topic Re: Learning to Let Go in Community Chat

Learning to Let Go

Anonymous032819 — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 23:10:10 GMT

It's something that we all go through, sooner or later, especially if your family is gone.

It can be a hard, difficult, and painful journey, but it defines us as to who we are.

Today, I went to the storage unit that I have been renting (yes, I know, a big money waster) and went through the things that I want to keep.

Photos and home movies that are on film(!), my mom's report cards, dishes and stuff that my grandmother had, like candlestick holders, my mother's college diploma, etc, I want to keep.

But I can't keep everything.

Am I expected to haul everything around for the rest of my life?

I don't think that either of my parents would want that.

I have about a dozen boxes of stuff that I want to keep.

The rest, I just don't have the room for.

Sometimes I hate being an adult.

Re: Learning to Let Go

rms1954 — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 23:17:07 GMT

I'm married to someone who can't let go of anything. He even went so far as to make trips to my father's house (without me or my permission) and took things which I later found. Each time I'd find something I let him know how upset I was. He would promise that that's all he took, until I'd find something else. He would lie each time I would find something. He had no business doing that. You should know what you need to hold onto and what to let go of.

Re: Learning to Let Go

Laura14 — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 23:20:45 GMT

Nothing is a waste if it helps you through the process. That was tough today I know. ❤️

Re: Learning to Let Go

NicksmomESQ — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 23:23:45 GMT

It's hard to let go of the people you love. My mom passed over 20 years ago. A lot of her stuff is in my attic.I can't bring myself to part with all those memories.Go easy on yourself.

Re: Learning to Let Go

twinsister — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 23:48:40 GMT

I can relate to how you feel. Two years ago, I was forced to leave the home that had been in my family for 70 years (I had lived in it for 64 years). I took some things of my parents, aunts and grandmother, but I couldn't take everything I wanted. I have slowly gotten rid of some of those items, since I am in a much smaller home, but feel bad about doing it. Have to keep reminding myself that I can't hold on to these items forever.

Re: Learning to Let Go

Sooner — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 23:54:39 GMT

I let go of almost everything I had collected from 4 closed houses in the last 6 years. It feels so good.

I am not a museum. Nobody else cares about this stuff. It doesn't bring them back or make them closer.

It roots me out of my house. It takes up space, causing chaos and clutter, it has to be dusted, it fills up your attic, it makes it hard for you to have things you love and cherish.

Get rid of most of it and live life unburbened.

Re: Learning to Let Go

deepwaterdotter — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:09:56 GMT

@Sooner wrote:
I let go of almost everything I had collected from 4 closed houses in the last 6 years. It feels so good.

I am not a museum. Nobody else cares about this stuff. It doesn't bring them back or make them closer.

It roots me out of my house. It takes up space, causing chaos and clutter, it has to be dusted, it fills up your attic, it makes it hard for you to have things you love and cherish.

Get rid of most of it and live life unburbened.

I SO agree with what you posted.

Re: Learning to Let Go

Azcowgirl — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:10:14 GMT

Do I ever understand what you are saying.It can take many

years to get to a place where you can finally say, ok I'm ready to let go of that .Especially when you had a dad that saved everything. It drove my Mom crazy. Now when I do purge another item I think my Mom must be smiling down from heaven ☺️.

Re: Learning to Let Go

bikerbabe — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:11:28 GMT

I’m not very connected to things anymore. I got rid of most everything from my parents years ago except a couple of plastic containers.

Re: Learning to Let Go

Janey2 — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:14:08 GMT

I can understand wanting to hold onto a couple of things. The rest, they only "things." It is your memories that are important.

Re: Learning to Let Go

hooked on books — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:18:00 GMT

@Anonymous032819, oh boy, do I ever agree with the last line in your OP!!!!! Ugh!!!!!😵

Re: Learning to Let Go

sandy53 — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:23:08 GMT

OP: Thank you for expressing your pain so clearly. You are in a tough situation. Just remember that you don't need "stuff" to remember people. Memories are in you heart, not in boxes in a storage unit, basement. or attic.

