topic Re: Unwanted Good Deeds in Community Chat

Unwanted Good Deeds

occasionalrain — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 21:46:46 GMT

While good deeds are often appreciated, some are unwanted and then some.

Before presuming to do what you think is a benevolent favor, it's best to ask if it's wanted.

Would you want to surprised to find your neighbor in your driveway washing your car ? I wouldn't.

I had a neighbor who took it upon himself one fall to rake our leaves. I don't want my leaves raked because insects lay their eggs in those leaves and I want them left undisturbed.

Same neighbor disposed of my Christmas tree that was outside and meant to be donated to an environmental group.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

Kachina624 — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:02:02 GMT

@occasionalrain. Where do you live? I'll buy your house.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

dimin — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:05:46 GMT

I'm weird, No matter how dirty my kitchen is or for how long I don't want help. It's just that I want the satisfaction of doing it myself. Part is I don't want someone doing it and it looks like I can't (which is kind of the case). At least if you want to help, ask me first. That's why I'm weird. Especially no help from guests, even if the guest is my own son. I'll clean fast if someone wants to cook. At least I'll clean the cooking area.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

happycat — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:38:44 GMT

I took garden vegetables to a new neighbor one time and she let me know right quick she didn't cook, said she didn't want the veggies, I told her it was ok, I'd take them back home. That I wanted to meet she and her dh.

She ended up keeping the veggies. I was offended but then she needed something, and called me, and you know what? She turned out to be ok. She just wasn't in the mood to cook.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

AuntG — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:11:28 GMT

In one way, it would be nice, but in another way, I might feel I'm not doing a good enough job maintaining my property. We really appreciated a neighbor who cleaned away a big snow drift at the end if our driveway. However, another neighbor would always bring up the garbage cans when their was no rush to bring them up.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

manny2 — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:12:05 GMT

I would just be grateful you have such thoughtful neighbors. It is a simple fix just tell them next time you put something out, or after the leaves fall that while you appreciated the thoughtful gesture you just discovered the insect egg info, so you are going to let them stay undisturbed. Same for the tree. Just say thanks for helping last year, but this year it will be donated and picked up.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

sunshine45 — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:13:04 GMT

@happycat wrote:
I took garden vegetables to a new neighbor one times and she let me know right quick she didn't cook, said she didn't want the veggies, I told her it was ok, I'd take them back home. That I wanted to meet she and her dh.

She ended up keeping the veggies. I was offended but then she needed something, and called me, and you know what? She turned out to be ok. She just wasn't in the mood to cook.

if i did not want them i would have taken them anyways and passed them along to someone who enjoys cooking and/or enjoys vegetables. so nice that you broke the ice and got acquainted.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

occasionalrain — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:14:14 GMT

@Kachina624

I should disclose that my house does not include my neighbor since he died two years ago. Still interested?

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

Porcelain — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:17:23 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
While good deeds are often appreciated, some are unwanted and then some.

Before presuming to do what you think is a benevolent favor, it's best to ask if it's wanted.

Would you want to surprised to find your neighbor in your driveway washing your car ? I wouldn't.

I had a neighbor who took it upon himself one fall to rake our leaves. I don't want my leaves raked because insects lay their eggs in those leaves and I want them left undisturbed.

Same neighbor disposed of my Christmas tree that was outside and meant to be donated to an environmental group.

You have got some HIGH CLASS problems! I'm pretty impressed and interested in swapping.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

occasionalrain — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:22:37 GMT

One of my neighbors puts his extra vegetables on a table at the edge of his yard with a Free sign.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

Suziepeach — Sat, 13 Feb 2021 14:10:13 GMT

Our neighbor's daughter passed away and a big tree limb fell across one of their driveways so we took it upon ourselves, since people would be coming & going ) to saw and get rid of that limb. She called that night and asked had we seen anyone over there and laughed- I said, "Well there was a motely crue over there" and they were more than happy to help them. She laughed thru her tears.. Our hearts were broken over their daughter..

Another neighbor lost her husband at Christmas a few years back- he'd decorated all of the house & yard but one day we drove by and she was attempting to take it all down by herself so we stopped and asked could we help get it done faster. She was totally delighted and we were more than happy to help..

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

KKJ — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:30:26 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
One of my neighbors puts his extra vegetables on a table at the edge of his yard with a Free sign.

And that's NOT a nice thing? It's not like he's forcing them on anyone.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

Icegoddess — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:32:45 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
One of my neighbors puts his extra vegetables on a table at the edge of his yard with a Free sign.

@occasionalrain I only grow my veggies in containers so I don't get a lot, but for me, it's often more about the enjoyment of growing them than in actually eating them, or at least not all of even the small harvest I get. I've been thinking about this summer just taking my extras to church and leaving in the foyer. I guess the front yard is another option. Maybe the mail lady would like them.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

chickenbutt — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:33:19 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
One of my neighbors puts his extra vegetables on a table at the edge of his yard with a Free sign.

My first thought (since I have a warped mind) was that I hope people didn't take the table, too.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

Kachina624 — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:35:13 GMT

@occasionalrain Naw, thats okay. So whats the problem if he's no longer around?

I've got single men on either side of me and I wouldn't know them if I passed them on the street.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

occasionalrain — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:37:16 GMT

@KKJ

Oh, it is most definitely a nice thing; we all appreciate it? Sorry I was unclear.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

Daisy Sunflower — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:38:41 GMT

@chickenbutt wrote:
@occasionalrain wrote:
One of my neighbors puts his extra vegetables on a table at the edge of his yard with a Free sign.

My first thought (since I have a warped mind) was that I hope people didn't take the table, too.

Yeah, they might want to put Free Vegetables.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

Luvsmyfam — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:39:44 GMT

Sounds like u have pretty nice neighbors.i wouldn't complain to loudly.i would give anything if one of my neighbors would run my trash can to the curb.be grateful for them

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

KKJ — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:40:48 GMT

Ha! Ok, that's how I took it since it was posted under UNWANTED good deeds. I know being a terrible gardener myself I always appreciate getting extra garden veggies from friends who do garden.

Re: Unwanted Good Deeds

GenXmuse — Thu, 11 Feb 2021 22:41:02 GMT

Well, thank god you don't have to deal with that busybody again. No good deed goes unpunished.