topic Re: texting annoyances in Community Chat

texting annoyances

caroln242 — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 15:42:59 GMT

My sister practically refuses to text and I'm beginning to understand why. My daughter or granddaughter will text me, we'll be having a nice conversation, and I'll reply asking some question and then....nothing. Like they fell off the face of the earth. So I wait several hours, then a day, then I'll finally text them back saying, "did you get my last text?". Maybe several hours later I'll get a reply saying, "sorry, I forgot", "sorry, I was busy", "sorry, my phone died" (understandable) or some other excuse.

Why do they just leave a person hanging like that? I mean, they're right there, in the middle of a conversation. And they just disappear. So annoying. I originally started texting because I know they have busy lives and I don't want to interrupt with phone calls, and I figure a few texts back and forth is less intrusive but still keeps us connected.

I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable in my expectations or is it just a tendency of todays younger generation to disregard common courtesy?

Re: texting annoyances

kittyloo — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 15:47:09 GMT

@caroln242 wrote:
My sister practically refuses to text and I'm beginning to understand why. My daughter or granddaughter will text me, we'll be having a nice conversation, and I'll reply asking some question and then....nothing. Like they fell off the face of the earth. So I wait several hours, then a day, then I'll finally text them back saying, "did you get my last text?". Maybe several hours later I'll get a reply saying, "sorry, I forgot", "sorry, I was busy", "sorry, my phone died" (understandable) or some other excuse.

Why do they just leave a person hanging like that? I mean, they're right there, in the middle of a conversation. And they just disappear. So annoying. I originally started texting because I know they have busy lives and I don't want to interrupt with phone calls, and I figure a few texts back and forth is less intrusive but still keeps us connected.

I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable in my expectations or is it just a tendency of todays younger generation to disregard common courtesy?

@caroln242 I believe you answered your own question perfectly. It's the younger generation disregarding common courtesy.

Re: texting annoyances

Lucky Charm — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 15:50:12 GMT

I'm horrible that way!

I'll text someone and then put the phone down and totally go on to something else and forget.

For some reason, my phone doesn't *sound* when my DIL texts me. Phone is new (and I am not...lol!)

I don't think to check my phone for long periods and will see that I was texted...yesterday. Ooops.

I'm still a *home* phone person, except I never listen to messages if I see someone called, I just call them back and say 'I didnt' listen to your message'.

I'm even worse listening to cell phone messages. I've listened to maybe....three?

Re: texting annoyances

Foxxee — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 15:58:32 GMT

How often are you texting them? Every day, several times a day.

I know someone who had become a pest. She texted her grandkids and daughter several times a day just asking what they were doing.

Other than that, I'm seeing less consideration and respect from the younger generations than when I was young.

Re: texting annoyances

Anonymous032819 — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:00:23 GMT

To me, texting isn't long, drawn out full blown conversations. It's just used to touch base, short conversation.

For example:

A: Hey. R we still on 4 2night?

B: Yes

A: C U there!

If you want a long conversation, talk by phone or Zoom.

Re: texting annoyances

1Snickers — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:02:31 GMT

I text my son all the time. I'm hearing disabled and can't hear on the phone. I have caption call on my landline but someone listens to type it.
My friends know to e mail or text also. I'm guilty of not having the phone nearby and getting a message but understand that text are interrupted by driving, working, etc. I can't even hear the regular phone ring, so I appreciate texting!

Re: texting annoyances

Sage04 — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:07:20 GMT

This happens a lot. A childhood friend and I would text for about 10 minutes, go about doing what we have to do and maybe a month later one of us would answer the last question asked and pick up where we left off. The conversation just keeps on going.

Re: texting annoyances

kitcat51 — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:14:36 GMT

I despise text chitchat with a bunch of questions...if you want or need something just get to it & if you just want to talk call me. My texts are short with family...Thinking of you, have a good day, Love Always & if it's more I call them.

Re: texting annoyances

Big Joanie — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:20:58 GMT

I love texting ...I can send a message to the kids .. they can get

to it when they can .. I don't feel I am interrupting something

important they may be doing ....

Re: texting annoyances

Biftu — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:24:22 GMT

Texting can be convenient for quick messages. I never send a text but I have friends who will text me and the back and forth over nothing is so annoying, it's one text after another and I feel like I should keep responding. I don't want to! Phone calls preferred but email works for me too so I can respond when I'm ready, it's not instantaneous.

Re: texting annoyances

Nonametoday — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:27:43 GMT

@caroln242 wrote:
My sister practically refuses to text and I'm beginning to understand why. My daughter or granddaughter will text me, we'll be having a nice conversation, and I'll reply asking some question and then....nothing. Like they fell off the face of the earth. So I wait several hours, then a day, then I'll finally text them back saying, "did you get my last text?". Maybe several hours later I'll get a reply saying, "sorry, I forgot", "sorry, I was busy", "sorry, my phone died" (understandable) or some other excuse.

Why do they just leave a person hanging like that? I mean, they're right there, in the middle of a conversation. And they just disappear. So annoying. I originally started texting because I know they have busy lives and I don't want to interrupt with phone calls, and I figure a few texts back and forth is less intrusive but still keeps us connected.

I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable in my expectations or is it just a tendency of todays younger generation to disregard common courtesy?

@caroln242

No, you are not being unreasonable. The same happens to me with my children. Sometimes an answer is much needed, e.g., "are you coming to lunch Christmas Eve or are you spending it with your MIL?" No answer until Dec 23 when I text URGENT and say "what is your answer..." "Oh, let me ask my wife.." and finally, "no, we are going to her parents." "Well, thank you, I ordered enough food for an army. Maybe I can send your Christmas gifts and a plate lunch. Merry Christmas Argh.

