topic Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror in Community Chat

A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

Kalli — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 04:02:20 GMT

Yesterday I did something I regret and it made me realize I need to do better.

The line to vote was quite long for my small town. Most of that time was spent outside in the cold wind. I wore my winter coat and was comfortable and warm. So I played on my phone texting and reading news as the line inched toward the building.

After 45 minutes I was almost in the door, someone drove up with a handicapped person. The man got out, asked if it would be ok if he stood on the line in place of (his mom?) and then when he got to the door, he would walk her in to vote. He was told that was fine. So off he went, to the end of the line, leaving her to wait in her warm car.

It was on the tip of my tongue to offer my spot. I had nothing to do all day. It would've been inconvenient and boring to go to the back of the line and wait all over again. But I could've done it. And I didn't. I just stood there as he disappeared around the back of the building to get on the line.

There was a time I'd have offered my place right away. It would have cost me a little extra time out of my not-busy-at-all day. SMH. On the way home I thought of my parents, they'd have offered right away. And they'd have expected the same from me. Just disappointed in myself, I guess. It was a lesson I shouldn't have needed at my age.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

LoveMeSomeQVC — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 04:11:47 GMT

Don't be too hard on yourself, @Kalli . Sometimes my brain takes a little too long to catch up to a situation and I have felt like I could have done more or handled a situation better. The fact that you are feeling bad tells me you have a good heart and will be ready the next time to jump in and help! Life is too short to live with regret, so go easy on yourself!

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

Goodie2shoes — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 04:15:23 GMT

Let me just say this. My church has a every Wednesday online service for us seniors who don't feel comfortable returning to church yet due to Covid . Today's message was about Forgiveness. We don't always do the right thing at the right time. So from me to you, I forgive you, God Bless.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

GenXmuse — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 04:15:42 GMT

Aww, for you to think back and even consider what you could have done differently shows you have a tender heart. I am sure you'll have another opportunity to pay it forward. Thanks for admitting what many would not. That shows character.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

beach-mom — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 04:23:13 GMT

@Kalli - I agree with @GenXmuse . You were aware of the situation, and you remembered it later. You will have another opportunity and maybe the upcoming one will be one where you are needed even more. Don't be disappointed in yourself; your parents taught you well.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

Icegoddess — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 04:54:08 GMT

I'm actually surprised they didn't let the mother come to the head of the line. We had a lady come up to the line. She mentioned she had heard that anybody over 70 could go to the front of the line and she was 88. I actually the night before did hear that on the news, so I told her I did hear that, so she went to the front of the line. I ended up behind her again in the line to put our ballots in the machine. She told me that she had come at 7:00 when the polls opened and you couldn't even find a parking place, so it was her 2nd trip to the polls. We had a long line to get into the building, but it moved quickly and the weather wasn't bad.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

ROMARY — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 04:57:22 GMT

You have a conscience, and that's a good thing...........

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

shoesnbags — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 05:04:59 GMT

@Kalli

I can tell you have a good heart just from the fact that you are troubled by this, when many wouldn't give it a second thought. You are probably going to jump up to help the next person you encounter who needs a hand!

When I went for early voting there was a sign saying that handicapped/disabled voters were to come to the front of the line. I saw two or three people do just that during the 25 minutes I was in line. Definitely the right way to handle things. I'm surprised that those in charge didn't tell that man to just bring his mom in to vote without waiting.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

Desertdi — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 05:26:22 GMT

@Kalli Please don't beat yourself up. The fault lies with the polling place that they didn't make arrangements for the handicapped.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

Isobel Archer — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 06:25:03 GMT

When I worked at the polls, we were told that if someone was handicapped, they could either go to the head of the line, or we would go to their car and allow them to vote there.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

chiclet — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 11:00:05 GMT

I don't process things quickly anymore. I do or don't do things and later think I would have done it differently. Just forgive yourself and maybe some day you will get another opportunity to do it differently for someone else.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

Mmsfoxxie — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 12:11:23 GMT

This is one of those "charge it to my head, not my heart" situations. You just didn't think of it at that moment. I'm sure you have done so much good at other times, @Kalli.

A couple of weeks ago while putting my groceries in my trunk, I noticed this lady walking around the parking lot. She finally made her way very close to me. She on a mask, stayed her distance, dressed kind of on the sloppy side. She said very politely, "pardon me, madam but could you spare fifty cents?" I said just a moment til I put these last items in my trunk. Then I carefully slightly pulled my wallet out only enough to grab a dollar. She took it and profusely thanked me.

All day long I wished I had given her the five dollar bill instead of the single dollar which doesn't do much these days. It wouldn't have hurt me but probably could have really helped her.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

Greeneyedlady21 — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 12:38:09 GMT

@Kalli I applaud you for your regret and honest look in the mirror. Too many people these days never take an honest look at themselves and their behavior. So you are ahead in that regard.

You will remember that situation and you will have another chance.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

jackthebear — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 12:42:15 GMT

he took his mother's place, wasn't asking for someone to give up theirs, sounds like she was safe in the car

you shouldn't feel guilty

and the polling place should have made accommodations

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

Snoopp — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 13:25:16 GMT

Guilty conscience got you. It happens to the best of us. You'll probably have the opportunity to do something kind for someone in the future so let it go.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

goldensrbest — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 13:28:24 GMT

I can understand why you feel this way, but forgive your self, and i bet the son,and mom would forgive you, next time do what your heart tells you.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

Buffalogal47 — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 13:30:08 GMT

@Mmsfoxxie I never give money to panhandlers. You don't know if they're going to use it for food or for drugs or alcohol. If someone asks for money because they say they're hungry, I'll offer to buy them a meal. If they refuse, I know they only want the money to get high. Also many panhandlers work at this 8 hours a day like a job. They are expert scammers. They put on their crummiest clothes and beg for money and then at the end of their shift, they change, clean up and drive to their nice homes in their late'model cars. They earn quite a bit of money at this,and they also scam the government out of income tax because it's all cash. In giving money to a beggar you are either enabling their substance abuse or supporting a lifestyle that's probably better than yours.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

Buffalogal47 — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 13:34:12 GMT

@Kalli : Don't beat yourself up over this. We all have the occaisonal brain fart. I've had a few "What was I thinking" moments too. Next time a similar situation presents itself, you will have the opportunity to make up for it. Maybe not for the same person, but you will help someone else.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

bonnielu — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 13:39:58 GMT

Polling place has to take part of the issue. Should not have happened. Her situation should have put her first. You are a good person to care but I am not sure you could have done anything other than what you did.

Re: A regret, and an honest look in the mirror

NickNack — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 13:40:04 GMT

I'm surprised they didn't let the woman go to the front of the line. I thought most places were doing that. They should have.