topic Lessons Learned The Hard Way in Community Chat

Lessons Learned The Hard Way

occasionalrain — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 00:32:11 GMT

My mother loved the theater so when I was a child she took me to children's plays. The first one was a musical that I hated, but not wanting to disappoint my mother, I said I loved it. Somehow, when lying about a gift or event, most oversell, going on about how much they like it.

Big mistake and no surprise that I was taken to, and had to endure, hundreds of plays.

The lesson I learned then that's been with me ever since is that anything praised will be repeated evermore.

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

homedecor1 — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 01:04:08 GMT

Like my newly acquired & growing🦩🦩🦩🦩🦩collection🙈

My friends think I need more & more🙄. I actually had donated all and any excess "collectibles" over past year BUT they can't help themselves. I just received a shower curtain, towels and bathroom set for a early bday gift.

I think I'm gonna have to put out a PSA "love the thought but please don't give me anymore"

@occasionalrain

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

FancyPhillyshopper — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 04:24:13 GMT

I constantly say I adore gold jewelry, diamonds, rubies, sapphires, Jaguars, and Maseratis, and now I am waiting for them all to arrive!!

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

beach-mom — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 06:25:53 GMT

When I was in college one of my best friend's boyfriends invited me to have Sunday dinner at his parents' home. It was my friend's first time eating with them, although she had met them.

His mom served lamb chops. I didn't eat them because I didn't believe in it. My friend didn't either, but she was in "impress boyfriend's parents" mode. We weren't sure what to do. We both kind of pushed it around and when his mom was in the kitchen, boyfriend took them wrapped in a napkin to the dog!

My friend and I praised boyfriend's mom's cooking and said how much we enjoyed the dinner. The rest of it, including dessert, WAS really good!

The following month I went with them again. His parents wanted me to come again, as they enjoyed meeting me. Guess what she served? "Since you girls liked dinner so much the last time you were here, I thought we'd have lamb chops again." The dog ate well again, and if his mom was aware, she never let on!

The next time they drove to campus, and we went out for spaghetti!

I was close to both of them and went through the ups and downs of their relationship with them. I loved both of them. I took DH to their wedding shortly after we started dating. They brought their newborn daughter to my wedding. Because of geography we haven't seen them in a long time. But I always adored my friend's husband's parents, and I'll never forget those dinners!

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

Tinkrbl44 — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 07:07:09 GMT

@FancyPhillyshopper wrote:

I constantly say I adore gold jewelry, diamonds, rubies, sapphires, Jaguars, and Maseratis, and now I am waiting for them all to arrive!!

@FancyPhillyshopper

Be sure to keep us updated on the new goodies you receive.

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

Tinkrbl44 — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 07:14:38 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
My mother loved the theater so when I was a child she took me to children's plays. The first one was a musical that I hated, but not wanting to disappoint my mother, I said I loved it. Somehow, when lying about a gift or event, most oversell, going on about how much they like it.

Big mistake and no surprise that I was taken to, and had to endure, hundreds of plays.

The lesson I learned then that's been with me ever since is that anything praised will be repeated evermore.

@occasionalrain

You should have disappointed her, and encouraged her to find something else you could both enjoy.

Alas, as kids, we just don't have those insights yet. Years later, did you ever tell her you weren't crazy about plays?

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

jlkz — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 12:02:09 GMT

@FancyPhillyshopper

Laughed when I read your post ! It reminded me of an episode at my dentist appointment a few years ago. The assistant kept looking at my watch. She explained how she loved pink ! The casual watch had a decidedly pink watch band.

As I was getting up to leave, I handed her the watch and she was speechless. The dentist joined in " I really like that diamond ring "....at which we all started laughing.

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

SloopJohnB — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 12:12:40 GMT

@beach-mom wrote:
When I was in college one of my best friend's boyfriends invited me to have Sunday dinner at his parents' home. It was my friend's first time eating with them, although she had met them.

His mom served lamb chops. I didn't eat them because I didn't believe in it. My friend didn't either, but she was in "impress boyfriend's parents" mode. We weren't sure what to do. We both kind of pushed it around and when his mom was in the kitchen, boyfriend took them wrapped in a napkin to the dog!

My friend and I praised boyfriend's mom's cooking and said how much we enjoyed the dinner. The rest of it, including dessert, WAS really good!