Re: Learning to Let Go

tansy — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:25:55 GMT

Take pictures of some of the items and let the stuff go.

Weren't you going to look for a new place?

Re: Learning to Let Go

goldensrbest — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:32:58 GMT

Things do have memories attached to them, for some of us, others just do not think that way, i know when i go,no one will really want some things.

Re: Learning to Let Go

Mimi 1883 — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:36:46 GMT

@Sooner wrote:
I let go of almost everything I had collected from 4 closed houses in the last 6 years. It feels so good.

I am not a museum. Nobody else cares about this stuff. It doesn't bring them back or make them closer.

It roots me out of my house. It takes up space, causing chaos and clutter, it has to be dusted, it fills up your attic, it makes it hard for you to have things you love and cherish.

Get rid of most of it and live life unburbened.

@Sooner You're so pragmatic; I love it! 👍 Maybe you could help me when I clean out my basement?! 😄

Re: Learning to Let Go

homedecor1 — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:47:01 GMT

@Anonymous032819

I'm sure 99% of us have been there! During the pandemic stay at home I finally got realistic and serious about the "stuff" I've been moving around with me for 20+ years😳

I downsized 7 years ago but really didn't 🤷‍♀️ I had attic full of boxes from my move and containers of "winter" clothing stacked neatly in my closet. Haven't wore "winter" clothes in years! Boxed them and took to Hospice thrift store as soon as they opened.

Plus, I had my "treasures" from my parents, grandmothers, etc. Honestly, what was I going to do with her china, silverware, knick knacks -- which have been boxed for 30+ years🙄. Asked my siblings if they or kids wanted it -- nope right to donation center that stuff went (No real value besides memories)

Then, I seriously looked thru all pictures and stuff saved from kids. Contacted my kids to let them know their "treasures" were coming to them -- guess what -- they didn't want except pics.

Next, all my dishware and more -- all boxed ready for sale.

To me it was "freeing" and to this minute haven't bought anything new just a shower curtain...I must be running a fever🤔🤔😉

Re: Learning to Let Go

Mimi 1883 — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 00:42:30 GMT

@Anonymous032819 Sorry to hear you having to go through something so painful. Have had to that, and it is hard.

We had a storage unit when we lived in Florida. With no basements, it was our only option and was not a waste.

Re: Learning to Let Go

Sooner — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 03:09:32 GMT

@Mimi 1883 wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
I let go of almost everything I had collected from 4 closed houses in the last 6 years. It feels so good.

I am not a museum. Nobody else cares about this stuff. It doesn't bring them back or make them closer.

It roots me out of my house. It takes up space, causing chaos and clutter, it has to be dusted, it fills up your attic, it makes it hard for you to have things you love and cherish.

Get rid of most of it and live life unburbened.
@Sooner You're so pragmatic; I love it! 👍 Maybe you could help me when I clean out my basement?! 😄

@Mimi 1883 LOL!!!! No. I just wanted a life.

Re: Learning to Let Go

Mimi 1883 — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 03:17:42 GMT

@Sooner wrote:
@Mimi 1883 wrote:
@Sooner wrote:
I let go of almost everything I had collected from 4 closed houses in the last 6 years. It feels so good.

I am not a museum. Nobody else cares about this stuff. It doesn't bring them back or make them closer.

It roots me out of my house. It takes up space, causing chaos and clutter, it has to be dusted, it fills up your attic, it makes it hard for you to have things you love and cherish.

Get rid of most of it and live life unburbened.
@Sooner You're so pragmatic; I love it! 👍 Maybe you could help me when I clean out my basement?! 😄
@Mimi 1883 LOL!!!! No. I just wanted a life.

@Sooner Oh, darn. 😄 I could use your sensible and logical style! Have a good evening.

Re: Learning to Let Go

KarenQVC — Sat, 20 Jun 2020 03:22:51 GMT

@Anonymous032819 The photo idea was great. Make a tiny photo album of things you want to remember and let everything else go.