topic Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends? in Community Chat

Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

occasionalrain — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 22:36:56 GMT

During the long days of Covid lock down, many searched for former friends, neighbors, and co-workers. Upon finding them, some sent emails or contacted them through Facebook.

Did you send or receive a message from someone you used to know? Care to share?

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

Pandalady — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 22:52:05 GMT

DH and I ran into my best friend from high school many years ago. At first, I didn't even recognize her. It was nearly 20 years since I had seen her. She was divorced from her 1st husband (the only one I knew of). She was working on her 3rd marriage and had recently converted to his faith.

Well, I get a phone call from a clergyman from her church asking me to verify that her 1st husband abused her (this was so she could get an annulment keeping with the covenants of her new faith). Well, 20 years prior, this man treated her like a queen. I never saw anything like that. Of course, we never know what goes on behind closed doors. However, she gave my name as a reference. I politely told the clergyman that I hadn't seen her in 20 years, didn't know of the divorce, much less this new husband.

Of course, I never heard from her again. So, I say, good riddance. LOL Sometimes people are former friends for a reason.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

SandySparkles — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 22:52:16 GMT

It never occured to me.😊

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

chickenbutt — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 22:52:36 GMT

One thing that is a drag about how I don't remember a lot anymore, and have little retention ability, is that I actually cannot remember the names of any of my friends/coworkers from the past.

There are people who I knew for 10 years or more. Cannot remember a single name. I didn't used to be the person who forgets peoples' names. I only remember the name of one friend and coworker (John) but he's been dead for some time now. I don't remember his last name.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

homedecor1 — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 23:04:01 GMT

I haven't but my first "love" from jr high contacted me🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️Via messenger.

I didn't reply nor did I want to connect with him. Apparently, they have some way to search those you went to school with.

I have kept in touch with friends from my childhood neighborhood & elementary school which was the most fun times.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

Duckncover — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 23:06:01 GMT

I had two people contact me via FB after many years. One was the girl who lived next door to me when we were growing up. We basically grew up together. Had not heard from her since I went off to college and then moved out of state. Was so easy to lose touch with people back then, before cell phones and social media. Another high school friend contacted me via FB messenger and I have no idea how she knew who I was, I don't post personal info on my profile, ever, and my maiden name isn't on my profile either. I have had an old boyfriend contact me and have had to finally block him. He lives out of state fortunately. Creepy.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

hckynut — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 23:07:30 GMT

@occasionalrain

I have connected with some of my old friends. The virus had nothing to do with, much was via FB after my wife signed me up. I didn't know she did this until I got a "like", and had no idea what it even meant.

Haven't connected in person as many of them are now out of state. Have one of my older friends(88) coming back to town in September. He played in my adult hockey league for years. I see a great friend I have known since I was 8 years old, usually every week.

He too played in my adult hockey league and I see him ice skating on most Wednesday's public skating sessions. Our plans are for the 3 of us to get together in September when the oldest of us comes here from Arizona.

We are all 3 years apart in age from each other. Me the youngest at 82, then 85/88. My friend coming in isn't skating any more so we plan on maybe just coffee since none of us drink the other stuff.

Can't wait to see him. He left 10 years ago when he was still playing hockey at 78 in my adult league. He is a Japanese/American and he sure doesn't look his age. Please don't misconstrue me giving his heritage, we always joked with him about it and he enjoyed the banter.

Nice thread you started here @occasionalrain

hckynut

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

occasionalrain — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 23:13:01 GMT

@chickenbutt

I'm undecided whether that's a blessing or a curse.

Sometimes, I'll remember someone; I can see them in my head, but can't remember their name. I try to let it go, tell myself it is of no importance, but then like an ear worm, I'm trying to remember again.Finally, I go on a search of my year books to find them. During all this time wasted on a name of no consequence, I could have accomplished something that did matter, even if not much,

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

Duckncover — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 23:16:10 GMT

There are many websites that do yearbook searches by graduation year or name, so it is pretty easy to find people now. Maybe too easy. DH had a former employee from forty years ago call him one night....DH had fired him due to drinking on the job instead of working, plus a few other problems. The guy bragged that he was looking at our house on google maps....I didn't sleep for a week! Never heard from him again, thankfully. The truth is, anyone can find almost anybody now if they spend some time on the internet.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

hckynut — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 16:10:40 GMT

@chickenbutt wrote:
One thing that is a drag about how I don't remember a lot anymore, and have little retention ability, is that I actually cannot remember the names of any of my friends/coworkers from the past.

