topic Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations in Community Chat

I Need Some Help/Recommendations

January121 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 10:53:22 GMT

A friend of mine just lost her husband this week ... he was buried on Friday ... they are Jewish & I want to send something “in sympathy” to her home but, I don’t know what I should send .... that’s why I need your help & suggestions ..... is it ok to send a floral arrangement or a fruit basket (I am not crazy about sending a fruit basket because you never know how good the fruit will be) .... I appreciate any suggestions you can make ... THANKS.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

on the bay — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 11:01:11 GMT

@January121 -

I think a plant basket would be nice.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

January121 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 11:03:26 GMT

@on the bay .... Thanks!!

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

ninjawife — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 11:15:16 GMT

The family may sitting Shiva for seven days after the burial and may be accepting guests for those days especially the first or second day when mourners gather for prayers. It might be nice to send something that the guests can eat during Shiva. When my co-worker's husband died, those attending the Shiva were asked to bring a dessert to be shared among those attending the Shiva. I brought a box of candy.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

turtle52 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 11:20:00 GMT

if they are sitting Shiva food is traditional but with the pandemic they might not be. Maybe you can find out before you decide what to send.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

jackthebear — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 11:52:50 GMT

Food is usually bought to a shiva house with the result that there is more food than anyone needs

Flowers are not usually part of Jewish mourning so not sure about a plant

depends on if they are inviting people into the house or not

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

SXMGirl — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 11:55:40 GMT

@January121 Edible Arrangements has nice fruit baskets.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

jackthebear — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 12:05:04 GMT

@SXMGirl wrote:
@January121 Edible Arrangements has nice fruit baskets.

I like this idea, you can send a small basket if it's a small or just family gathering

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

godi — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 12:14:22 GMT

If you reached out to her or sent a card lay low for a few weeks. Then send something. That's when they need it most when all people are gone and it really sets in. Offer to bring her a to go dinner or lunch. Better yet mask up and meet her for a meal if that's at all safely possible.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

gidgetgh — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 12:21:19 GMT

I am horrible with this type thing. I was sent a fruit basket once, from Harry and David, after a hospital stay years ago. It was loaded with pears. I don't eat pears and neither did my husband. Total waste. So, I'm not big into fruit baskets,

I will say that I was in the hospital week before last. Some friends sent me a gift when I got home. It was from Spoonful of Comfort. It was a huge thing of chicken noodle soup, rolls, triple chocolate chunk cookies, a dish towel and a ladle. I froze the soup because I didn't want it right then. Working on the rolls and the cookies are history. Both the rolls and cookies were really delicious so I assume the soup will be.

I am not into gift baskets so I don't hand out compliments for them easily. I thought this one was terrific and would definitely give one from that company to someone else if I ever need to.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

apt901 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 12:43:02 GMT

I agree, food before flowers/plants.

However, shiva may be smaller/remote by this time, and the amount of food needed for mourners right now might not be that much. You might consider getting her a gift card to a local restaurant you know she likes so she can order in when she needs the food, and pick what she/family would like on a day when cooking seems overwhelming.

Another thought is to honor her husband by finding out if he had a favorite charity/organization for donations, or to plant a tree in Israel. ( I always appreciate that).

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

KingstonsMom — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 13:29:12 GMT

@SXMGirl wrote:
@January121 Edible Arrangements has nice fruit baskets.

@SXMGirl

And they're delicious and unique! Many different configurations.

I've ordered many times and never a disappointment to me or those that I gifted them to.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

riley1 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 14:06:20 GMT

Edible Arrangements has beautiful arrangements and the fruit is excellent.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

Sooner — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 14:48:05 GMT

Plants. I associate plants in various states of distress with the time after funerals.

I agree with send a sweet card and do something later. Like go over and get rid of the dead plants. Sort of kidding, and sort of not. . .

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

Janey2 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 15:09:51 GMT

A shiva meal, a food basket, plant a tree in Israel, a donation to their charity

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

IMW — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 15:10:40 GMT

No flowers or plants. Food is fine. Maybe a donation

in her husband's name to a charity/cause she/he supports.

If food, baked goods are fine. Are they kosher?

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

Kitlynn — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 15:43:12 GMT

Flowers are not appropriate for people of Jewish faith. However dried fruit, nuts and chocolate are. You could put together that type of food basket and have it sent along with a nice card.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

geezerette — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 16:55:12 GMT

There is a site called shiva (dot) com that explains the customs and has various gifts available to send.

Also, 1800flowers has shiva gifts available to order as well.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

Sooner — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 17:33:45 GMT

One of the nicest things people ever did for us (and I am sorry I don't know how these fit in with Jewish customs) is to bring us a cooler of ice for drinks and disposable cups; pretty paper napkins and small plates; nice but disposable forks; and an extra two rolls of kitchen-sized trash bags--all to go in the kitchen.

Someone stayed in the kitchen for an hour, served food and cleaned up the kitchen a little, and someone took a load of dish towels and cloths home and washed them.

These people were angels to us! The did things that took the burden off of us.

Re: I Need Some Help/Recommendations

conlt — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 17:48:45 GMT

A plant or a dish garden arrangement is nice. I still have a dish garden arrangement sent for my mothers funeral.