out yesterday that suddenly my Vet is retiring at the end of December. He has seen me through the death of my husband and too many cats to list here.

When my husband died sp quickly just a few days later I had to take my cat Penelope to him.

I walked in to the Vet's office and busted out in tears. This man I'd entrusted my beloved cats to grabbed me and hugged me.

He'd heard about my husband because his nurse is my friend. We had a nice talk. He told me about the time my husband had to bring in one of our cats. He had a lot of kind words to say. Our relationship goes back to more than 25 years.

About 2 weeks ago I got a phone call from my thyroid Drs office. He's retiring effective this month. The office manager informed me that I was to be one of the last patience to see him.

I told them I wanted all of my records. She said "That's a lot of paperwork." I told her when I get a new thyroid Dr and he says, "Why did you have to have your thyroid removed?" I wanted him to see what the previous Dr suspected; not just me saying, "Three samples came back 'undetermined' for cancer."

Every time I go to him, he takes 5 vials of blood. I want the new Dr to have my complete history. I consider it to be $100 well spent.

Last week my daughter (who handles my companie's and mine taxes) said she'd received a letter from the accountant's senior member will be retiring effective December this year.

But I haven't finished! 😳

This same daughter and I received a call two weeks ago that the stock broker that handles our investments was changing companies that same day! He was a friend of the family. We were totally shocked. We needed to decide if we were going to follow him to the new company or stay where we are.

The Dr who replaced both of my knees at the same time retired immediately after he replaced them. They didn't heal quickly. I had to keep going back to have him look at the incisions. He'd say, "You need to heal these up. I'm staying here until your incisions are healed".

So there you have it. I'm paranoid that some of my other Drs would be leaving.

I'm happy for those who are retiring. Likewise for those changing jobs. I know the reasons for those changing companies. With that in mind, I think they will be happy in their new jobs.

I do feel some sadness for those around these people because I know this will affect their lives too, not necessarily in a good way.

But so is life. Full of changes. I usually stay with my same Drs and others who help make my life move smoothly.

I almost forgot to mention the dear gentleman who handled my health insurance. For years I'd give him a list of my Drs and medications and he'd tell me which insurance company to go to. A few times it wasn't a company he represented. He just say, "This company fits you best". Then he put the paperwork in front of me (I'd go to his house) and sign it. I'd walk away feeling grateful for having him in my life.

He died from Covid. But even then he told his wife the name and number of another insurance agent he felt like who'd do right by us (his clients).

I am sure some of you have experienced similar departures from people you've done business with for a long time.

I'm a person who doesn't mind paying for services from others. I believe in telling them I appreciate and acknowledge the work and advice they do for me.

Next month I turn 75. My oldest daughter just recently said to me that she doesn't think she'll live past 57 (she's now 47).

Now normally (and because I'm very superstitious) her words would have caused me to have nightmares.

However, immediately I remembered way way back over the years to thinking similarly.

I NEVER thought I'd live to be 75 years old. But next month...that's exactly what I'll be.

You know when I think of the human body and all the things that can go wrong with it. I also think of how amazing it is. The way it heals itself. The ability to keep going even when we feel like 'Why bother'.

But I am so grateful that I've never feared death. That's freeing.

God did a darn good job building the human body. But I think the best 2 things he did was giving us the ability to love and to have empathy for others.

Comments on changes from people in your life is appreciated. Thanks ahead of time. I love reading about you guys.

Or as my youngest daughter calls you all, "My QVC ladies".

Re: Changes

Vivian — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 20:48:38 GMT

Annabellethecat, I too will be turning 75, in the first week of 2022. Like you, I have seen the retirement of many of my doctors, whom I've seen for 30-40 years. Most of their replacements are younger than my kids. I've also seen the retirement of my dentist, the surgeon who removed my melanoma, my insurance agent, my accountant, even my cleaning lady. I did find nice young doctors because I do not want to go through this again. I know my gerontologist will retire soon. It's very hard to replace them so I started investigating.

Re: Changes

hennypenny — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 20:49:39 GMT

We are going through the same thing. The people who we have trusted us all these years and in some cases befriended are retiring and I feel like we are spinning in the wind.

The whole world is goofy and I am not so quick to trust as before.

Hard to find people to take over at this late stage. I am about your age.

Re: Changes

Shelbelle — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 20:49:46 GMT

I am right there with you, no one hates changes more than I do, except maybe my late dear mother!!

Our dentist is retiring, but he has a partner that we will be happy to stick with, at least for now.

Re: Changes

hckynutjohn — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 21:06:16 GMT

@Annabellethecat66

I certainly can personally relate to many things you mentioned in your post. To keep my post from becoming another novella, I won't list them.

My age is several years your elder. I pretty much have not paid much attention to my Chronological age. The exceptions were 16, to get my drivers license, and 25, so my Auto Insurance would be cut by 90%. Back then it was: "no family member driving/under 25/and not married" criteria, not my clean driving record that counted for $$$$ paid.

My goal is/has been, and still remains, my Physiological and Psychological age. Chronological years mean zip to me, and other than the 2 mentioned, never have been of any importance.

Right now I am pretty much living my type of life. How ever many years I am able to do so is my goal. Adding just numbers, along with the many things you have mentioned, I see no reason why high Chronological numbers would be a goal.

My belief is and has always been in these 2 sayings and my mom did not agree:

"Man was born to live, not prepare for life".