The following month I went with them again. His parents wanted me to come again, as they enjoyed meeting me. Guess what she served? "Since you girls liked dinner so much the last time you were here, I thought we'd have lamb chops again." The dog ate well again, and if his mom was aware, she never let on!

The next time they drove to campus, and we went out for spaghetti!

I was close to both of them and went through the ups and downs of their relationship with them. I loved both of them. I took DH to their wedding shortly after we started dating. They brought their newborn daughter to my wedding. Because of geography we haven't seen them in a long time. But I always adored my friend's husband's parents, and I'll never forget those dinners!

@beach-mom While reading your post about the lamb chops, I couldn't help but think of the Seinfeld episode involving him hiding mutton in his napkin because he didn't want to eat it. Have you seen it? Too funny. 🐑🍽🐕

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

haddon9 — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 12:18:59 GMT

@SloopJohnB wrote:
@beach-mom wrote:
When I was in college one of my best friend's boyfriends invited me to have Sunday dinner at his parents' home. It was my friend's first time eating with them, although she had met them.

His mom served lamb chops. I didn't eat them because I didn't believe in it. My friend didn't either, but she was in "impress boyfriend's parents" mode. We weren't sure what to do. We both kind of pushed it around and when his mom was in the kitchen, boyfriend took them wrapped in a napkin to the dog!

My friend and I praised boyfriend's mom's cooking and said how much we enjoyed the dinner. The rest of it, including dessert, WAS really good!

The following month I went with them again. His parents wanted me to come again, as they enjoyed meeting me. Guess what she served? "Since you girls liked dinner so much the last time you were here, I thought we'd have lamb chops again." The dog ate well again, and if his mom was aware, she never let on!

The next time they drove to campus, and we went out for spaghetti!

I was close to both of them and went through the ups and downs of their relationship with them. I loved both of them. I took DH to their wedding shortly after we started dating. They brought their newborn daughter to my wedding. Because of geography we haven't seen them in a long time. But I always adored my friend's husband's parents, and I'll never forget those dinners!
@beach-mom While reading your post about the lamb chops, I couldn't help but think of the Seinfeld episode involving him hiding mutton in his napkin because he didn't want to eat it. Have you seen it? Too funny. 🐑🍽🐕

@SloopJohnB Exactly what I thought of when reading the lamb chop story! LOL!!

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

SloopJohnB — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 12:24:10 GMT

@haddon9 Right.....the inherited cloth napkins and the dogs following them home because the mutton was in the pocket of the coat. And they thought that he liked it so much, they made the mutton again. 👚🍖

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

haddon9 — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 12:29:23 GMT

@SloopJohnB Too funny!!

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

beach-mom — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 17:08:09 GMT

@SloopJohnB wrote:
@beach-mom While reading your post about the lamb chops, I couldn't help but think of the Seinfeld episode involving him hiding mutton in his napkin because he didn't want to eat it. Have you seen it? Too funny. 🐑🍽🐕

LOL @SloopJohnB ! I'm one of probably the two only people on this earth who have never seen Seinfeld - not one episode! I have friends who have, and I've heard about the Soup Nazi. I like all of the actors. IDK why I never saw it. It could have been a schedule situation at the time.

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

SloopJohnB — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 17:21:22 GMT

@beach-mom Actually I never saw it when it was first on. I only started watching it when it went into syndication and then I have seen the reruns many a time over. Same for other shows, like King of Queens 🤴👸and Everybody Loves 💘Raymond. I think looking back when these shows were on I was too busy raising my kids to watch much TV. 📺 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦.

No soup for you! 😘

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

beach-mom — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 18:05:53 GMT

@SloopJohnB wrote:
@beach-mom Actually I never saw it when it was first on. I only started watching it when it went into syndication and then I have seen the reruns many a time over. Same for other shows, like King of Queens 🤴👸and Everybody Loves 💘Raymond. I think looking back when these shows were on I was too busy raising my kids to watch much TV. 📺 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦.

No soup for you! 😘

@SloopJohnB - I really should watch it! I keep watching Frasier. That show makes me LOL! I saw almost every episode when it was on, but I never get tired of it. I DVR it to watch when I can, and I find myself adding more and more episodes to my "keep" list on my DVR.

