topic Re: When you live alone in Community Chat

When you live alone

gidgetgh — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 13:15:27 GMT

I don't mean this to be a sad thread at all. It's just reality. And eye opening.

I realize I'm still in a state of shock because my husband passed away, but I've started tackling a little bit of the purging of things.....non personal things. And it really is an eye opener. I'm not ready to tackle most of my husbands personal things yet. And my stepsons will be coming over to go through all that to take what they want in mid August. After they take what they want, my sister and best friend are going to help me with the rest.

So I live alone now. When looking at the things we own, even though I'm not into clutter at all, and never have been, and our house is really very "lean" compared to others, it just astounds me the amount of stuff we have that I don't need now. That WE really didn't need before.

Like plastic storage containers. I'm a Tupperware brand girl and one brand from The Container Store. You know how much of it I've used in the past few months? None. Zero. So even though I go through the plastic stuff on a regular basis and purge, I went through it all again last night and several pieces are going to Goodwill today and I still have too much, but I like the pieces so the rest will stay....for now. But seriously....

We have 2 roasting pans. I have my favorite and always use it and the other just was sitting there so out it goes. Same with the cookie sheets. I have 2 that I use. No need to keep others. I'm never going to use them.

Even before my husband passed away, way before, I had significantly reduced the amount of towels and sheet sets we have. Just don't need that many. Didn't want that many.

I have significantly reduced the number of throws we have. We had too many for 2 of us. I donated several. Still had too many. I donated 4 more a few weeks ago. I think I'm ok for now, but seriously, how many throws does a 1 or 2 person family need?

I have substantially reduced the number of purses I had. Just don't want that many anymore.

I think the whole stay at home with Covid had something to do with this. I mean, we were home for months and it really made me look at the excess in our lives. And now that my husband is gone, I just don't want so much stuff.

Anyway, random musings this morning.

Re: When you live alone

suziebee1 — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 13:21:24 GMT

@gidgetghI am doing the same. I think as a society, we are going more toward the minimalistic lifestyle than before. Going thru Covid and such, we all realize that we really don't care WHAT we have as possessions. I think it is a good thing to do - get rid of things you don't need and let someone who can use them have them. I Freecycle and Goodwill a lot of things, and Facebook has some pages in my area for giving things away to people who need them. It is a great feeling - both of helping someone who needs something and also lightening the load.

Sounds like you are doing as well as can be expected after the loss of your husband. I wish you much peace.

Re: When you live alone

I am still oxox — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 13:21:40 GMT

@gidgetgh

Sending hugs and prayer over the loss of your husband, I have read some your posts in the past, may his memory be a blessing as you go about your days

@gidgetgh wrote:
I don't mean this to be a sad thread at all. It's just reality. And eye opening.

I realize I'm still in a state of shock because my husband passed away, but I've started tackling a little bit of the purging of things.....non personal things. And it really is an eye opener. I'm not ready to tackle most of my husbands personal things yet. And my stepsons will be coming over to go through all that to take what they want in mid August. After they take what they want, my sister and best friend are going to help me with the rest.

So I live alone now. When looking at the things we own, even though I'm not into clutter at all, and never have been, and our house is really very "lean" compared to others, it just astounds me the amount of stuff we have that I don't need now. That WE really didn't need before.

Like plastic storage containers. I'm a Tupperware brand girl and one brand from The Container Store. You know how much of it I've used in the past few months? None. Zero. So even though I go through the plastic stuff on a regular basis and purge, I went through it all again last night and several pieces are going to Goodwill today and I still have too much, but I like the pieces so the rest will stay....for now. But seriously....

We have 2 roasting pans. I have my favorite and always use it and the other just was sitting there so out it goes. Same with the cookie sheets. I have 2 that I use. No need to keep others. I'm never going to use them.

Even before my husband passed away, way before, I had significantly reduced the amount of towels and sheet sets we have. Just don't need that many. Didn't want that many.

I have significantly reduced the number of throws we have. We had too many for 2 of us. I donated several. Still had too many. I donated 4 more a few weeks ago. I think I'm ok for now, but seriously, how many throws does a 1 or 2 person family need?

I have substantially reduced the number of purses I had. Just don't want that many anymore.

I think the whole stay at home with Covid had something to do with this. I mean, we were home for months and it really made me look at the excess in our lives. And now that my husband is gone, I just don't want so much stuff.

Anyway, random musings this morning.

Re: When you live alone

Anonymous032819 — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 13:27:01 GMT

@gidgetgh

I hear you, and I'm sorry for your loss.

