topic Re: THIS AND THAT in Community Chat

THIS AND THAT

Lindsays Grandma — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 08:24:51 GMT

I know there are some of you who love your coffee...my daughter came home from TJMaxx with a sign now sitting on her desk:

Just Give Me The

COFFEE

And No One Gets Hurt

1. Being single is lonely. Being in a relationship is stressful. Just talking to people is annoying...You really CAN'T win.

Guy Humor

2. Just remember that all the sxxt someone puts you through, sooner or later finds its way back to them.

Sun Gazinng

3. I hate when people confuse education with intelligence. You can have a degree and still be an idiot.

4. I hate paying my income tax.

You should be a good citizen - why don't you

pay with a smile?

I'd like to but they insist on money.

5. Have you heard about the new after shave that women are crazy about? NO! Tell me about it.

It smells like $50 dollar bills.

6. A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded. "If it weren't for my money, this house woulldn't be here." The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."

7. Money Puns: What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witchy woman.

8. Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.

9. What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?

There was money in the kitty.

10. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash.

11. Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money.

Tight With Money

12. The best way of saving money is to forget who you

borrowed it from.

13. My dad was so tight, as kids we were 8 before we realized the gas meter wasn't our piggy bank.

Time Jokes

14. "I hope you're not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock," said the principal to the new student. "No sir, I've got a digital watch that bleeps at three-fifteen."

15. Customer: 'I'd like a watch that tells time."

Clerk: "Don't you have a watch that tells time?"

Customer: No, you have to look at it."

16. What are your favorite times to party?

Daytime and nighttime.

17. When do clocks die?

When their time is up.

18. When is the best time to go shopping?

When the stores are open.

Accounting Jokes

19. What is a budget?

An orderly system for living beyond your means.

20. Why accountants don't read novels.

Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.

21. What is the most wishful thing a group of young

accountants can do?

Go into the town and gang-audit someone.

Funny Things About A Drive Through

22. After making your drive through order ask if they

take checks.

23. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you

are just window shopping and drive on.

24. When they ask to take your order, ask them for directions to a place which doesn't exist or a competitors drive throu.

Weather Jokes

25. It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.

26. Jill: How did you find the weather on your vacation?

Bill: I just went outside and there it was.

27. What is Hail? Hard boiled rain.

28. There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.

29. Fred: I'm sure I'm right.

Betty: You're as right as rain - all wet!

30. What are the hottest days during summer?

Sun-days.

The Best Is Yet To Come

Re: THIS AND THAT

Desertdi — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 08:39:40 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma I love #3...........had a co-worker throw out a stapler because it was empty.......

Re: THIS AND THAT

Lindsays Grandma — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 08:51:01 GMT

@Desertdi wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma I love #3...........had a co-worker throw out a stapler because it was empty.......

@Desertdi ...See? It's true. As a manager with Warner Bros Studios in Burbank, I dealt with top brass all the way down to the cleaning crews...I can attest to some at the bottom having more sense than some at the top.

Re: THIS AND THAT

DbinMD — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 10:04:49 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma

These are great. I also like #3. You can have all the book smarts and still be dumb as heck I found that a lot of smart people lack one thing, common sense.

Re: THIS AND THAT

godi — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 10:12:50 GMT

I agree number three is so true! Love all the clock ones also. ❤️🙏☕️

Re: THIS AND THAT

SandySparkles — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 16:43:34 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma This collection was a delight to read, but I am still chuckling at number 12!😂😂

~~~All we need is LOVE💖

Re: THIS AND THAT

wilma — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 17:28:17 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma
Thanks for posting.

My favorites:

Very true. Some people with degrees have very little common sense.
3. I hate when people confuse education with intelligence. You can have a degree and still be an idiot.

Love shopping! Don’t get to shop much right now due to the pandemic.
18. When is the best time to go shopping?
When the stores are open.

Re: THIS AND THAT

wilma — Mon, 12 Oct 2020 17:29:32 GMT

@Desertdi wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma I love #3...........had a co-worker throw out a stapler because it was empty.......

@Desertdi

😱🥴😳

Re: THIS AND THAT

Lindsays Grandma — Tue, 13 Oct 2020 04:56:47 GMT

@DbinMD wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma

These are great. I also like #3. You can have all the book smarts and still be dumb as heck I found that a lot of smart people lack one thing, common sense.

@DbinMD ...When I was married to an engineer who I finally divorced due to his using me as a punching bag, I would tell him he had no common sense. His reply to that was always, and I quote, "I'm glad I don't have common sense because I'm not common." A well educated engineer, yep!!!

Re: THIS AND THAT

DbinMD — Fri, 16 Oct 2020 10:24:50 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
@DbinMD wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma

These are great. I also like #3. You can have all the book smarts and still be dumb as heck I found that a lot of smart people lack one thing, common sense.
@DbinMD ...When I was married to an engineer who I finally divorced due to his using me as a punching bag, I would tell him he had no common sense. His reply to that was always, and I quote, "I'm glad I don't have common sense because I'm not common." A well educated engineer, yep!!!

I'm sorry that happened to you. I had a similar experience with my first marriage. Yes educated doesn't mean smart in the ways of life.

Re: THIS AND THAT

Desertdi — Fri, 16 Oct 2020 15:28:52 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma I DID reply to you on 10/15.

Re: THIS AND THAT

Lindsays Grandma — Sat, 17 Oct 2020 02:04:26 GMT

@Desertdi wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma I DID reply to you on 10/15.

@Desertdi ...A lot has been going on, please refresh my memory regarding the above.

Re: THIS AND THAT

SharkE — Sat, 17 Oct 2020 02:16:18 GMT

#6 rings my chimes.

Re: THIS AND THAT

Desertdi — Sat, 17 Oct 2020 02:29:41 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
@Desertdi wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma I DID reply to you on 10/15.
@Desertdi ...A lot has been going on, please refresh my memory regarding the above.

@Lindsays Grandma The whole thread disappeared........di

Re: THIS AND THAT

Lindsays Grandma — Sat, 17 Oct 2020 02:57:17 GMT

@Desertdi wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
@Desertdi wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma I DID reply to you on 10/15.
@Desertdi ...A lot has been going on, please refresh my memory regarding the above.
@Lindsays Grandma The whole thread disappeared........di

@Desertdi ...OK got it. Yes it happened again, one in particular is doing it & I am in the process of sending a very nice thread to all of you announcing the closure. I am hoping I can resolve this with the moderators.

Re: THIS AND THAT

AnjalenaQVC — Sat, 17 Oct 2020 05:40:33 GMT

This post has been removed by QVC because it is challenging moderation