topic Re: Just lost our son in Community Chat

Just lost our son

Athome2 — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:18:46 GMT

I read here a lot and don’t know where else to go right now but our dear youngest child, our son, was found dead of a drug overdose on Thursday. He had aspbergers and also sever mental illness (diagnosed with PTSD, bipolar and schizophrenia) and was trying to get himself clean at a sober house. He’d been to many meetings but no doubt thought he’d use just one more time and so we’ve lost him. I’ll see my precious boy in a coffin on Monday and I’m sobbing as I write this. Our lives have been bombarded in the last few years with my husband’s leukemia and disability, my father’s death here at our house six weeks ago (peaceful thankfully) and now this. I guess I’m just asking if there are grieving mothers out there- I know there are. I’m doing what I need to do right now and thank God I have three other children, all doing well, all loving him and us and helping and I will be contacting compassionate friends. I guess I just wanted someone to know he’s gone and that he mattered even though he seemed like he was “weird” because of all of his illnesses. He fought so hard and was so hurt and so brave.
He was only 26. I posted this in mom to mom also. I hope that’s ok

Re: Just lost our son

CANDLEQUEEN — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:24:22 GMT

@Athome2 . First of all I would just like to say I am so sorry for your loss!I am not a grieving mother, so I can't say I know how you feel, but I am a mother. Your pain must be almost unbearable and I am sorry and I will pray for you.....Take good care and get through this one step at a time, and one day at a time, and if you are a religious person pray!

Re: Just lost our son

goldensrbest — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:29:20 GMT

Oh my, that is so heartbreaking, so very sorry, right now you are in shock, take it minute by minute,for now, i lost a son in 1998 ,he was 27, but i can tell you it is so hard to get in in your head ,it has happened, my heart goes out to you.

Re: Just lost our son

Athome2 — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:28:21 GMT

Thank you @CANDLEQUEEN, I so appreciate your sympathy and prayers. I’ve been praying daily and will continue and keep hoping and believing that God has him and that he’s finally experiencing the love and acceptance that he so wanted here but could never see due to his autism. It was like a wall between him and the world.

Re: Just lost our son

Athome2 — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:31:01 GMT

@goldensarebest, thank you for responding. I knew there would be others and I’m so sorry for your loss. Your son was so near the age of mine and I know he was just as precious to you then than the day he was born, more so probably since you knew him as an adult. I just keep missing my son’s sweet, innocent self, even though he’d been so hurt and abused by the world.

Re: Just lost our son

KingstonsMom — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:31:11 GMT

@Athome2

My deepest sympathies for the loss that you and your family are going through.

Re: Just lost our son

NicksmomESQ — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:31:41 GMT

@Athome2 OMG I'm so very sorry for all your pain & the loss of your beautiful son. Being a mother I can't fathom what you're going through.💔

I hope you have a strong support system. Your friends on these boards are here for you.💐

Re: Just lost our son

Athome2 — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:32:06 GMT

Thank you IG, you’re very kind and I appreciate it.

Re: Just lost our son

lenapecci — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:35:27 GMT

@Athome2 I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. I cannot imagine how much your are hurting right now. As a mom my heart aches for you and your family. May your beautiful son Rest in Peace.

Re: Just lost our son

Denise in PA — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:35:59 GMT

At Home I have not suffered like you are at this very moment but watched my younger sister go through this a few years ago when she lost her son to drugs. Please know my heart breaks for you and your family. I can't imagine the feelings/emotions you are experiencing today. Praying for you - and your extended family. May peace and comfort surround you day by day.

Feel free to come back here and share anytime.

Re: Just lost our son

Oznell — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:36:41 GMT

Oh, @Athome2 , am so very sorry for your loss of your precious son. So many struggle and struggle with mental illness and substance abuse, and the family suffers right along with them. Have no doubt he was brave, as were you as well. Our family has had such struggles, and so many others.

Take care, @Athome2 -- know that others are thinking of you and praying for you and your family.

Re: Just lost our son

goldensrbest — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:36:56 GMT

@Athome2 , You are so nice, yes your son is at peace now, your journey through this grief has just started, it is a long one , again so very sorry.

Re: Just lost our son

Athome2 — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:38:33 GMT

@NicksmomESQ thank you so much. I’m not normally the teaching out kind of person but this is more than I’d ever imagined. I’ll try to come back here and thank everyone but we’re choosing where he’ll be laid to rest today so I’ll be busy. We’re buying three plots and he’ll be between my husband and me. Our other children have spouses and soon families but he had only us really. I was his caregiver, although he desperately didn’t want it that way. He was just so I’ll that, even with care and medication, he just couldn’t understand things. This was his hopeful start in a town near us.

Re: Just lost our son

Athome2 — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:40:12 GMT

Thank you @Denise in PA. My prayers for your sister. It’s horrific. The could have and should have thoughts in having are awful and I know this is normal but it’s so hard.

Re: Just lost our son

lkat — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:41:27 GMT

@Athome2 I am not a grieving mother, but I am a mother and we lost our beloved nephew/godson to drugs a few years ago. His own father (my husband's brother) had also died due to drugs so we helped raise him and loved him so much. He was such a kind, sweet boy. It is so hard when you watch someone you love trying to get better and then slipping back. My nephew would stay clean for months and we'd start to feel hopeful and then he would have a slip. It makes you feel so helpless.

I'm also very sorry for your husband's illness and your father's passing. It's all so much for one person to deal with. I hope that you get strength from your family and friends. Please post here whenever you need to, there are lots of kind people here that will listen and offer words of support.

Re: Just lost our son

threecees — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:42:55 GMT

@Athome2 So sorry

Re: Just lost our son

esmerelda — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:43:24 GMT

@Athome2 I am so sorry you’ve had so much pain, especially the loss of your son. I hope sharing here will bring some peace. My thoughts are with you. ❤️

Re: Just lost our son

Athome2 — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:47:46 GMT

@Ikat, I’m so sorry for the loss of your nephew. This is a “club” I’ve never wanted to be in. Like your nephew, James would be clean for so long and even held a couple of jobs for a few weeks at a time but then a relapse. I’d think this would be “it” and he’d be ok but his mental state and also the disease of addiction would manifest. Since he was about 14 it’s been a roller coaster with stress and care and nothing working.

Re: Just lost our son

alicedee — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:48:57 GMT

@Athome2 Oh, of course your precious son mattered...and will always matter. He battled as best he could, and I truly believe God has him safe, well, and happy in His arms. You will be together again.

I am so sorry for the heartbreak you and your family are going through. You will be in my prayers, and please know there are always some good people here to talk to.

🌷🙏

Re: Just lost our son

MorningLover — Wed, 15 Jul 2020 12:49:34 GMT

@Athome2 My heart aches for you and your family. Losing a child is a traumatic event. Although no words can really help to ease the loss you bear, I send you my heartfelt prayers that you may find the strength you need to get through each day.