One of my favorite "lamb" episodes is actually a M.A.S.H. one. The doctors have treated soldiers from a Greek unit, and in appreciation the Greek colonel sends a lamb to the 4077th for a feast. Radar doesn't like that. It's absolutely hilarious!

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

chickenbutt — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 18:10:41 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
My mother loved the theater so when I was a child she took me to children's plays. The first one was a musical that I hated, but not wanting to disappoint my mother, I said I loved it. Somehow, when lying about a gift or event, most oversell, going on about how much they like it.

Big mistake and no surprise that I was taken to, and had to endure, hundreds of plays.

The lesson I learned then that's been with me ever since is that anything praised will be repeated evermore.

It's always a tough needle to thread. You want to be gracious, yet it can come back to bite a person, as it did you.

I've received gifts that I truly thought were dreadful but I'm not going to communicate that to the person. So you try to make a real-looking smile, come up with a positive comment, and thank them gracefully.

I can imagine something like somebody gifting some sort of trinket of the collectible nature and your gracious appreciation turns into you getting another one every year.

Fortunately, we don't do gifts anymore (my gifts are either cashola or Amazon money) and don't have family, so *whew* - no more of having to pretend you like something that you wish would bust out in flames. HA!

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

SloopJohnB — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 18:11:18 GMT

@beach-mom And I've never watched Frasier..... Then or now. 🤷. LOL

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

proudlyfromNJ — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 18:15:34 GMT

@beach-mom wrote:
@SloopJohnB wrote:
@beach-mom While reading your post about the lamb chops, I couldn't help but think of the Seinfeld episode involving him hiding mutton in his napkin because he didn't want to eat it. Have you seen it? Too funny. 🐑🍽🐕
LOL @SloopJohnB ! I'm one of probably the two only people on this earth who have never seen Seinfeld - not one episode! I have friends who have, and I've heard about the Soup Nazi. I like all of the actors. IDK why I never saw it. It could have been a schedule situation at the time.

I

@beach-mom I'm the third person on earth who has never seen Seinfeld. But I do love Frazier.

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

chickenbutt — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 18:20:38 GMT

On the opposite end of the grace spectrum, I'm reminded of a story from many years ago.

My former had a brother (who was very nice) and a SIL (who was, well, not so much). They had two girls. One christmas we asked about gifts for them and really made an effort to give these girls nice gifts that they would love. Well, so we thought.

At the time of gift giving I don't remember one of the gifts but the other was a doll. Dolls creep me out but I remember finding what would be the right doll to give. In lieu of a thank you the girl who got the doll started scribbling all over it with a pen. The other child just immediately tore her gift to shreds.

As I sat there I was mortified. I'm thinking 'this is how you teach your kids to act???'. (yes, they were old enough to know better) As horrid as my childhood was, at least we DID learn manners and social graces.

When I think of being graceful (or not) this is what comes to mind for me as the worst example I think I've ever seen. Oh, and the parents just sat there, doing/saying nothing.

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

occasionalrain — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 18:43:07 GMT

@chickenbutt

It's a tightrope walk, being gracious, but not too gracious.

With gifts, I go on about the wrapping paper, ribbon and the thoughtfulness of the giver.

Re: Lessons Learned The Hard Way

beach-mom — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 18:44:52 GMT

@SloopJohnB wrote:
@beach-mom And I've never watched Frasier..... Then or now. 🤷. LOL

@SloopJohnB - You HAVE to see this if you can! Two of my favorite episodes are "The Ski Lodge" (Season 5, Episode #14), with "romantic" entanglements; and "The Innkeepers" (Season 2, Episode #23), when the two brothers buy their childhood restaurant.

Did you ever see Cheers? Frasier was a character on that show. In his trademark show he moves to his hometown of Seattle to be a radio psychiatrist. His younger brother Niles is also a psychiatrist, who is married to a wealthy recluse, but pines for his father's live-in physical therapist/caretaker , a beautiful young girl from England. Frasier gets his dream condo with an amazing view where he can showcase the finer things in life he enjoys. But he ends up taking in his dad, who retired from the police force when he was shot in the hip, and his dad's dog, and of course the caretaker. The wonderful ensemble cast is completed by Frasier's online producer.

You can tell how much I enjoy this show!