topic Re: Do You Remember When in Community Chat

Do You Remember When

Jordan2 — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:12:20 GMT

Do you remember when you were young and stupid? When your parents bought you things and you lived under their roof. I had no regard for my parent’s money, I left the lights on, I was wasteful, throwing things out, after all it wasn’t my money I was wasting. Then your an adult and start to realize the value of money, how expensive things are, and having to make choices ( case in point I wanted to go to Trader Joe’s but needed to buy my prescription medication, the medication won out so no Tj’s for me). My parents are both gone now, I wish I had the chance to apologize to them for being a brat who didn’t care about leaving the lights on, for the sacrifice on their part to buy me the things I needed.

Re: Do You Remember When

SeaMaiden — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 17:21:33 GMT

@Jordan2 Yes. I see and feel the same way you do. I have become my Father who was so concerned with our dirty bare feet on his nice carpets... one time he called me at my friends house to come right home and TURN OFF MY BEDROOM LIGHT. I had no regard for him paying the bills... never gave it a thought. I was selfish and rude.

Now I am just like my father..... I told my husband to use the front door yesterday to go out front instead of opening the garage door to go out... it costs 4 cents to open and shut the garage door on the electric bill...

Re: Do You Remember When

RetRN — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:17:31 GMT

I also have to plead guilty. I should have been more appreciative and grateful for their sacrifices.

Re: Do You Remember When

Laura14 — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:18:48 GMT

I wasn't allowed to be a brat. My single mother worked three jobs after the divorce and we didn't have much but we appreciated what we had.

I've been working since the age of 16. If anything, I've been told to live a little every now and then.

Re: Do You Remember When

noodleann — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:26:05 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
Do you remember when you were young and stupid? When your parents bought you things and you lived under their roof. I had no regard for my parent’s money, I left the lights on, I was wasteful, throwing things out, after all it wasn’t my money I was wasting. Then your an adult and start to realize the value of money, how expensive things are, and having to make choices ( case in point I wanted to go to Trader Joe’s but needed to buy my prescription medication, the medication won out so no Tj’s for me). My parents are both gone now, I wish I had the chance to apologize to them for being a brat who didn’t care about leaving the lights on, for the sacrifice on their part to buy me the things I needed.

No. I was never stupid. We were told about lights and water, even though we weren't billed for them because of our living situation, and we kids wasted neither. You always turned the light out as you left a room and never left lights burning. We certainly didn't wantonly discard anything unless it was trash. Clothes were handed down, remade, etc. Our parents, specifically my mother, hammered home the New England maxim, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."

Re: Do You Remember When

deepwaterdotter — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:34:19 GMT

At sixteen years old I had a part time job. I was expected to use a portion of my pay to contribute to the household expenses. This resulted in my feeling that it was a good idea to turn off unnecessary lights and close doors to keep the heat from escaping. When I moved into my own apartment at 20 years old, I was prepared to budget my income to meet my expenses. My parents training has carried me in good stead throughout my life.

As to being a "brat", I'm sure I had my moments. I've never been shy about speaking my mind.

Re: Do You Remember When

BLH — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:31:51 GMT

I wouldn't apologize to my parents for anything. They had money and constantly complained about turning off the lights and wasting hot water. I couldn't wait until I got married and I could run all the hot water I want. They wouldn't used the air conditioning in the car because it wasted gas. I put my air conditioner on full blast. They were both miserable people.

Re: Do You Remember When

catter70 — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:32:02 GMT

I think we were all that way when we were young. You need to get a few miles on you to figure it all out. I still can hear my Dad say, " the power company doesn't know you're not using that light you left burning in the other room. I still heed that lesson.

Re: Do You Remember When

grandma2pkmh — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:34:10 GMT

@Jordan2 Not me but my grandchildren. They have everything and usually want for nothing. I'm happy that my children have done well in their adult life.

For me, I grew up with very little material things but lots of love. To this day I look at price tags before I even consider if I will buy an item. I hope that before I depart this world I can just go into a store and say I want that and buy it without looking. But, oh well !

Re: Do You Remember When

Cakers3 — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:35:16 GMT

@Laura14 wrote:
I wasn't allowed to be a brat. My single mother worked three jobs after the divorce and we didn't have much but we appreciated what we had.

I've been working since the age of 16. If anything, I've been told to live a little every now and then.

@Laura14 Same only I started working at 15 with a work permit.

DS started at 14 with a work permit.

GS pays his own bills, and lives at home.