I am slowly cleaning out my dad's bedroom, and if it weren't for the stupid virus, I would be a lot further along than I am.

Thrift stores aren't open, so I can't donate.

it's probably going to be sometime next year before I can get all of his stuff out and gone.

I hate this stupid virus for many reasons, and that is just one of them.

Re: When you live alone

Mombo1 — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 13:27:13 GMT

@gidgetgh May I first say that I am sorry for your loss. I also live alone and am at that point in life where I have to decide between "want vs. need". I have 3 very young granddaughters and I have more fun getting things for them. Plus they always seem to find something at my house that they think they need to take home. Fine with me. 🤗 So I agree with you...I just don't need that much stuff anymore.....

Re: When you live alone

Bri369 — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 13:44:11 GMT

We sold our big home and moved to a more manageable house last year. I had to significantly reduce. As I was going through so many things - honestly, a lot of it was my mom's that my sister couldn't deal with right away - I was struck with how much I overbuy whether it's on sale or I'll think I'll use it in the future or it's an impulse buy.

Just getting rid of all that lightened my load significantly. I do not like excess or clutter. I don't like hanging on to things just because. I really have to love it or need it. It's a constant state of purging.

Nothing gives me more anxiety than looking at drawers and closets stuffed to the brim with things. When I open a drawer, I want to see order. When I open the closet, I want to be able to get to it right away and not dig through things.

If I haven't used something in over a year, out it goes. If I find something and forgot that I even had it, out it goes.

My home is homey and not stark or bare. I have things that I love and use all over. Because of Covid, my kids have been home all these months and they have their own stuff. It has to be stored in a way that is pleasing to me.

Yes, the Container Store is my very close friend. LOL

Re: When you live alone

Jordan2 — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 13:52:19 GMT

@gidgetgh I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I'm not sure how long ago he passed, just don't do anything too drastic. Make sure you keep some mementos, things that will remind you of your husband. It is very nice of you to have your stepsons come over to look through their father's things ( sometimes relationships between step kids and step parents aren't good). I think donating clothes to a charity that can pass on the clothing to those in need is great. You should take some time with this, I know from experience how difficult it is to go through a loved one's possessions. Again, condolences to you.

Re: When you live alone

Still Raining — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 14:09:31 GMT

Sending warm thoughts to you. A huge change in life.

I have done three big purges and afterwards they felt good. During, not so much. It is all about pleasing you now, so keep things you love.

The other difference is now no one can tell you what to do. It is all on you. Can get good and bad.

Be gentle.

Re: When you live alone

AngelPuppy1 — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 14:16:36 GMT

@gidgetgh

My condolences to you -- the hardest thing in the world to experience!

I know what you mean about purging things. I haven't been retired too awfully long but now that I have had time to be home a good while, coupled with the virus - more spare time -- I am at the point where I don't need so much of the stuff that I needed when I worked. And, so much stuff I thought I HAD to have, just does not matter to me any more. It's freeing in a way to come to this conclusion and start weeding out things and either donating them or tossing them. Less clutter in the home equals less clutter in the brain! Blessings!

Re: When you live alone

goldensrbest — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 14:28:38 GMT

Storage containers are wanted by many people,throws, and blankets can br given to animal rescues.

Re: When you live alone

gidgetgh — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 14:38:01 GMT

@goldensrbest wrote:
Storage containers are wanted by many people,throws, and blankets can br given to animal rescues.

@goldensrbest - I don't throw things out that can be used. I donate them.

Re: When you live alone

godi — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 15:19:06 GMT

@gidgetgh god bless and take one day at a time. Your whole life is upside down it's ok to have depressed feelings and times of shock. (((((hugs))))) to you.

Re: When you live alone

cotton4me — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 16:53:46 GMT

I’m sorry for your loss. (((Hugs)))

We recently sold our home of 40 years and moved to a small retirement apartment. We had a lot of stuff. Thank goodness for Salvation Army and 1800gotjunk. Both helped in the process. And just an FYI, 1800gotjunk donates all usable items. They were very helpful and professional.

We got rid of most of our furniture, linens, supplies, dishes, pots and pans, etc. I like living with less. It’s very freeing. I think we tend to fill whatever space we have. I’m trying not to do that here. Our living room is very sparse, and I hope to keep it that way.

The only drawback was that the virus hit in the middle of trying to downsize and move. I was getting rid of extras – food, paper products and even Lysol wipes! I wish I had those now.