There are people who I knew for 10 years or more. Cannot remember a single name. I didn't used to be the person who forgets peoples' names. I only remember the name of one friend and coworker (John) but he's been dead for some time now. I don't remember his last name.

@chickenbutt

Might be a good thing not remembering some things in the past. Me? My long term memory is still fully intact. It's my short term memory that is not there, actually, not sure it ever was. Started writing notes to myself to remember things when I was a teen.

Guess if you can only remember that 1 name? It sounds very familiar to me. =^..^=

hckynut(john)

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

occasionalrain — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 23:19:48 GMT

@hckynut

Promise you'll return and tell us about the reunion. You'll have so many experiences to relive and lots of laughs.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

suzyQ3 — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 23:25:28 GMT

@Duckncover wrote:
There are many websites that do yearbook searches by graduation year or name, so it is pretty easy to find people now. Maybe too easy. DH had a former employee from forty years ago call him one night....DH had fired him due to drinking on the job instead of working, plus a few other problems. The guy bragged that he was looking at our house on google maps....I didn't sleep for a week! Never heard from him again, thankfully. The truth is, anyone can find almost anybody now if they spend some time on the internet.

@Duckncover, I bet he had decided to call after a few drinks. That is not uncommon.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

FrostyBabe1 — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 23:35:06 GMT

No. The thought never occured to me and I honestly can't think of anyone from my past that I'd want to re-connect with. The past is the past and I'm happy to let it stay there.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

Susan in California — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 23:45:07 GMT

I stayed connected to several friends of many decades.

My life-long friend passed away four years ago, and another is quite ill with cancer and Alzheimers. But another dear friend who is older than the others is doing quite well and we connect on the phone fairly often. She lives 100 miles from me, and we did see each other before the pandemic, but now it's on the phone.

Several nice friends I sort of lost interest in connecting with. There was no particular reason other than I felt the relationships had run their courses. Nothing negative or

untoward. One was a lovely neighbor who moved to a town about 150 miles north. We stayed connected for about 15-20 years, visiting and attending celebrations. It just sort of evolved into not too much in common anymore. I think that is just life.

I honestly don't have any desire to reconnect with old friends. I hope everyone is doing well, but I have lost

interest.

My husband has stayed connected to several friends from high school and he always loves reunions. He speaks at least once a week to a friend from high school, and I think they both enjoy these conversations a lot.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

Tinkrbl44 — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 00:29:07 GMT

@occasionalrain

I've been dwelling on my recent experiences ....

I have been looking for former friends and co-workers from my early days. I deliberately sought out 4 people I really enjoyed working with, and finally found them All 4 had passed away. The youngest died in 1990 ... 31 years ago. Wow.

Time has really flown, I guess.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

RedTop — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 00:29:18 GMT

No. I have no interest in reconnecting with any old friends or co-workers.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

Susan in California — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 01:03:32 GMT

@Tinkrbl44

That is tough. That has happened a few times to my husband. He was interested in connecting with someone he had known so well in school and had seen him during his most-recent reunion. He found out he had died last Fall, not Covid related.

Pretty much the same story with someone he hadn't seen in a while but wondered how he was doing....This man had been a caretaker of his wife who had MS for decades.

His wife is still alive, but he died.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

J Town Girl — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 16:17:24 GMT

No I haven't. I've lived in Germany and a few states quite a distance from each other and once I move on from an area I kind of cut the cord. I guess I see no reason to continue a relationship with someone that I most likely will never see again.

I know many people continue friendships with past co-workers but I don't do that either.

I once worked with a girl who on her day off would go to two of her previous employers and visit with the people that she used to work with. I always thought that was strange and wondered if her previous co-workers really enjoyed her coming by all of the time.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

Jk9 — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 04:44:05 GMT

No. Not something that I want to do.

Re: Have You Searched For, Reconnected with Former Friends?

Nataliesgramma — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 10:38:06 GMT

From my experience, it is probably better to leave them in the past. The several Cousins I did reconnect with...I have pretty much distanced myself again. One had a restraining order against him for stalking, another is a party animal and the third can't get along with any family, friends or co-workers (and I can see why).

Old work friends spent money on vacations, BIG homes, clothes and things they couldn't afford. They are still working because they can't afford to retire. I felt resentment that I am retired.

I did have breakfast with my old best friend and Maid of Honor in my wedding 45 yrs ago...and it has been nice and she hasn't changed. We get together once a month and have a nice tme.