topic Re: Big Family or Small Family. in Community Chat

Big Family or Small Family.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:06:39 GMT

I read a local obituary and the man had 11 deceased siblings and 7 surviving siblings. 19 kids in total.

My Mom was 1 of 10. 5 brother, 2 sisters. (Plus one sister that died at 4 of diphtheria and a brother died at birth).

My Dad had 1 brother and 1 sister.

Me, I have 1 sister.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

SeaMaiden — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:17:03 GMT

I think women who have 12 or more children have either:

no control....

no birth control....

an addiction like someone with too many dogs or cats....

it was common 100 plus years ago to have a dozen kids because women had no say in anything in their lives and were 2nd class citizens and treated as property.

Today women have the vote and have birth control...USE IT.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

tobes — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:21:25 GMT

@SeaMaiden Try not to judge.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

beckyb1012 — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:22:21 GMT

I think that today with all that is available and still a family chooses to have a large family the answer is simple, lots and lots of love and patience. Having more than 2.5 children does not equate to stupidity.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

ScrapHappy — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:26:57 GMT

My fathers side of the family was large, very large. He had 8 brothers and 4 sisters, not including twins (a boy and and a girl) who died at birth. Some of my father's sibling went on to have large families (not like his). My Grandmother died in 1997 at 95. I remember reading her obituary, it was something like 30 grandchildren...including great grandchildren. Just about all my relatives lived in a different state. Very, very small town...old coal mining town. Sadly, there are only 2 alive from my father's side now, two boys.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

Miss Pepsi — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:27:18 GMT

Today women have the vote and have birth control...USE IT.

All I can say is WOW

Last I heard we still had freedom of choice to have as many children as you want

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

BirkiLady — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:30:39 GMT

We all have choices without judgement. Why is this a topic? It's a very personal decision for a female and/or her partner/husband.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

Nuttmeg — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:31:26 GMT

@SeaMaiden

Woman were a product of their times. I had family members who lived on farms. Children helped parents.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

stevieb — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:31:35 GMT

Both my parents came from families of seven and yes, I do think availability of birth control was a factor. They had one. My mother wanted a larger family but it didin't work out. As for me, I have none. I say have what you want as long as you can afford it without looking to 'the village' to pick up the tab. If that's 'judgement', so be it. Personally, had I wanted children, which I didn't, my limit would have been two.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

shoptilyadropagain — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:39:58 GMT

Mom is 1 of 8; dad was 1 of 5. I had one brother and I have 0.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:41:23 GMT

If a couple wants a large family, and they have the means to care for them, it is their choice. As long as they are well fed, have good medical/dental care and are happy I see no issue.

DH and I had 2 kids. He came from a large family (9) and he thought 2 was enough. His siblings all had 2 kids with the exception of 1 sister that had 3.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

haddon9 — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:43:21 GMT

My DH and I each come from a famiy of two children and I have two.

My parents each came from a family of three siblings...however my grandmother who came from the old country in eastern Europe was one of 13 siblings.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

SeaMaiden — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 14:56:29 GMT

@tobes wrote:
@SeaMaiden Try not to judge.

@tobes not a judgement... just fact

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

beckyb1012 — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 15:04:37 GMT

@SeaMaiden wrote:
@tobes wrote:
@SeaMaiden Try not to judge.
@tobes not a judgement... just fact

Most would account your original post as an "opinion" and not a "fact." Hard to state somone's having no control as a fact if you do not walk in their shoes.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

BlueFinch — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 15:16:44 GMT

My mom was one of eleven children, living hand to mouth, in the remote hills of KY. For the environment, all the kids did fairly well. Some unbelievably so. But, still...

They knew full well, the hardships of such a large family, during troubling times. You live and learn. For these kids, they weren't about to relive such times.

None of mom's siblings had more than two children, themselves. At least two, with no children.

Of course this is a personal choice, but I feel people should only have as many children as they can adequately provide for, financially and emotionally. Even when providing the best, it still takes a village.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

itsmagic — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 15:17:04 GMT

My dad was an only child which I thought was unusual for the time he was born (1923) but I never asked him about it. However when I did our family tree a few years ago I figured out that his mother (my grandmother) was 40 when she had him. So now it makes more sense.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

Spurt — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 15:22:15 GMT

My dad was an only child, and on my mom's side....1 sister and 2 brothers.....

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 15:26:49 GMT

I knew I was right to have 2 kids (48 months apart) after being in a friend's kindergarten class one day. She was made for teaching kindergarten. Always smiling and nothing bothered her. They were heading to recess.

I was there less than 5 minutes and it was,

Kid#1, Mrs. Smith, he took my glove,

Kid#2, Mrs. Smith, he pushed me,

Kid#3, Mrs. Smith, I can't find my shoe,

Kid#4, Mrs. Smith, I have to pee.

now add 15 more little voices all at once. My head was spinning as I left and she was just smiling and dealing with the chaos.

Oh, she only had 1 child herself.

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

Foxxee — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 15:33:20 GMT

In the past children were needed to help on the farm and, of course, there were no birth control measures.

However, times have changed. There are serious issues to consider before deciding on a large family.

Can the parents afford them without needing financial assistance from outside sources?

Overpopulation is becoming a concern. For those in disbelief, do a bit of researching on this subject.

Will we have enough land, resources, jobs, and can we supply enough food for them? What is occurring to the environment including encroaching on animal habitat?

Re: Big Family or Small Family.

LindaSal — Mon, 31 Aug 2020 15:53:42 GMT

My mom came from a family of 10. Yes she lived on a farm and they all had to work it.

My dad came from 17 but this includes step brothers and sisters. I didn't know that grandfather at all but evidently he just kept on having kids with other wives. (which was very unusual in those years) Regardless those were different times, myself I have only two and as much as I adore them, that's about all I can handle, LOL.