Re: Do You Remember When

Deree — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:46:24 GMT

No I can't say I was a brat or ever took anything for granted. My mom was orphaned at a young age and grew up learning the value of things and how to be self-sufficient. My dad was an immigrant and worked hard to go from the mail room to president of his own company. My parents had to work very hard for everything they provided to us so I guess I learned my parents' values of being practical, saving, and knowing the value of things. I never got an allowance and never asked for one. If there was something I really wanted I would ask for it but this hardly ever happened. Happy with what I had which was less than the other kids. I also started working in my teens during summer vacation because I wanted to. First job was at age 13. I remember having to get working papers.

Re: Do You Remember When

SilleeMee — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:41:53 GMT

I was raised 'in the Army'...a military brat. Things were never taken for granted and us kids were reminded of that often. My mom was an immigrant from Japan where she lost everything in the war. Us kids knew at a very young age what it meant to work hard for what you need and then work even harder for the things you want.

Re: Do You Remember When

Porcelain — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:59:15 GMT

I got quite a bit of what I wanted as a child (but never a horse, which turned out to be a good thing) and teen and did not understand much about money. I just had plenty of it and exchanged it for things I wanted and then waited for holidays and special occasions to receive the rest.

As a young teen I did not even cash all my babysitting checks because I had no pressing reason to. I enjoyed working, but I didn't care about the money. It was very much a charmed bubble existence. I wasn't a brat per se, (looking back, I was surprisingly generous, mimicking my parents, and did not demand the things I wanted) more like completely unaware.

I had a lot of learning and catching up to do once I got completely out on my own and had to support myself. A lot.

Edited to add: There was a huge downside to all this. My parents were not happy. My dad had an amazing founding position in a company, that he hated. My mom was pushed into a superficial role she hated and had to put her true talents to one side. And they both tried to shield me from all of it, but I could still sense the disconnect and dis-ease. Money wasn't a problem, but other things were.

But no one cared if I left the lights on.

Re: Do You Remember When

Witchy Woman — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:53:33 GMT

@Jordan2

I understand what you are saying. While I was never allowed to be disrespectful or bratty, I didn't have a full appreciation for my parents' sacrifices or concerns.

We were expected to help around the house and clean, and I paid a little "rent" when I started to work. But, I didn't have a deep understanding that they were week to week sometimes and, we were likely "poor" .....as were most of the families/kids in my small town. I'm thankful I didn't realize that last part until I was older.

I feel I was able to "repay" them when my husband and I built them a lovely new home adjoining ours and they moved in rent free. Although, my mother was sad to leave her home, I was able to be here for them as they aged and needed care.

Re: Do You Remember When

ECBG — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 17:04:40 GMT

@Jordan2 I know exactly what you're saying. You weren't mean, you really didn't have the ability to see "the BIG picture".

Re: Do You Remember When

Mombo1 — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 17:07:55 GMT

@RetRN wrote:
I also have to plead guilty. I should have been more appreciative and grateful for their sacrifices.

@RetRN My parents were always very frugal...but truthfully we never really knew it. That is just the way it was. As kids we were happy to have a bike and friends to play with. Years past and at one point..my sister and brother and I were in college at the same time. My parents paid for our education in full and none of us had college debt. So all those years of living with frugal parents was more than a blessing. I am grateful for all their sacrifices too.

Re: Do You Remember When

SeaMaiden — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 17:09:44 GMT

@BLH wrote:
I wouldn't apologize to my parents for anything. They had money and constantly complained about turning off the lights and wasting hot water. I couldn't wait until I got married and I could run all the hot water I want. They wouldn't used the air conditioning in the car because it wasted gas. I put my air conditioner on full blast. They were both miserable people.

You are calling a lot of people miserable then.... I would call someone with no regard for conserving or mindful of waste "selfish". But, different strokes for different folks and one extreme or the other is not good. There is a happy medium.

Re: Do You Remember When

Sooner — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 17:17:00 GMT

I grew up in a very very poor part of the country. I don't think many of us took anything for granted.

Some kids I went to school with basically had nothing. Wore the same clothes all the time, often didn't have shoes. Lived in shacks you wouldn't keep a dog in now 'cause you'd go to jail if you did.

If you never lived that way or at least grew up around it, I don't see how you could ever relate to that. There's poor than there is REALLY poor, desperate. There is a huge difference.

Re: Do You Remember When

Foxxee — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 17:30:33 GMT

Yes, my father was nutsy about electricity.

For me, it's not how wealthy one is, it's respecting the value of money, not wasting it by leaving lights on all the time.

It's the same thing with food. People throwing pounds of hamburger in the trash just because they didn't get to it or forgot it was in the freezer.

Re: Do You Remember When

MoonieBaby — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 17:32:40 GMT

@BLH

I'm glad you live your life on FULL BLAST - enjoy it - it's your ball of wax now.

I can assume you are NOT miserable, but happily enjoying the fruits of your labor, and a long hot shower!

AMEN!