topic Re: Neighbor concern in Community Chat

Neighbor concern

drizzellla — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 17:56:26 GMT

I am at a loss about what to do.

Our elderly neighbor across the street has been physically declining. We have been doing his yard work, trash, cleaning, etc for over a year. His 4 children took away his keys to his vehicle about 3 weeks ago.

We suspect he is no longer living in the house. There a no lights on at night, his drapes are always open and his mail has not been touched in over a week.

His mail was overflowing his mail box. So I put it in a bag and hung the bag behind an outside chair. I noticed that he had a refill of his drugs delivered in the mail. I am worried about the drugs sitting out with the fluctuating temperature and we are getting below freezing temperature next week.

No one mentioned to us that our neighbor was not living in the house.

I have keys to his house but with the virus I don't want to just put it in his house. His son is quite concerned about the virus. His son was doing yard work and his Dad walked past him at a distance of about 3 feet. The son was so upset that he immediately left. He lives 90 miles away. So I am afraid if his son does stop by and sees the bag in his Dad's house, he will be upset.

I don't want to bring the mail into our house. We had the covid virus and I am sure that would upset the son and probably the daughters too.

I only have the phone # for his landline. Any suggestions what I should do?

Re: Neighbor concern

golding76 — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 17:59:56 GMT

drizzella,

You are such a good and caring neighbor. Bless you for your kind heart.

Could you ask your local police department to conduct a wellness check?

Re: Neighbor concern

Love my grandkids — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:02:37 GMT

@drizzellla If you know how to reach the son, do it. He needs to take care of things.

Call the landline and see if there is an answer.

In most areas the police will do a welfare check in cases like this. I hate to say it but the poor man may be dead in the house. Hopefully NOT, but someone needs to check.

And I'm glad you are NOT taking his meds or mail into your house and are staying safe.

Please let us know what happens, I feel sorry for the old guy. But a welfare check is something that can be done by the police.

Re: Neighbor concern

Lucky Charm — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:03:22 GMT

I think I'd be more concerned that he is still in his house.

Have you tried calling the landline?

Re: Neighbor concern

Kujo — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:03:48 GMT

I’d ask other neighbors if they have any information about the whereabouts of this gentlemen. If no one knows anything, I’d also ask the local police to do a welfare check on him in case he might be incapacitated inside his home.

Re: Neighbor concern

tansy — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:06:59 GMT

Like someone else suggested call the police for a welfare check. What you describe does not sound okay.

Re: Neighbor concern

Sweet Caroline 1 — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:09:54 GMT

@drizzellla Call the police right now and have them come and do a welfare check. He could be inside, hurt or sick or worse. You would want the same if the roles were reversed. Please keep us posted. Thanks

Re: Neighbor concern

Pearlee — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:10:27 GMT

@drizzellla I also agree with the police welfare check. And please look for them and tell them about the mail with meds and the man's son, whom the police should be able to locate.

Re: Neighbor concern

Mz iMac — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:12:34 GMT

@golding76 wrote:
drizzella,
Could you ask your local police department to conduct a wellness check?

@drizzellla Also, let the police know you have the key to his house. Police in doing wellness checks are not allowed inside the home w/o a search warrant. You may need to let them inside the house since you have a key. At least that is the way it is in my neck of the woods.

I find it strange that you have the key to this man's house, seen his sons yet, you never got any of his childrens phone numbers? Do the children know you have a key to their fathers house?

Re: Neighbor concern

beach-mom — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:12:44 GMT

@drizzellla wrote:
I am at a loss about what to do.

Our elderly neighbor across the street has been physically declining. We have been doing his yard work, trash, cleaning, etc for over a year. His 4 children took away his keys to his vehicle about 3 weeks ago.

We suspect he is no longer living in the house. There a no lights on at night, his drapes are always open and his mail has not been touched in over a week.

His mail was overflowing his mail box. So I put it in a bag and hung the bag behind an outside chair. I noticed that he had a refill of his drugs delivered in the mail. I am worried about the drugs sitting out with the fluctuating temperature and we are getting below freezing temperature next week.

No one mentioned to us that our neighbor was not living in the house.

I have keys to his house but with the virus I don't want to just put it in his house. His son is quite concerned about the virus. His son was doing yard work and his Dad walked past him at a distance of about 3 feet. The son was so upset that he immediately left. He lives 90 miles away. So I am afraid if his son does stop by and sees the bag in his Dad's house, he will be upset.

I don't want to bring the mail into our house. We had the covid virus and I am sure that would upset the son and probably the daughters too.

I only have the phone # for his landline. Any suggestions what I should do?

@drizzellla - First, you are wonderful to care about this neighbor!

Here's what I would do. I think for his son to leave immediately after getting closer than 3 feet is absolutely ridiculous. That's his FATHER! Obviously things are different because of the virus, but what a horrible way to treat anyone who's elderly and may be confused by everything, must less your own father!

Because there are medications involved, and you have a key, I would go into the house and see if he has the numbers for his son or other children by his phone or on his refrigerator. I would do this only if his son hasn't been by for a while.

If the son cares about his dad he will be thankful his dad has neighbors who care. And he can explain whether or not his dad will be returning.

Also, if you have another trusted neighbor you can tell him/her what is going on.

Re: Neighbor concern

drizzellla — Sun, 06 Dec 2020 04:35:49 GMT

I do not have a phone # for any of his children.

Re: Neighbor concern

tansy — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:20:18 GMT

Seriously, call the police.

Re: Neighbor concern

QP Doll — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:21:40 GMT

I would call for a wellness check ASAP!! Better to be safe than sorry!

Re: Neighbor concern

CelticCrafter — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:26:59 GMT

For someone that has been doing what you have done for him it's extremely thoughtless for one of his kids not to contact you.

Re: Neighbor concern

RedTop — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:29:35 GMT

Absolutely call for a wellness check.

Re: Neighbor concern

KingstonsMom — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:31:56 GMT

Collecting his mail from his mailbox, regardless of the reason, is a felony under federal Law.

IMO you should try his phone, if you get no answer, call the police for a wellness check, but when you DO contact the police, place his mail back in his mailbox, so they can get an accurate timeline of when he went 'missing' or stopped checking his mail.

I'd actually be surprised if his son hadn't requested a wellness check if HE hasn't had contact with his Dad and was concerned.

Re: Neighbor concern

CrazyDaisy — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:33:44 GMT

Seriously I would be more concerned for the neighbors welfare inside the house. It has been proven that Covid is not spread on surfaces. Call the police they will check the house and try to locate family.

Re: Neighbor concern

Alter Ego — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:33:57 GMT

I don't know why this is a question - if you are worried, call the police. Maybe all is well and he's visiting one of his children. Maybe he's in the hospital and you don't know about it. It's not worth worrying about the what if's. It's literally one of the jobs the police do.

You would want someone to do the same for you.

Re: Neighbor concern

Foxxee — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:36:50 GMT

I know of a few older people who died in their houses. Neighbors were suspicious because of no activity and called the police.

You are doing the right thing by being concerned. If he doesn't answer his phone, call the police.

Re: Neighbor concern

QP Doll — Sat, 05 Dec 2020 18:37:01 GMT