topic Re: family issues in Community Chat

family issues

Pooky1 — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:00:33 GMT

just wondering what other people think? i know someone that has 2 sons and 2 daughters but 1 son has past away. and there have 2 grand daughters and 2 grand sons. 1 of the grand son is her sons son. so in there will there house is going to her son and his son.and everyone else gets nothing. what everyones opinion?

Re: family issues

goldensrbest — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:03:28 GMT

Perhaps the ones that helped her ,is getting the house,i don't know,could be other reasons.

Re: family issues

ahoymate — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:03:49 GMT

You will get lots of opinions on this. But, this kind of stuff happens all the time.

Re: family issues

Miss Pepsi — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:04:54 GMT

It is a tough one and everyone has an opinion but no one really knows what is going on in others relationships except those involved. Anything else is just hearsay.

I would hope that others that might have an opinion would keep it to themselves as it is no one elses business.

Re: family issues

RetRN — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:06:36 GMT

I don't even understand the original post so cannot comment.

Re: family issues

NicksmomESQ — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:07:27 GMT

@Pooky1 Family dynamics are complicated.We don't have all the details.Maybe that person is worried about her deceased son's child & wants to make sure he's taken care of. Maybe this person doesn't get along with her other children.
Who knows what the real story is? I try not to judge in these situations unless I have both sides of the story & all the facts.Which seldom happens.

Re: family issues

mspatmac — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:13:24 GMT

Their estate to bequeath as they see fit. Not for anyone to judge.

Re: family issues

kaydee50 — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:18:45 GMT

We don't have all the facts and don't know the family so no point in making any sort of judgment call.

Re: family issues

Porcelain — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:24:12 GMT

Not enough information. Maybe there isn't much besides the house to give away. We don't even know if the daughters wanted or expected anything.

Re: family issues

Sushismom — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:26:22 GMT

My opinion is it's none of my business to whom the house is left.

Re: family issues

Still Raining — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:29:33 GMT

This is so not your business and it is odd that you would even know this.

Re: family issues

Mominohio — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 20:34:56 GMT

The original post is rather unclear to me, but I get the idea that the estate isn't being divided evenly or maybe grandkids of the deceased son are left out?

At any rate, people are under no obligation to leave their children anything, or to leave equal shares of their estate. In my opinion it is based on what the needs of the children are (is one disabled?) what the relationships have been over the years, and honestly which adult children or grands stepped up to the plate and did all the work of helping, caring for, supporting etc. the elderly person(s).

Inevitably in every family, one child bears the biggest burden of helping with or caring for aging parents, while some of the others do less or nothing at all.

I see no issue with dividing an estate to meet the needs or to pay back those in the family that did the most for the person, or to help those that might need it the most. I see no reason to second guess when someone leaves a person out totally. We never really know the true dynamics of the story.

Re: family issues

fthunt — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 21:01:59 GMT

I got lost at the ...there and there.....intersection.

Re: family issues

jlkz — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 21:15:45 GMT

Each person is entitled to leave whatever they want to whomever they want. It is their choice period.

Fairness has nothing to do with it: Fairness is relative because one doesn't know the facts as the bequeathing person knows or feels them.

Re: family issues

Love my grandkids — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 21:50:29 GMT

@Pooky1 Sorry but because your post is rambling not enough punctuation I can't decipher what you mean.

In any case, it's none of my business so I have no thoughts on what other families do with their property, if that is what you are talking about, but I'm not clear on that.

Re: family issues

occasionalrain — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 22:12:54 GMT

It's unkind to criticise another's post. If you don't understand it, no reason to respond.

I, however, did understand it. The person is leaving their house to their only remaining son and his son, their grandson. Nothing to their two daughters or to their other grandchildren.

Perhaps the daughters both have a house and financial security and their son has neither.

Re: family issues

manny2 — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 22:15:06 GMT

@fthunt wrote:
I got lost at the ...there and there.....intersection.

@fthunt Well at least she gave you something to do today. Your unkind remark is very telling about the kind of person you are.

I'm guessing you are not so perfect, and probably make mistakes too.

Re: family issues

goldensrbest — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 22:23:24 GMT

I knew exactly what she was saying, and so did others ,without leaving a unkind remark.

Re: family issues

RedTop — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 22:44:56 GMT

@ nearly 65 years old I've learned that MANY people's last wishes do not seem "fair" to an outsider.

In my early days I worked for an attorney and saw adult children fight their parents last wishes in court.

I've seen daughter's receive personal items, but excluded from property and money, "because they married well".

I've seen the favored child get it all.

I've seen the problem child receive nothing after their last parent dies, since they were the child who struggled, and received the most financial help thru the years.

And I've seen children excluded for reasons such as the parents didn't like their son or daughter-in-law.

My farm grandpa's will split the family, and there was years and years of ugliness and hard feelings that siblings took to the grave. As an adult, I feel my Grandpa did the right thing. I was also proud of how my Dad never expressed his thoughts one way or the other, and never took a side.

Re: family issues

SuhseK — Sat, 01 Aug 2020 23:04:42 GMT

@Pooky1 wrote:
just wondering what other people think? i know someone that has 2 sons and 2 daughters but 1 son has past away. and there have 2 grand daughters and 2 grand sons. 1 of the grand son is her sons son. so in there will there house is going to her son and his son.and everyone else gets nothing. what everyones opinion?

--------

I'm sorry, I don't want to sound mean, but, your post is rather hard to follow, due to lack of punctuation, and it's so vague.

Since, I'd need a lot more information, to make a judgement, and than we never really know what goes on inside families, and NOMB, I'll pass.