topic Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday in Community Chat

Today Is My Mom's Birthday

Jordan2 — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 16:55:47 GMT

Today would have been my mom's 93 birthday. I knew her last birthday would be the last we would spend together. I'm sitting here so sad, crying and missing her terribly. Sunday will be the one year anniversary of her death, I feel the same one year later as I did in the beginning, there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

Renata22 — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:05:34 GMT

I am so sorry for your sadness. I was very close to my parents and I know the hurt I felt and still feel from their loss. I am praying for you.

My brother died suddenly last year and his birthday just passed. These dates are always hard.

I hope you can find some comfort. I'm thinking of you & sending hugs.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

QVCkitty1 — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:05:40 GMT

@Jordan2 , I'm no expert, and I don't know your situation, but I can tell you my experience. I lost my mom in 2003, and I was gutted. It takes time and the length of time is different for everyone, but eventually it gets better. You never stop missing her, but it becomes a beautiful memory. You may need to talk to a professional or a friend, I won't pretend to know. Losing your mom is a unique kind of pain, and I wish you the best. 🌺

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

Puppy Lips — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:06:26 GMT

So sorry for your loss. My Mom died last year on August 20. She made it to 90 years old last May. I had a feeling that would be her last birthday. She had just come out of the hospital and was in a facilty before she went into assisted living. The staff there were very accomodating in that they gave her a cake and sang to her and arranged for us to have a video chat with her, that I recorded on my phone.

I still miss her more than ever. Some days are harder than others. We have had a rough go of it with the virus destroying the business my husband and I spent over 20 years building. I need my Mom to just listen and tell me that everything will be all right. She was the last parent to go, so my husband and I feel like orphans. I am not ready to be the old, steady, understanding, and comforting force for our kids and grandchildren, when we still need that ourselves.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

lkat — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:08:58 GMT

@Jordan2 So sorry about your mom. I know how heartbreaking it is to lose a parent. My mom's been dead 9 years and my dad 4 years and I still miss them and think about them often. It does get better though as time goes on. I know it seems like it never will, but it does get easier.

At first I couldn't think of my parents without crying, now I smile more often than cry when I think of them. I still miss them, but it doesn't hurt as much. After seeing how dysfunctional my husband's family was, I am so grateful to have had such loving parents. It makes it harder when they're gone, but at least we can look back and remember all the good times we had with them.

Sending you a virtual hug...

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

BlueFinch — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:10:17 GMT

@Jordan2 Aw, happy birthday Mom. And, {{{cyber hugs}}} to you.

I totally understand. I've lost almost everyone in my family and recently a dear friend, of 45 years. I feel like I have no history left. I'm the only one who has it stored, now.

The sadness never goes away. Over time, we DO learn to cope with it better. However, this first anniversary, is still very close for you, to begin seeing any light. But, hopefully you will. Just hang in, and give it time, grief is not something you can rush.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

mizree — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:10:49 GMT

@Jordan2 i know this sadness. My Mom has been gone two years and I miss her every day. The anniversary of her passing, her birthday, Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas are all filled with profound sadness. Remember your Mom loves you and wants you to be happy. I'm sure you did all you could for her while on this earth. Remember her pain and suffering are no more. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

gizmogal — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:21:01 GMT

So sorry for your loss and the acuteness of your pain this week in particular.

I lost both my parents more than 20 years ago.

Though each of us needs varying time, you will feel better over time. You don't get over it, it is just easier to accept and endure. You will feel better again, even though it seems so dark right now.

I've noticed a big loss becomes more bearable when you are able to remember your mom without the feeling of missing her. The nostalgia and emptiness of missing your mother is what hurts because the lack of her presence is so vivid. When you are aware that your life and mental state has moved to so many fond (or even a very few negative) memories, but without the sense of your aloneness, you will know that you are managing your grief better. You will always remember your mother in so many ways, but you won't actively miss her as time goes by.

For grief the treatment is tender care, the cure is time.

Be good to yourself this week. Cry and acknowledge your feelings. But be assured you are understood here and wherever else you express yourself.

And it will get better wtih time. Stay strong.

