topic Re: Dealing With A Control Freak. in Community Chat

Dealing With A Control Freak.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 20:58:11 GMT

My sister is a wonderful woman, and we get along 98% of the time, but she thinks it is her job to run everyone's life.

She has a long list of very serious health issues and she couldn't get off the couch on Easter. Both her daughters, ages 42 and 43, were there and they made dinner. Nothing fancy, chicken (DS can't have any protein from any animal with 4 feet. No beef, pork or lamb), scalloped potatoes, salad, another veg, and rolls.

My sister told me of was the first holiday, ever, that she wasn't in the kitchen to.......direct. Huh! It was not the allied forces storming Normandy. 2 intelligent woman can handle dinner and clean up. She constantly tells her kids what they should be doing. They say things to me about her bossiness. Don't tell me, tell her.

She got mad at her youngest last week because her DD had the nerve to not let her drive. She can barely get to the car and has to be in a wheelchair at her destinations. Her DH won't let her drive and he was out so she browbeat her daughter to let her behind the wheel.

I ignore her, or give her "the look", when she tries to boss me.

Do you have a control freak in your life and how do you handle it?

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

QVCkitty1 — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 21:03:17 GMT

Thank goodness I have no one close like that, it would not go well.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 21:15:31 GMT

@QVCkitty1 Yeah, I don't take being ordered around well.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

SeaMaiden — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 14:00:22 GMT

I am a self admitted control freak. I try to muzzle on it....and keep it under control😄

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

hckynut — Sun, 02 May 2021 16:46:27 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2

Think I read other posts about your sister on this topic, but maybe it was someone else. Do I have any in my family? No, but I have worked around people, and have been around many others that were/are that way.

How did I handle it? Pretty much like I do everything else in my life. I speak up, and that in short order, ends when they thought they would apply that to me. I won't use the words I used, but they got/get my message loud and clear.

hckynut

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

Porcelain — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 21:24:22 GMT

Welp. You are not going to change your sister at this late date, so I'd say figure out a way to laugh about "how she always is." "Can you believe what Jenny Sue did/tried to pull this week? Hahahaha." Makes for good stories at least.

There's a saying, "Tyrants fear laughter." The kryptonite of control freaks is when you maintain a sense of proportion and humor. I just refuse to take them as seriously as they take themselves. And I allow myself a laugh when a ridiculous statement or demand strikes me as funny.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

Icegoddess — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 21:31:50 GMT

I'm a bit of a control freak, but not about other people. It's why most projects I do I don't want help. That way I can do it the way I want. I have an upcoming project with my husband putting together a greenhouse. That will be interesting. We're both engineers, but we also both seem to look at things completely opposite.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 21:53:12 GMT

@Porcelain When she has said that she told a daughter to do this or that my response is, "you do realize you raised 2 kids that are smart and have common sense."

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

50Mickey — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 22:02:04 GMT

I admit that I am confused. Were you there for the Easter dinner? If it bothers you then I would stay home and have my own holiday dinner. if your sister is a wonderful woman 98% of the time then ignore the 2% that she is not. None of us are perfect 100% of the time.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

nana59 — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 22:02:51 GMT

my husband....there's only one way to do things.....his way....i think it's a trait he developed during his military career...might have worked well when he was a pilot....but doesn't work well during his retirement.......

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

Mom2Dogs — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 22:09:58 GMT

Yes, a sister, she was ALWAYS right, I never fought with another person like she fought with me, never her fault, things always had to go her way....stupid stuff and she would never let anything go...we no longer speak, and one of her kids has no contact with her the other kids keep her at arms length.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 22:13:59 GMT

@50Mickey No, I wasn't there. My sister told me that the girls made dinner and cleaned up. She told me that she couldn't be in the kitchen to direct.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

TaylorBrown — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 22:17:45 GMT

I do and I tell her about herself. She can like it or lump it. She knows it's true. She does not try to run me or browbeat me. That would not work. She has an opinion about just about everything and often disagrees with how I think. We know that we are both highly opinionated and are just fine with it. When someone tells you the truth about yourself, how can you honestly deny it?

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

godi — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 22:17:52 GMT

@SeaMaiden I agree I am the same. I also try to keep it under control. Oh and it's tiring keeping you all in line! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️❤️❤️

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

deepwaterdotter — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 22:19:02 GMT

If there were a person in my family who was a "control freak", I fear they would be shut down in short order. My family members do not silently abide bad behavior for very long.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

ThinkingOutLoud — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 22:27:15 GMT

The first thought that came to my mind is that it could be a personality trait that's on overdrive because she may not feel like she has much/any control over her health issues so she directs it inappropriately. It could also be because being overly bossy is a distraction from her health issues. It may not hurt to point these possibilities out so she doesn't burn bridges.

Though it's obviously an issue, understanding why someone might be doing things can help to have more patience and compassion towards them.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

Sage04 — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 22:51:42 GMT

I'm a take charge person and very organized. Party time, I take over from beginning to end and they follow my lead. There are seven of us (brothers and sisters) and I tell them I'm this way because I'm a middle child. There keep telling me there is no middle and I always tell them the fourth is the middle.

There is one in every family lol. I'm it.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

Sage04 — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 22:55:54 GMT

@ThinkingOutLoud wrote:
The first thought that came to my mind is that it could be a personality trait that's on overdrive because she may not feel like she has much/any control over her health issues so she directs it inappropriately. It could also be because being overly bossy is a distraction from her health issues. It may not hurt to point these possibilities out so she doesn't burn bridges.

Though it's obviously an issue, understanding why someone might be doing things can help to have more patience and compassion towards them.

@ThinkingOutLoud , it's because we think that we can do everything better than anyone else lol

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 23:14:44 GMT

@ThinkingOutLoud She was like this long before she got sick.

When she first started getting sick almost 2 years ago she refused to go to the Dr. Her husband, both girls (one is a nurse) and I all tried to get her to go. It took an emergency room visit to get her to a Dr. and he said had she waited a few more days she wouldn't be here.

She told all of us to basically butt out. She does not follow her own advice. I no longer discuss her health issues.

She outright told me she can tell us what to do but we are not allowed to do it to her.

Re: Dealing With A Control Freak.

Carmie — Mon, 12 Apr 2021 23:42:00 GMT

My father and the older of my two brothers were control freaks. Everyone in the household let them have their way, but me.

Once my father said "You are the only one of my children who doesn't listen and take direction from me. What's the matter with you?"

I replied " I can't help it if I have your genes and take after you". He did laugh about that.