topic Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges? in Community Chat

Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

Duckncover — Tue, 26 Oct 2021 21:16:15 GMT

We have been invited to have dinnner on Thanksgiving Day with a couple we know from church. Their kids and grandkids will be on a ski trip so they will be alone. We will also be without family this year due to everyone relocating or traveling. DH likes the couple and quickly accepted the invitation when the husband called. The wife called yesterday and said he had forgotten to tell us we would need to pay $25 each to help with the cost of the food since she was going to order it from a restaurant instead of cooking. I am appalled. I would never invite someone as a guest and then charge them for the food. I guess we are stuck. I offered to bring some food but she was adamant that I don't bring anything since we are their guests.Have you ever heard of such a thing?

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

Mom2Dogs — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:41:42 GMT

Oh my...I have never heard of anything like you describe!! You could cancel and tell them you will provide dessert and go to their home AFTER dinner.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

mizree — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:42:10 GMT

@Duckncover look at it this way, you need not feel obligated to return the invite since you are paying for your meal.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

CelticCrafter — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:42:28 GMT

Guests?

Don't bring anything because you're their guests but oh btw bring cash to pay for your dinner.

I would find any excuse under the sun to cancel that invite now.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

catter70 — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:49:04 GMT

Nope, never have heard that one before. Seems kind of rude to me.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

MG Chris — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:49:04 GMT

I would be canceling pretty quickly.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

manny2 — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:49:08 GMT

It could have and should have been handled different. They should have called and said since we are both alone lets chip in, and order dinner out. We can have it at my house.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

Duckncover — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:50:33 GMT

It isn't like we don't have the money..but a " guest" doesn't pay for their meal where I come from. I think she is probably wanting to order more food than necessary.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

SXMGirl — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:50:38 GMT

@Duckncover Cancel now. If you need an excuse, tell her that something has come up or that DH did not know that you had made prior arrangements. When invited to dinner at someone's home, you should not expect to pay for dinner. If you go, make sure that the two of you eat $50 worth of food, because she may not let you bring home leftovers or dessert.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

BlueFinch — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:52:43 GMT

NO! If there was going to be a fee, the plans needed to be discussed. Like, if we get together, would you be willing to pitch in for the cost of the meal, so no one has to cook? Not a call later that you NEED to pay $25. per head ... LOL.

In all my life, I have never invited people for holiday meals, or special occasions expecting them to pay anything. I also never asked them to bring anything. Of course, they usually did, which I always appreciated.

Even when my DH was alive and we invited friends to a special restaurant for an event, we would even pick up the tab for the group. My feeling is, don't invite, unless messages are very clear at the get-go. It's poor etiquette, otherwise.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

Love my grandkids — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:53:35 GMT

@Duckncover I would definitely cancel and tell her exactly WHY. This was not part of the original invitation and therefore we will not be paying nor will we be coming.

This was just RUDE beyond belief. Shame on them.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

ThinkingOutLoud — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:56:13 GMT

I've never heard of this and it is a bit odd. However, a few thoughts:

~ Wouldn't you normally be spending $ to buy the dinner items? So it's not like you're out the money.

~ She's saving you a lot of time since you no longer have to prep/cook.

~ Maybe having you help pay wasn't the original idea but when she found out how much it would be because of inflation, this was better than disinviting you.

~ Just make sure you can bring home leftovers.

~ Bow out and volunteer to help with the meal at a local shelter instead.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

QVCkitty1 — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:59:38 GMT

If money is to be collected it should be stated out front, then you can make an informed decision.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

Othereeeen — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 21:11:43 GMT

If you DO go, don't be surprised if there's a collection can in the bathroom for 25 cents each square of TP used.....and o yes.. a cute little sign ..."you are being watched".....( as you look up and see the little camera blinking and counting!!!!)....

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

4kitties — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 21:13:20 GMT

Hard to say what I would do in this situation, it would depend on if I truly liked this couple and wanted to do the holiday with them or not. If I had to pay $50.00, I would make sure half of the leftovers go home with me. Maybe they are having financial difficulties or have low incomes????

I have never heard of charging guests. Asking someone to bring a dessert or side dish, but never asking for money.

If I did not want to pay or go, I would tell them your family situation had changed and you can no longer go to their house to eat dinner.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

Krimpette — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 21:25:26 GMT

I think I'd have to find a way to cancel. I don't think I could enjoy myself under the circumstances.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

Kachina624 — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 21:27:22 GMT

@Duckncover What do you mean you're stuck?? @Love my grandkids gave you the perfect solution. She even wrote the script for you. Now just do it!

@Love my grandkids wrote:
@Duckncover I would definitely cancel and tell her exactly WHY. This was not part of the original invitation and therefore we will not be paying nor will we be coming.

This was just RUDE beyond belief. Shame on them.

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

Emma Bunting — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 21:30:10 GMT

All I know is the service had better be impeccable if they want a good tip...........

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

SharkE — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 21:31:45 GMT

If any restaurants are open that day you would be paying that or more

No free lunch today ,kiddo's

Re: Thanksgiving Dinner charges?

wagirl — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 21:35:39 GMT

You know---I'm not sure it is rude or not. If you were cooking a whole dinner and invited another couple over, you would be paying alot more for everything plus your time and effort. Would you ask to be reimbursed for that? $25 a person sounds pretty reasonable to me for a whole dinner. Maybe it was the way it was presented to your hubby. And maybe she is providing appetizers and drinks? And you are not stuck at all--if this is so appalling, cancel. Not a big thing to me.