topic Re: Toxic Positivity in Community Chat

Toxic Positivity

GrailSeeker — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 18:41:17 GMT

I recently came across the term "toxic positivity" for the first time during a podcast.

When I thought about toxic positivity, I thought of the black and white yin and yang, and thought how if you fail to see the dark side, you fail to see the whole, thus not getting a true or accurate picture of reality. We balance through the ability to see both sides.

Lately I am noticing a trend to minimize dissenting opinions about all kinds of little things by referring to such opinions as shameful or nasty, when nothing shameful or nasty at all was said. It was just a dissenting opinion.

When the words shameful and nasty were used, they appeared to be in effort to support the positive opinion by severely minimizing the opinion that said "no" by calling it shameful and nasty.

To me, this is an example of toxic positivity. How would you define the term toxic positivity?

Re: Toxic Positivity

Love my grandkids — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 18:46:59 GMT

@GrailSeeker I'm sitting here scratching my head and trying to think of an answer!

Re: Toxic Positivity

suzyQ3 — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 18:48:31 GMT

@GrailSeeker wrote:
I recently came across the term "toxic positivity" for the first time during a podcast.

When I thought about toxic positivity, I thought of the black and white yin and yang, and thought how if you fail to see the dark side, you fail to see the whole, thus not getting a true or accurate picture of reality. We balance through the ability to see both sides.

Lately I am noticing a trend to minimize dissenting opinions about all kinds of little things by referring to such opinions as shameful or nasty, when nothing shameful or nasty at all was said. It was just a dissenting opinion.

When the words shameful and nasty were used, they appeared to be in effort to support the positive opinion by severely minimizing the opinion that said "no" by calling it shameful and nasty.

To me, this is an example of toxic positivity. How would you define the term toxic positivity?

@GrailSeeker, I got a little lost in this paragraph.

Otherwise, I think that, as always, we have to pinpoint rather than generalize. I'd have to read or hear the original statement or opinion before judging any reaction.

Re: Toxic Positivity

GrailSeeker — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 18:49:13 GMT

@Love my grandkids wrote:
@GrailSeeker I'm sitting here scratching my head and trying to think of an answer!

It is somewhat of an oxymoron, isn't it?

Re: Toxic Positivity

GrailSeeker — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 18:52:53 GMT

@suzyQ3 wrote:
@GrailSeeker wrote:
I recently came across the term "toxic positivity" for the first time during a podcast.

When I thought about toxic positivity, I thought of the black and white yin and yang, and thought how if you fail to see the dark side, you fail to see the whole, thus not getting a true or accurate picture of reality. We balance through the ability to see both sides.

Lately I am noticing a trend to minimize dissenting opinions about all kinds of little things by referring to such opinions as shameful or nasty, when nothing shameful or nasty at all was said. It was just a dissenting opinion.

When the words shameful and nasty were used, they appeared to be in effort to support the positive opinion by severely minimizing the opinion that said "no" by calling it shameful and nasty.

To me, this is an example of toxic positivity. How would you define the term toxic positivity?

@GrailSeeker, I got a little lost in this paragraph.

Otherwise, I think that, as always, we have to pinpoint rather than generalize. I'd have to read or hear the original statement or opinion before judging any reaction.

Maybe you will come across what I am referring to if you are aware of the terms I referred to. Not any one thread.

Re: Toxic Positivity

Lali1 — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 18:58:22 GMT

I've never heard the term. Some of what you described I consider to be emotional thinking without considering all factors. Some things seem like they would be a great idea but there can be unintended or bad consequences from them. A little like someone who wants to make a big change and writes a list of pros but never a list of cons. And there are those people who ask for advice and then get mad when it's not what they wanted to hear. They don't want advice they want approval.

Re: Toxic Positivity

ValuSkr — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:02:15 GMT

I think you are conflating reality and opinions.

Yes: it's good to see both dark and good sides of situations. That's being realistic.
Yes: it's okay to consider certain opinions shameful. I'll refrain from offering an example of a shameful opinion.

Re: Toxic Positivity

GrailSeeker — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:05:29 GMT

@ValuSkr wrote:
I think you are conflating reality and opinions.

Yes: it's good to see both dark and good sides of situations. That's being realistic.
Yes: it's okay to consider certain opinions shameful. I'll refrain from offering an example of a shameful opinion.

Well, I did say that the opinions were not "shameful" in any sense of the word. Just mundane subject matter.

Re: Toxic Positivity

kitcat51 — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:10:16 GMT

woke nonsense.

Re: Toxic Positivity

Lali1 — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:42:38 GMT

I do see what you mean here a lot. I see it on other social media as well. It's not a bad thing someone is saying but some people won't allow anything but positive comments or they claim people are just rotten awful people for saying anything negative. People have a tendency to demonize anyone they don't agree with. It's an awful way to think of people. Creates a lot of hate which is not a good thing for humanity.

Re: Toxic Positivity

GrailSeeker — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:14:42 GMT

@kitcat51 wrote:
woke nonsense.

I thought of another example: the child who acts out but is never called out on it or receives any kind of reprimand, to me would be an example of toxic positivity.

Re: Toxic Positivity

deepwaterdotter — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:15:02 GMT

Is this an offshoot of the term 'cancel culture'?

Re: Toxic Positivity

GrailSeeker — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:20:11 GMT

@deepwaterdotter wrote:
Is this an offshoot of the term 'cancel culture'?

I wasn't thinking of that, but I think that might be true!

Re: Toxic Positivity

GrailSeeker — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:22:45 GMT

Also, maybe, related to the so called ad hominen or personal attack:

Ad hominem (Latin for 'to the person'), short for argumentum ad hominem, refers to several types of arguments, some but not all of which are fallacious. Typically this term refers to a rhetorical strategy where the speaker attacks the character, motive, or some other attribute of the person making an argument rather than attacking the substance of the argument itself.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad_hominem

Re: Toxic Positivity

willdob3 — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:23:19 GMT

@GrailSeeker

I wasn’t familiar with the term so I researched it a bit. It is something that I see a lot of in posts all over the internet and it has always bothered me that people really blindly think that way.

“We define toxic positivity as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.”

Re: Toxic Positivity

J Town Girl — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:25:25 GMT

To me an example of positive toxicity would be telling someone who just told you of a dire situation that they are having and your response would be to tell them that they should be grateful that they still have a roof over their heads.

I think the idea that we should always maintain a positive attitude no matter what difficulties we are encountering is just not realistic nor healthy for us.

Many times people just want to be able to share their emotions with us and by giving them the idea that they should always see the silver lining in every situation it just makes them feel ashamed and guilty.

I'm one who has always hidden my feelings and tried to always keep a smile on my face and throughout the years I believe that has hurt me. I guess I believed that sharing my feelings were a sign of weakness and I always wanted to appear strong.

I believe when we push the idea that things could be worse or that others have more substantial problems it makes people unwilling to share their feelings for fear of being shamed or being viewed as ungrateful for what they have.

Re: Toxic Positivity

Foxxee — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:29:31 GMT

A pessimist's label for someone with a positive attitude.

Re: Toxic Positivity

willdob3 — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:26:13 GMT

The term may be new but the behavior is not.

Re: Toxic Positivity

GrailSeeker — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:26:51 GMT

@willdob3 wrote:
@GrailSeeker

I wasn’t familiar with the term so I researched it a bit. It is something that I see a lot of in posts all over the internet and it has always bothered me that people really blindly think that way.

“We define toxic positivity as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.”

and thus discourages reponse

Re: Toxic Positivity

GrailSeeker — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 19:29:39 GMT

@Porcelain

That was good.