topic Re: What I learned about gifting here in Community Chat

What I learned about gifting here

traveler — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 15:06:51 GMT

I've been here over 25 years and have learned that expectations of gifting is more complicated than realized. Spending time and money on a gift could be a waste because it could be casually regifted. And I have received my own gift back.

gift cards are abhorred because it tells people where to shop or they are time consuming. Cash is preferred.

I have come to the decision to not gift except for the red kettle. Makes it easier on everyone and the recipient need not fear getting something they don't want.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Mom2Dogs — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 15:18:00 GMT

@traveler You have to do what you feel comfortable doing for the holidays.....DH and I gift only to his children/spouse and their children. I gift a friend...it's pretty easy for us. We put back money each week for a Christmas fund and never overspend.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Pearlee — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 15:18:57 GMT

@traveler wrote:
I've been here over 25 years and have learned that expectations of gifting is more complicated than realized. Spending time and money on a gift could be a waste because it could be casually regifted. And I have received my own gift back.
gift cards are abhorred because it tells people where to shop or they are time consuming. Cash is preferred.
I have come to the decision to not gift except for the red kettle. Makes it easier on everyone and the recipient need not fear getting something they don't want.

@traveler. Interesting post. But I will say that as a gift recipient, I have never feared getting a gift I didn't want. I have always been able to appreciate in some way a gift someone gives me. Are you sure it isn't the gift giver who fears? That is, fears giving something the recipient doesn't want?

Re: What I learned about gifting here

ECBG — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 15:25:51 GMT

I have not had your experience with the people I gift.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Irish1210 — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 15:47:44 GMT

@traveler

"Gift cards are abhorred.........they are time consuming"???????

The first part of the statement is clearly hyperbole and the second is ridiculous.

Please don't try to tell others what they prefer and why........you are entitled to your opinion, but take a moment to understand that others may feel differently.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

alicedee — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 15:50:31 GMT

I really enjoy buying loved ones something I think they will really enjoy. If I am at a loss, an Amazon gift card or cash works.

My grandsons love heavy metal music. I may be the oldest person who orders shirts from the Iron Maiden website lol!

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Roscoe the Rascal — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 15:51:43 GMT

To each their own. I enjoy giving and appreciate what I receive.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Snowpuppy — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 15:55:24 GMT

I've learned a lot from posters too after 15 yrs.

I read the "I just don't bother anymore" comments regarding holidays. There are people I've known for years and I used to send a gift and card with no response. I no longer send a thing. I sought nothing in return but they could have called or emailed to acknowledge.

I would always spend a minimum of $50.

I now donate to charity.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

shoesnbags — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 17:39:09 GMT

@Irish1210 wrote:
@traveler
"Gift cards are abhorred.........they are time consuming"???????

The first part of the statement is clearly hyperbole and the second is ridiculous.

Please don't try to tell others what they prefer and why........you are entitled to your opinion, but take a moment to understand that others may feel differently.

@Irish1210

Look at the title of this post. She is saying that these are the things she has learned about gift giving "here" - from reading this forum. She's not giving her own opinion. She's making an ironic statement about what some people have said about gift giving. At least that was my take on it.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Wsmom — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 17:49:41 GMT

@shoesnbags wrote:
@Irish1210 wrote:
@traveler
"Gift cards are abhorred.........they are time consuming"???????

The first part of the statement is clearly hyperbole and the second is ridiculous.

Please don't try to tell others what they prefer and why........you are entitled to your opinion, but take a moment to understand that others may feel differently.

@Irish1210
Look at the title of this post. She is saying that these are the things she has learned about gift giving "here" - from reading this forum. She's not giving her own opinion. She's making an ironic statement about what some people have said about gift giving. At least that was my take on it.

@shoesnbags , that was my take on it, too.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Cakers3 — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 17:53:11 GMT

I learned that some must have received coal in their stockings growing up.

LOL

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Jinlei — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 17:55:51 GMT

I donate to pet rescues. I feel my money is better used there.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Spurt — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 18:08:00 GMT

@Snowpuppy wrote:
I've learned a lot from posters too after 15 yrs.

