topic Re: Just for fun! in Community Chat

Just for fun!

suzyQ3 — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 22:42:36 GMT

Church Ladies With Typewriters

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet has at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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And this one just about sums them all up

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

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Re: Just for fun!

Porcelain — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 22:50:50 GMT

This sounds like Lutheran humor. Love it!

Re: Just for fun!

suzyQ3 — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 22:54:49 GMT

@Porcelain wrote:
This sounds like Lutheran humor. Love it!

@Porcelain, if so, love 'em.

Re: Just for fun!

QVCkitty1 — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 23:01:22 GMT

@suzyQ3 wrote:
Church Ladies With Typewriters

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:

--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'  The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

-------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

--------------------------
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet has at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

--------------------------
And this one just about sums them all up

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
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Oh my gosh, this is so funny !😆

Re: Just for fun!

Lisa Y — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 23:02:34 GMT

@suzyQ3 Oh, how I laughed at these, especially one about the low self esteem group using the back door. 😆😆😆 Thanks for the chuckles!

Re: Just for fun!

Mom2Dogs — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 23:29:22 GMT

@suzyQ3 ...couple of those made me laugh out loud....!

Re: Just for fun!

Mary Bailey — Wed, 21 Oct 2020 23:34:40 GMT

LOL!

at my job, in trainging room, there is a sign

You don't have to be crazy to work here. We'll train you

Re: Just for fun!

LdyBugz — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 00:01:53 GMT

Those are a riot! So funny! 😂

Re: Just for fun!

jeanlake — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 02:55:08 GMT

Hey, I shared on my FB page. Lots of fun. Thank you.

Re: Just for fun!

spiderw — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 02:59:56 GMT

Lots of laughs and fun! Thanks, I needed that!!!!

Re: Just for fun!

Azcowgirl — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 03:58:27 GMT

@suzyQ3 These are so funny ! Thank you for posting ....my Mom typed the church bulletin when I was a little girl, and I know she would love these.😂

Re: Just for fun!

Lindsays Grandma — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 04:41:33 GMT

@suzyQ3 ...These are hilarious, gave me my laugh of the day, thanks for posting it.

: womanlol:

Re: Just for fun!

Qgirl26 — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 06:11:06 GMT

This was such fun to read, @suzyQ3 ! Thanks so much for posting this.

Re: Just for fun!

jubilant — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 09:35:32 GMT

Still laughing. These are so funny. It's nice starting this morning with laughter! Now for coffee and my newspaper and I'm all set!

Re: Just for fun!

SusieQ_2 — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 19:35:15 GMT

@suzyQ3 My dog loves to hear people laugh, especially her mom (me!). I laughed so hard at a few of these that she ran over to me and started barking as if to say "Hey, what's so funny?" She wanted in on the fun!

Thanks for sharing these, they're really great!

Re: Just for fun!

Spurt — Thu, 22 Oct 2020 21:16:32 GMT

🤣🤣🤣🤣