topic Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much in Community Chat

Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

Jordan2 — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 13:50:17 GMT

I know I say I'm sorry entirely too much. I am sorry for things that aren't my fault! If I'm in a supermarket looking at a product, if I think I'm in someone's way, I say I'm sorry. Usually they say don't be your good. I don't think men have this problem, they don't feel as often as women the need to apologize.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

Sooner — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 13:58:11 GMT

NEVER worry about being polite. Ever. Be thankful you are that person.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

reiki604 — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 14:00:03 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
I know I say I'm sorry entirely too much. I am sorry for things that aren't my fault! If I'm in a supermarket looking at a product, if I think I'm in someone's way, I say I'm sorry. Usually they say don't be your good. I don't think men have this problem, they don't feel as often as women the need to apologize.

I used to preface many comments with sorry. Now I use sorry, not sorry but...... and state my point or opinion . It's societal conditioning that women's thoughts and beliefs were not important or even valid and felt the need to apologize for expressing herself. It was/is not considered 'ladylike' to voice an opinion and needed an apology for doing it. Thankfully times are changing although it is taking far too long.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

Imaoldhippie — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 14:05:59 GMT

Yes I do and have. Years ago I even told a police officer thank you for giving me a speeding ticket. Geesh!

For me it became a habit. I must have said it all the time because one time a co-worker told me I was the sorriest person he knew.

I consciously try not to say "Im sorry" all the time now. Only when I make a boo-boo.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

Dusty1 — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 14:07:25 GMT

@Sooner I agree. Never be sorry for being kind or polite.

I would rather be that person than an oblivious behind that just barges along doing their thing & never bothering about who they inconvenience.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

fancy pantsy — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 14:08:47 GMT

many years ago i had a friend (may she rest in peace) who used to say, as an introduction, "hi, i'm sherry and i'm sorry" because she said it so much that she felt it was easier to just get it out of the way right up front LOL

i don't think that i say it too much, but i am comfortable saying it when it's appropriate/necessary.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

Sooner — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 14:10:59 GMT

@Dusty1 wrote:
@Sooner I agree. Never be sorry for being kind or polite.
I would rather be that person than an oblivious behind that just barges along doing their thing & never bothering about who they inconvenience.

@Dusty1 I don't think saying I'm sorry means you are a wimp, doormat, or pushover. It means you are sorry for whatever. No harm no foul.

You can still be assertive, confident, feel wonderful about yourself, stand up for yourself, say no and mean it, and have a very positive self image, and say I'm sorry and mean it--for things big and small.

Anyway, it is sort of like "how are you" now isn't it?

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

spiderw — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 14:36:39 GMT

Reiki604

Well said and so true.

Thankfully things are changing but there are still those who resent women when they are strong and have valid intelligent opinions. Those people are insecure with themselves. I think we need to know the difference between saying I'm sorry when it is necessary and not for every little thing. Having self esteem certainly helps.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

QVCkitty1 — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 14:39:57 GMT

There is a middle ground between overapoligizing and being rude. I do think women apologize too much, and I have been guilty of it.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

KBEANS — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 14:54:25 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
I know I say I'm sorry entirely too much. I am sorry for things that aren't my fault! If I'm in a supermarket looking at a product, if I think I'm in someone's way, I say I'm sorry. Usually they say don't be your good. I don't think men have this problem, they don't feel as often as women the need to apologize.

Jordan, That's me in the supermarket! I've been trying to use excuse me, I'm in the way, but notice that sometimes by saying something, you, yourself create a situation where the other person takes on attitude because you started with the apologies Can't win.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

cotton4me — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 14:57:09 GMT

Funny this topic should come up. I caught myself doing this yesterday. I live in a retirement community. They don’t want people gathering because of social distancing. There was a lady in the lobby getting ready to go out and people were behind her waiting for her to move forward. In the meantime, people were also entering so there was a bit of a logjam. The director came in and bellowed that there were too many people and to move. I was the only one that said sorry and I had nothing to do with the backup!

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

ThinkingOutLoud — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 15:06:41 GMT

The title is a generalization so no, I don't think that's the case -though I'm sure it applies to some.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

Mindy D — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 15:25:40 GMT

Yes, to the OP's question. I find incessant, unnecessary "I'm sorry," and other apologetic statements from women. Sometimes I have to tell friends, "Stop apologizing," when I'm speaking with them. These aren't apologies made in reference to actual transgressions. It's more of a pattern of their speech. I don't mind apologies for legitimate reasons, but most of the time, it's just women speaking the words as a part of general conversation. Over apologizing can sometimes seems insincere or can lessen the meaning when true apology is called for and is given.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

freakygirl — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 15:32:03 GMT

i say sorry enough. i know when i have to apologize and when it's appropriate to. i do say thank you a lot though. like it's never enough.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

GCR18 — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 15:35:17 GMT

I know I've noticed I've been saying it a lot. Not sure when it started being overused. I have been catching myself and trying to use something different.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

geezerette — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 15:46:53 GMT

@cotton4me wrote:
Funny this topic should come up. I caught myself doing this yesterday. I live in a retirement community. They don’t want people gathering because of social distancing. There was a lady in the lobby getting ready to go out and people were behind her waiting for her to move forward. In the meantime, people were also entering so there was a bit of a logjam. The director came in and bellowed that there were too many people and to move. I was the only one that said sorry and I had nothing to do with the backup!

@cotton4me

I've been in similar situations and also am the first to say "I'm sorry". But I do it deliberately. I often will speak louder than normal in hopes that the others (who really are at fault for whatever) will see what they're doing and rectify it. And apologize while they're doing so.

Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. 😊

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

Pezzie — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 15:51:48 GMT

I don't. If I make a mistake, I will say I am sorry. If I am shopping and I find I got in someone's way, I generally say excuse me, let me get out of your way. So far, everyone has been gracious and have said, no, you are not in the way, or you are fine, or words to that effect. I think the tone of one's voice helps convey if a person is sincere, and people tend to respond in kind.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

IMW — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 17:13:29 GMT

I am so guilty of this. Even when I knock into a chair I find

myself saying sorry.
My dh hardly ever says sorry, even when he should.

IMHO definitely a woman thing.
I remember my friend and I discussing at 12 yo whether we would deliberately let a guy win---- fragile

ego etc. I'm now 68.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

Greeneyedlady21 — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 18:07:21 GMT

I do, and I'm so tired of being that person who apologizes for things I shouldn't apologize for. I've been working on that and many other things for a few years now. I apologize when I feel I should, that's different.

I apologize for crying around others after losing both my parents now. I know why I apologize for crying, and I need to stop doing that. There's nothing wrong with it whatsoever.

In general, in my life experience, women apologize more than men do. It's conditioned and expected, in many families and in society at large. I have two brothers who never apologize for anything. They believe they never do or say anything wrong and/or hurtful.

Re: Do Women Say I'm Sorry Too Much

Porcelain — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 18:15:43 GMT

I'm sorry, but is it okay if I kinda don't totally agree about saying sorry too much? Sorry in advance!

I think there are social lubricant sorrys that are the equivalent of saying "I'm fine" when someone says "How are you" and don't really mean a lot. And there are verbal tic sorrys that are as annoying as uptalking. These are completely different than real apologies.

I do think some women are taught to speak more uncertainly and deferentially than some men. That does hurt those of us who do it at work and in positions of leadership. But beyond that, women are such a diverse group of people that I can't really make a claim about all of us like we're a giant bundle to hang a label on.