I read the "I just don't bother anymore" comments regarding holidays. There are people I've known for years and I used to send a gift and card with no response. I no longer send a thing. I sought nothing in return but they could have called or emailed to acknowledge.

I would always spend a minimum of $50.

I now donate to charity.

@Snowpuppy

I know what you mean--- My brother and his family live out of State and I was always faithful in sending my niece and nephews Christmas money in their cards over the years, but never got a call, email, text, or letter of acknowledgement you'd think as they got older they'd know better--teens and one college kid.... I was concerned my "gifts" got lost in the mails, my SIL confirmed the kids got my cards and said she guessed she didnt do a very good job teaching them about sending thank you notes as she laughed, so now I just send them a nice card..... I'd rather give that money to a charity or person that might need and appreciate it...

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Irish1210 — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 21:47:41 GMT

@shoesnbags @traveler @Wsmom

If I misunderstood the post then I apologize, my mistake

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Carmie — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 22:09:16 GMT

The reality with gifting is that it gets more difficult as we head to adulthood.

Most people don't really need or want anything. That leaves us running around trying to come up with something we think they would appreciate. Often, we miss the mark.

Many gifts do get donated or regifted or even thrown out. If we give gift cards, we usually get one in return. Silly. Why go through the motions to exchange gift cards?

Christmas is for children.

I am down to cash for my adult children. They have bills to pay and money helps.

This year, my grands said they do not want gifts. They already have way too much stuff.

My two granddaughters prefer cash to add to their accounts. One is in HS, the other in college.

My grandson who is 11, wants cash for his account or an Amazon gift certificate.

I am okay with it. It makes my holidays easier.

My DH and I have requested no gifts, no gift cards and no cash for ourselves. We don't want or need anything.

I also gift the red kettle. They are my favorite charity.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

happycat — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 22:17:06 GMT

@Irish1210 wrote:
@traveler
"Gift cards are abhorred.........they are time consuming"???????

The first part of the statement is clearly hyperbole and the second is ridiculous.

Please don't try to tell others what they prefer and why........you are entitled to your opinion, but take a moment to understand that others may feel differently.

This is what was gleaned from another thread here. @traveler is just stating what she has learded here, on that other thread. There are definitely those who don't like gift cards who want a present because it looks like gift cards are the easy way out. I am one of the guilty ones who take the "easy way out". Thats fine, I'm not buying for anyone on this QVC BB.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

traveler — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 22:22:18 GMT

Thank you for all the replies.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

chickenbutt — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 22:30:21 GMT

What about the gifts of food?

We don't do gifts anymore but I know everybody has their preferences. For me, cash is probably the best choice. Either that or Amazon money. But I've not been one to tell somebody what I'd like for them to give me as a gift.

Like probably most, I've gotten gifts that were things I did not want at all but I'd never say anything. I'll be gracious and put it somewhere. If somebody else sees it, somewhere down the line, and admires it I'd probably be likely to just give it to them on the spot. The giver would never know, so it doesn't erase my graciousness.

A lot of times, when I see the sort of thing of gifts given that are not wanted, it tends to be that the giver is one of those folks who gives you a gift that is something THEY like, without consideration that maybe the other person would not. That's always odd because you almost want to say 'well, here, you take it and enjoy it'. Of course I would never do that.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Sooner — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 22:33:19 GMT

A gift is to genuinely make someone else happy--the gift receiver, not the giver. If it isn't that you should think long and hard about why give it in any case.

I still think the biggest pitfall with gift giving is getting into the trap of trying to look too good or too cleaver with the gift you give. Giving what you want the person to have, not what they want.

IF someone knows somebody wants or really needs/wants something then it is great to get it for them. If you just want to "surprise" them, then that's a slippery slope of giving a gift that is opened and the recipient thinks "What on earth am I going to do with that?" or "Why on earth would they get me that."

I see absolutely no point or greater good in getting someone something not knowing if they want it in this day and age when people have so much. I am not faulting people for having stuff, it's just the way many of us live.

Re: What I learned about gifting here

Drythe — Sun, 29 Nov 2020 22:38:14 GMT

@traveler

For a long while we have made donations to SPCA on behalf of friends and families. No one has complained.

Certainly understand your thoughts.