topic Re: A Sad Birthday in Community Chat

A Sad Birthday

Jordan2 — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:05:39 GMT

So today is my first birthday without my mother who died in January. I don't tell you this to elicit birthday wishes, it is just a way to get my feelings out. I cried yesterday dreading today, it isn't very happy for me. My mother would always give me a card with money inside. We would disagree about the amount, she would want to give me too much. I would always give her back some, she would say you do so much for me you deserve it. Then she would say I want you to buy something nice and show me. It has been almost six months since she passed, while I don't cry everyday ( I am crying as I write this), it is still so hard. There is nothing like the love of your mother, she is always in your corner no matter what. I was watching the Macy's Fourth Of July show, Tim McGraw was singing a song I Called Mama, which made me cry, I wish I could call my mother.

Re: A Sad Birthday

beckyb1012 — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:10:43 GMT

I understand your pain and it will get better. My first without my Mom was on Christmas Eve, then of course the next day my first Christmas without her. Then her first birthday to be gone was New Year's Day. That week was almost as bad the time I lost her earlier that year in May. She is still with you in your heart, but it is the hardest thing to not have our Mom's with us no matter how old we get.

Re: A Sad Birthday

momoftwo2007 — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:12:46 GMT

@Jordan2 Thank you for sharing your memories of your mother on your birthday. Sending virtual hugs and love to you.

Re: A Sad Birthday

threecees — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:13:01 GMT

I am sorry @Jordan2. That is good to write about her and express all that

she meant to you. I am still lucky to have my Mom with me. I help her out

as much as I can.

Re: A Sad Birthday

Bhvbum — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:16:11 GMT

This has been one of the realizations I have had as an adult, I've lost my parents, my only sister, my husband, close family, good good friends, and it never gets easier. I guess it's something you just don't realize is going to happen to you but it does.

And I have another family generation growing up who will never know the great people we did. I am sorry for you loss.

Re: A Sad Birthday

golding76 — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:17:46 GMT

Jordan,

I am so sorry for your loss and understand your grief as I have lost my mother, too.

But we are joined by a couple other bonds. I, too, lost an important and very close family member in January of this year, and today is my late husband's birthday.

So, I am feeling sad myself today.

You must be a lovely person since you have the same birthday as my dearest husband. He was a joy.

Light a candle for your mother's soul (if this sort of ritual speaks to you) and try to feel her presence. In my world and way of thinking, she is watching over you and is saddened by the fact that you are sad.

Try to think of your wonderful memories together and smile.

Re: A Sad Birthday

Kachina624 — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:18:56 GMT

My mom will have been gone 17 years next month and I still miss her every single day. There are a million gossipy things I'd love to tell her. I can't help butwonder what both my parents would say about the mess in which our country now finds itself.

Re: A Sad Birthday

Still Raining — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:22:32 GMT

Please just treasure all your birthday memories. They sound like nice ones that you will have forever.

It took several years until I came to terms with her not making me a cake, but now that is OK too.

Re: A Sad Birthday

haddon9 — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:22:32 GMT

You are very lucky to have had a warm, close and loving relationship with your mom. Not everyone does...I wish I had that.

Re: A Sad Birthday

Pook — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:24:00 GMT

@Jordan2 It's a good thing to allow yourself to feel feel sad. I know I start my birthday every year with a good cry and my mother died 1989. Everything will be looked at as before and after but that is just how it is now. Let it out and don't ever feel you need to get over it.

Re: A Sad Birthday

lkat — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:26:23 GMT

I totally understand how you are feeling. The first year is exceptionally hard, especially on important days in your life. I lost my mom in 2011 and I still miss her and think about her often. It took me a couple of years, but now when I think of her I tend to smile instead of get sad. I can't count how many times I cried the first year when I thought of her. Now I think of how lucky I am to have had so many years with her and to have been able to have such a loving relationship with her and the thoughts bring me peace rather than sadness. I hope that you can find that peace at some point too @Jordan2 .

Re: A Sad Birthday

MalteseMomma — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:27:31 GMT

Sending lots of {{{{{hugs}}}}}} your way <3

Re: A Sad Birthday

lavenderfields — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:32:34 GMT

I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand exactly how you feel. My mother (and grandmother) always gave me a birthday card with money, too. Holidays and birthdays just aren't the same now. I lost my mother 10 years ago in February. I sobbed every single day for a year and a half after she passed. She was the one person in the world that was always on my side. She loved my sisters and me more than anyone else in the world. She was always there to support us in anything we chose to do. She always listened without judgment and comforted me when I needed it. When life gets hard I still cry for her sometimes. I thank God that He chose her to be my mother. I am blessed to have had her love and support in my life and am thankful for the time that I did have with her here on this earth. It will get easier but you will always miss the love of your mother. May The Lord comfort you and give you peace today.

Re: A Sad Birthday

CatLady72 — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:36:58 GMT

The first year of losing a mother is the hardest especailly when special events ( as birthdays and holiday) roll around........I miss my mom every day.......Its okey to feel sad...

Re: A Sad Birthday

Fifi1 — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:39:59 GMT

I miss my parents every single day - but those firsts are always the hardest without them physically being here. I loved going to the mailbox and on my birthday would be a special card from my parents, then my dad and now none. It will never feel the same, however I know how much they loved me and I was very lucky. Take care today and I will say a special thought for you today. hugs.

Re: A Sad Birthday

KBEANS — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:41:43 GMT

Your mom sounds like a very special mom. It's very hard to lose a mother, along with all of her love! Know that she is always with you, and that as your mother she would rather it be the way it is, than the opposite way. She tried to prepare you, for every moment of your life, by showing you her unconditional, undying love for you everyday! Cherish those memories, and the love you shared. Don't be afraid to grieve for her for as long as it may take.

Re: A Sad Birthday

vermint — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:47:29 GMT

@Jordan2 I'm so sorry for your loss! My mom's been gone for 11 years, and still the days I miss her most are on her birthday and mine. We would always call each other on those days, even if we didn't "celebrate" until another day. She always sent me the most beautiful cards, too!

Re: A Sad Birthday

Jordan2 — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 19:51:36 GMT

Thank you to everyone for the kind words and wishes, they made me cry! Even though we have never met, I feel like I know a lot of you, I always feel this is a safe place to say what I need to.

Re: A Sad Birthday

BlueFinch — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 20:37:28 GMT

Your mom is still with you on your birthday. She tucked a treasure into an invisible, but almost undeniably there, celebratory envelope for you. It's called memories. They're a gift that will never leave you.

She sounds like a very special mom who raised an equally special daughter. Thanks for sharing your feelings with us, as many of us have been there, too.

We get you AND your feelings. Grieving takes time, but eventually the tears will evolve into warm smiles, when thinking of your mom.

Before the day is over, do something nice for yourself. Even if it's just a long, hot bath, then settling in for a favorite movie. Something to comfort self.

Re: A Sad Birthday

Catty2 — Mon, 13 Jul 2020 21:05:14 GMT

My mother has been gone almost 13 years and I miss her every day. I understand how you feel. Take care.