"It is not the years in my life, but the life in my years".

hckynut

Re: Changes

Leeny — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 21:22:18 GMT

@Annabellethecat66

I can totally relate with you on this subject. I've had to change my dentist, my primary doctor and my dermatologist all within the same year. Plus getting a new Pastor and a new nephrologist. I just felt since I am getting older, my doctors that I started out with were older than I; would not practice for ever. Change is hard and as we age we don't like it and we don't have to, but life does go on. You will do OK. Remember 1 day at a time. That's my motto. Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will take care of itself.

Re: Changes

bmorechick — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 21:40:10 GMT

According to Erikson's theory, those of us 65 and older are in Stage 8...Integrity vs. Despair (of the final psychosocial stage) of life. Reflection on our life and widsom gained.

I remember when I was in my 30's, my dad talking about this person retired at work, this person died, etc. when he was my age (66). My mom was always talking about this friend's mom died, this cousin died (she was always in funeral homes). They also lamented over favorite physician's retiring, dentists, eye doctors and having to start over. But, they knew they had to go with the one constant in life...change.

My dad NEVER thought he would live to be 95 and here he is. Talk about folks exiting the planet from your circle. He's the only one left and he's as heathy and strong as an ox. His doc calls him the "original man of steel." And yes, if you treat it well, the human body is an amazing machine.

I know sitting here doing stuff like this will change. Where I live as I age, if I am fortunate enough to live independently like my dad (and all his family who lived to be late 90's-100), what my three adult children will be doing and my grandbabies alll will change in a matter of a blip.

I am still working because I like it. Most of my peers are 15-20 years younger than me and it definitely keeps me young. It also gives me more in common with my kids, talking about work. My daughter who is 41 keeps me in shape by encouraging me to continue running and working out. I need my body to stay as young and healthy as possible.

I only hope that as all of us here and everywhere have people in your life that you love as you embark on this journey. Doesn't matter who it is as long as they are loyal, true, gracious, loving, non-judgmental and are there when you need someone.

Re: Changes

MOMMAVik — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 21:42:06 GMT

Unfortunately we can't control all the changes we will face in our lives. I just try to think about options I have & also that if I am not happy or satisfied with new choices I had to make I'll change again.

I try to be happy & thankful each day, even if I have to stretch my imagination!

Be well @Annabellethecat66💕
I enjoy reading your posts.

Re: Changes

MOMMAVik — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 21:48:49 GMT

Re: Changes

SilleeMee — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 21:59:11 GMT

I'm glad that at least one of my doctors has retired. The last time I had an appointment with that doctor he had to use his stethoscope to hear what I was saying. I also noticed that he was wearing trifocal glasses plus using a magnified visor to see me. I wasn't feeling too sure about being there...let me tell you.

Re: Changes

SharkE — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 22:19:16 GMT

I had a dead husband who died in 2 hrs after going to hospital, then,

when I had a back yard full of water with the sprinkler system going haywire. Electrical problem. Called the guy and he told me he was to busy , can't get nobody to work, etc. So, had to find another outfit to handle that,

Then, my handyman called and said he was striking out on his own and couldn't be working for me any more, so, was stuck with trying to find another fix it man after this guy decided he didn't want to make the trip any more. He knew my husband had just had a heart attack and didn't care left me up the creek.

Phone started ringing people wanting to know if they could buy my house ! Husband wasn't cold yet and they're wanting to carpet bag my house.

Re: Changes

Annabellethecat66 — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 23:51:57 GMT

I saw the thyroid Dr's retirement coming. But talking to the people in the office, it was obvious THEY didn't see it coming.

The administrator still looked like a deer in headlights...it was obvious she was still surprised. She even said (paraphrasing) 'It was so sudden, she hasn't had time to figure out what she was going to do.

It always seems sad when I talk to someone who's life changes so quickly (like loosing a job) and they're in their late 50's or 60's. It's more difficult to find a job at that age.

My ortho Dr's PA has a husband who took off 1 & 1/2 years to care for his father who had Alzheimer's. After his Dad died he had a very difficult time finding a job.

Here wcas a 52 year old man who had amazing skills as well as a Master's degree and all he heard was that he was overqualified. He eventually found a job. However, he had to work his way back up the chain.

This country, unfortunately, rather than give kudos to those of a certain age ...and respect and appreciate the knowledge they bring with age...are often told too qualified.

This country worships youth. The more I meet people from other countries and hear them talk with reverence about the 'old-timers in their family; it makes me painfully aware at how we dread getting. Whereas, in other countries the parents and grandparents live with the younger family members.

From what I remember and actually lived, there was a time when the matriarchs in the family were...well..part of the family.

I was raised from the time I was 3 months old by my Dad, his mother and his maiden sister. I can't remember a time when my grandma wasn't old. Same thing with my Aunt (her daughter).

That's enough. Thanks for those who responded to my previous post.

I live my life believing everyone has a story to tell. It is only by sharing that we learn from others.

Sometimes we might wonder "Is anyone listening? Does anyone care?"

But here's what I do know. I know people do care. People can and will help. But they can't unless the story is brought out from darkness to the light.

This is a difficult time of year for some people. If any of you think you know someone who needs help of any kind, sometimes even listening helps.

Re: Changes

SoonerLater — Sun, 14 Nov 2021 14:54:44 GMT

It's calling getting old. My family is long gone, friends are gone, and professionals have mostly died too. It's just life.

My husband and I are still together, thank God every day for that.

And now you can't get anybody to work. Seems that is a concept that is no longer relevant in the U.S.A.