Re: texting annoyances

caroln242 — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:33:42 GMT

@Foxxee wrote:
How often are you texting them? Every day, several times a day.

I know someone who had become a pest. She texted her grandkids and daughter several times a day just asking what they were doing.

Other than that, I'm seeing less consideration and respect from the younger generations than when I was young.

I usually don't text more than once a week, just to touch base. My daughter will call on the phone once every couple weeks, and sometimes I'll text her later in response to something we talked about on the phone, like something I had to look up and get back to her. I try not to abuse the texting system! Just normal stuff.

Re: texting annoyances

mom2four0418 — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:39:44 GMT

@caroln242 wrote:
My sister practically refuses to text and I'm beginning to understand why. My daughter or granddaughter will text me, we'll be having a nice conversation, and I'll reply asking some question and then....nothing. Like they fell off the face of the earth. So I wait several hours, then a day, then I'll finally text them back saying, "did you get my last text?". Maybe several hours later I'll get a reply saying, "sorry, I forgot", "sorry, I was busy", "sorry, my phone died" (understandable) or some other excuse.

Why do they just leave a person hanging like that? I mean, they're right there, in the middle of a conversation. And they just disappear. So annoying. I originally started texting because I know they have busy lives and I don't want to interrupt with phone calls, and I figure a few texts back and forth is less intrusive but still keeps us connected.

I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable in my expectations or is it just a tendency of todays younger generation to disregard common courtesy?

Rather than be annoyed, why not just discuss it with them?

Re: texting annoyances

catter70 — Thu, 18 Mar 2021 15:22:51 GMT

I don't even know how to text and really don't want to. I rarely turn my phone on. Still loving my land line. Cell is for emergencies or for something I need to know at the moment and I'm not home. I notice on TV, that when people are on cell phones and one of them is done talking they never even say goodbye, they just "hangup". How did they know the other person didn't have something else to add? I would think they lost their signal. I guess I'm showing my age.

Re: texting annoyances

SunValley — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:53:50 GMT

I have to remind myself that others are not always in sync with my schedule. Sometimes calls come in while texting that needed my attention or the door bell rings, or the timer goes off...all kinds of things can derail the flow of text conversation. I know this can happen as well to the person at the other end of the chat. I’ve been interrupted and forgot to “finish” a chat. I find the benefits of texting outweigh the annoyance for me. Also I like being able to send an emoji or gif to loved ones as a quick, simple way to let them know they are remembered, especially this past 12 months when we have not been able to gather.

Re: texting annoyances

CherryHugs — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:57:23 GMT

I sometimes leave friends hanging when we text but try to say something first before I stop texting.

One friend that I send a text to doesnt always reply and then later or the next day she texts me and never says a word about the text I sent. ( Not asking her a question)

I try to always reply to her texts even if I find them not that interesting to me (politics)

I prefer texting to talking on the phone!

Re: texting annoyances

ECBG — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 16:58:12 GMT

@caroln242 @kittyloo

I've had the exact same texting problem described with adults.

Re: texting annoyances

on the bay — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 17:13:27 GMT

@caroln242 -

I know what you are talking about.

My sister does that and she is the only one I know that does.

She will text me first and ask me something, then I'll text back an answer or if I ask her a detail in order to be able to answer, she may not text back til the next day.

I think she will just stop and think its ok because she has something else to do that she wants to or has her own schedule or something.

I don't know.

As for everyone else,I think each of my friends and family has their own texting style and preferences and I get to know them.

Some will carry on long conversations. Some one or 2 words only and always.

And I love texts for keeping closer to all of them. Sometimes we will send photos or funny things or prayers -everything.

Facetime is great but personally I hate zoom-like watching bubbles in a fish tank everyone talking at once.

Some will send one text and not answer for several days, but that is different then someone who starts a text that seems to need answers for them, yet leaves abruptly and doesn't finish,

leaving you hanging on the result so you can't make any decisions til they answer.

When this happens over and over,

and other people comment on it too, I know its not just me. I do think it is unsettling and someone who does this is not as concerned or aware of how it makes others feel. But I think she is aware of it.

It is very annoying. I mean I wasn't the one who started the text and questions in the first place that seemed to need a resolution right then.

And yes sometimes people forget, but that is not what I'm talking about in this case.

I don't need answers or texts back right away or same day or days, but

this is not the same as this with initiating it and leaving in the middle abruptly before anything is solved.

And doing it time and time again.

I just know that's her now and try not to let it get to me. And sometimes I'll go ahead and figure out what I need to do and go ahead and do it without her reply.

But I love her. That's just one of her

idiosyncracies I guess.

Re: texting annoyances

Mominohio — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 17:15:28 GMT

I think many of us 'olders' assume that when we are in the middle of a texing conversation, that everyone is just focusing on that.

In reality that isn't true for most people. They are on break at work and have to go back. They are driving and were stopped briefly and are back on the road. They are at home doing three things at once, and put the phone on the charger and get busy with other things for awhile.

The whole texting thing was all about not disturbing people and letting them get back to you on their time, at their convenience.

Email was supposed to be like that too when it first came out (in the personal setting, not business). I remember people emailing me back in the very early 2000's, and getting mad and calling me when I hadn't responded in five minutes. Heck, I had to stop giving out my email address, as I would go a month at a time and not look at it. I considered it my email, not theirs, wasn't interested in checking it daily, or hourly as some expected. And even now with texting or instant messaging, I often go many hours and never pick up my phone.

Those who are closest to me know if you really want or need me desperately, call.

Re: texting annoyances

CelticCrafter — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 17:33:59 GMT

If it's that important, call...