topic Re: IT'S LAUGH TIME CONTINUED in Community Chat

IT'S LAUGH TIME CONTINUED

Lindsays Grandma — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 08:37:31 GMT

16. Teacher: "So Macy, what have you decided to draw?"

Student: "I'm drawing God."

Teacher: "But no one knows what God looks like."

Student: "They will in a minute."

17. "I miss the old -time stars. You know, the ones who wore clothes and had talent."

18. TO DO LIST

1) Go to pet store

2) Buy bird seeds

3) Ask how long it takes for the birds to grow

4) Wait for the reaction

19. Sometimes, I forget how to spell a word so I change the sentence to avoid using it. Clever right?

20. I'm not addicted to reading. I can quit as soon as I finish one more chapter.

21. In a Catholic School after cafeteria, a nun placed a note in front of a pile of apples: "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note: "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."

22. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

23. "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes sir." the new recruit replied. "Well that makes everything just fine", the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you,"

24. Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of "STUDY" and "DYING"?

25. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? FROSTBITE.

26. Q: Who earns a living driving customers away?

A: A taxi driver

27. I hope the children will never find out why I say "ooooops!!!!" so often when I vacuum their rooms.

28. Instead of John I call my bathroom the Jim! That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning!!!

29. Husband to wife in her hospital bed, "Give me a weeks warning before they let you out of here and I'll clean the kitchen.

30. After closing time at a bar, a drunk was proudly showing off to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.

"What's with the big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.

It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup", replied the drunk. "How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it. "Watch." the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave it an ear shattering pound and stepped back.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed,

"You ******* idiot. It's three o'oclock in the morning."

The End

Morgan Cutolo

Re: IT'S LAUGH TIME CONTINUED

Desertdi — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 08:48:30 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma Re #28...........Thank you! I just renamed my bathroom......... di

Re: IT'S LAUGH TIME CONTINUED

Desertdi — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 08:51:48 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma PS: When I lived in Chicago, we had a local tavern named "The Office" .................

Re: IT'S LAUGH TIME CONTINUED

Lindsays Grandma — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 09:03:27 GMT

@Desertdi wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma PS: When I lived in Chicago, we had a local tavern named "The Office" .................

@Desertdi ...I like that because I remember the day when some of us would head for our favorite watering hole every Friday night after work.

Re: IT'S LAUGH TIME CONTINUED

DbinMD — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 10:34:58 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma

These are great! #17, is funny but also the truth.

Re: IT'S LAUGH TIME CONTINUED

godi — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 11:27:06 GMT

All are funny but the last one is hysterical! 🤣🤣🙏☕️❤️

Re: IT'S LAUGH TIME CONTINUED

wilma — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 16:26:16 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma
Cute!
21. In a Catholic School after cafeteria, a nun placed a note in front of a pile of apples: "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note: "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."

Ouch! 😱
22. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Re: IT'S LAUGH TIME CONTINUED

SandySparkles — Fri, 02 Oct 2020 23:59:38 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma I cant stop giggling at number 28!🤣🤣🤣 Whewww.😊

~~~All we need is LOVE💖