Re: When you live alone

MomCat — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 16:11:45 GMT

First of all, bless you and so sorry for your loss. I've been working on this same project for awhile now, and have gotten rid of so much. Good riddance! My biggest problem when it comes to clutter, is I am a crafter. I laugh when I look around my house now and see nothing but junk and paint. That seems to make me smile. I think twice before buying anything for the house, or even clothes. I seriously have enough clothes to last the rest of my life. How can you improve on leggings and t-shirts?? That's almost a uniform for me. LOL.

Re: When you live alone

bonnielu — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 16:22:42 GMT

Very sorry for your loss. You are very lucky to have family that cares and is willing to help.

I have been going through all my things as well. We are both seniors. Before the Covid hit I was "only twelve," felt like that because of all our dancing and all our traveling. Seems the lack of activity has aged us and in my case has made me feel really ancient. Everything hurts.

I am going through things as well. I have also cut down on buying. No need to have more when I am trying hard to have less. Hard work, sentimental things since I got all my mothers and grandmothers "everything." My daughters want none of it so sentimental does not cut it anymore.

I am going to give you some advice. Just get rid of it with the help of someone who doesn't care that much about it. And for your own happiness GET OUT.. WHEN YOU CAN AND BE WITH PEOPLE. I am sure when the inevitable happens the surviving one of us should continue dancing.

Re: When you live alone

alicedee — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 16:31:51 GMT

@gidgetgh I was married for over 40 years, and left a three bedroom house. My apartment is small, without a ton of storage.

I did what you are doing....went through the stuff I was able to bring with me, and donated what I don't use. Living alone, I just don't need ... or use....multiples of so many things.

And I continue to look at things, getting rid of stuff that doesn't serve this stage of my life.

You have been in my thoughts and prayers...I know this is a tough time for you. Sending a cyber-hug.

Re: When you live alone

Mominohio — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 16:43:26 GMT

There are so many phases of life, and with them, a different idea of what is needed, and what is wanted. We usually start out with little, accumulate through the years of increasing income, child rearing etc. Then one day, we realize we don't really need all that we truly did need at another time and place in our lives, and it's time to get our things more in scale with our lifestyle today.

I'm the farthest thing from a minimalist, and don't think I'll ever be one, but I'm thinning out too, have been for a couple of years now.

I wish you peace as you begin to let go of your husband's things. Take your time, and do what you feel is right, when you feel it is right, and it will happen as it needs to.

Re: When you live alone

gidgetgh — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 17:01:03 GMT

@bonnielu wrote:
Very sorry for your loss. You are very lucky to have family that cares and is willing to help.

I have been going through all my things as well. We are both seniors. Before the Covid hit I was "only twelve," felt like that because of all our dancing and all our traveling. Seems the lack of activity has aged us and in my case has made me feel really ancient. Everything hurts.

I am going through things as well. I have also cut down on buying. No need to have more when I am trying hard to have less. Hard work, sentimental things since I got all my mothers and grandmothers "everything." My daughters want none of it so sentimental does not cut it anymore.

I am going to give you some advice. Just get rid of it with the help of someone who doesn't care that much about it. And for your own happiness GET OUT.. WHEN YOU CAN AND BE WITH PEOPLE. I am sure when the inevitable happens the surviving one of us should continue dancing.

@bonnielu - I feel suddenly very old also. Combination of the Covid and my husband's death.

Re: When you live alone

Porcelain — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 17:12:09 GMT

When I lived alone, one great thing about it was that my whole place was mine to do with however I wished. I never had to consider, oh the livingroom shouldn't be toooo girly. Or oh my partner can't stand that color. Or we have to work the room around his everloving giant leather chair. You can express yourself completely in the space, as well as tangibly honor your memories of your loved ones in any ways you want to.

Of course, now might not be the right time for that attitude, but maybe let a backburner part of the old magoo simmer on it for a while. I think you are on the right track with letting go of the things that don't serve you now.

Re: When you live alone

gidgetgh — Wed, 29 Jul 2020 17:26:14 GMT

@Porcelain wrote:
When I lived alone, one great thing about it was that my whole place was mine to do with however I wished. I never had to consider, oh the livingroom shouldn't be toooo girly. Or oh my partner can't stand that color. Or we have to work the room around his everloving giant leather chair. You can express yourself completely in the space, as well as tangibly honor your memories of your loved ones in any ways you want to.

Of course, now might not be the right time for that attitude, but maybe let a backburner part of the old magoo simmer on it for a while. I think you are on the right track with letting go of the things that don't serve you now.

@Porcelain - yeah, I'm kind of sticking with non emotional stuff. Tupperware, Pyrex, household stuff. I did donate 3 pairs of his old eyeglasses yesterday at our eye doctor, but no way am I going to part with the pair he was wearing currently. No way.