Sending a hug and a box of kleenex.

(I lost my sweetheart of 40+ years just 4 weeks ago today. We were so loving and vital to each other. I have been bereft and having to console myself. I know your pain).

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

Jordan2 — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:28:04 GMT

Thank you all for the lovely words, I really appreciate them. We don't really know each other, but I have come to know a lot of the names and the online conservations, advice, and opinions mean so much to me. You all have been more sympathetic and kind to me, more so than people in my life who should be.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

jlkz — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:32:15 GMT

@Jordan2

So sorry for the continuing pain at the loss of your mother on the first anniversary. The posters that you mentioned are right on track.

And that tunnel with no lights: there is a bend in the track which is why you cannot see the light from where you are. It is waiting for your journey to make the turn. It will in time.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

alicedee — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 18:41:04 GMT

I am very sorry for your loss.

My own experiences losing both parents and two beloved sisters ... it took at least two years each time to really start to feel "normal" again. I think it just takes time to get to that new normal.

But if you are really incapacitated by your grief....continually cry, can't eat, work or other relationships are affected....it is a good idea to ask your doctor to recommend someone for you to talk to.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

MOMMAVik — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:45:38 GMT

@Jordan2

I know how difficult this must be for you. Having lost both my parents close together the pain has never lessened. But I try to reminisce about the good life they gave us, even though money was very tight. We as kids never wanted for anything. They truly loved us. Sending you warm hugs ... 🌺🌼💐🌈💞

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

ECBG — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 18:00:22 GMT

I am so very sorry. You were so lucky to have a mother you were so close to. I would like to share this writting which has been so helpful to me in the past.

Henry Scott Holland

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

AuntG — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 18:30:22 GMT

She was given a long life to enjoy with you, not that it lessens your pain.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

Mj12 — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 18:44:15 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
Today would have been my mom's 93 birthday. I knew her last birthday would be the last we would spend together. I'm sitting here so sad, crying and missing her terribly. Sunday will be the one year anniversary of her death, I feel the same one year later as I did in the beginning, there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me.

@Jordan2 today would have been my Mom's birthday too. It's been 12 years. The first year is the worst. It will get better (hard to see now, believe me I know). The good memories replace most of the sad ones.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

Carmie — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 18:51:47 GMT

@Jordan2 Losing your mother is painful. It takes a long time to adjust to life without her. I remember grabbing the phone to call my mother a few years after she passed, then remembering she was gone.

What helped me was to just talk out loud to her. My mother has been gone almost 40 years and I still talk to her. I ask for advice and how to make a recipe and just tell her that I love her. I know she hears me and she helps me find my way.

Mothers don't leave their children. She will stay by your side until you meet on the other side again.

I know that the hurt and pain of her loss will go away and in it's place will be the beautiful memories you have of her. It takes time, but it will happen.

Please know that she is still with you..in your heart and in your mind and she is watching over you and protecting you. Tell your mother " Happy Birthday. " She will hear you.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

happycat — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 19:23:03 GMT

I'm so sorry, @Jordan2. I think your mom was blessed to have you for a daughter. I remember your posts when you were taking care of her, you loved her so much and did your best.

I really believe there are some bonds that cannot be broken, no matter what, the bond your shared with your mom is one of those.

I'm praying for you, and I'm sorry for your heartache.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

Another new name Sue — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 19:40:12 GMT

Jordan, today is my mother's birthday too! She would have been 99. She died in 2003. There are at least 3 of us here whose moms have the same birthday. I wonder what mine would say about the current events. She was always interested in politics.

Jordan, I'm sorry you are still feeling the pain of losing your dear mother. I miss mine every day, but it's not so fresh as yours. May the good memories comfort you.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

Still Raining — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 20:51:09 GMT

My sympathy to you. She must have been a lovely woman.

Mine has been gone for ten years and I mainly have nice soft memories. But every birthday I just want her to make me a cake 😪. Some wishes never go away.

Re: Today Is My Mom's Birthday

Luvtuna — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 21:29:11 GMT

I'm so very sorry for your loss and I hope the beautiful memories of her bring you comfort. Sending hugs and a prayer.