topic Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding? in Community Chat

Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

Mimi 1883 — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:31:35 GMT

I don't really know what to make of this, or what to do. The couple involved, and most relatives/family friends, live about 1,000 miles away.

Yesterday, I received another bridal shower invitation for our niece. She was supposed to be married early last month (May,) but due to the virus, they postponed the wedding until November.

We initially received a bridal shower invitation for a date in March, and sent her a very generous monetary gift. We did receive a thank you card from her. Later, it was announced that the shower was being canceled due to the virus. We weren't attending, but they did let us know. They later announced that their wedding, to be held early last month (May,) is being postponed until November.

Now, I received another invitation for her bridal shower (July,) along with a list of stores/shops where they are registered. Do I send another gift? Ignore the invitation? My husband and friends say to "ignore" it. I feel bad if I don't send something...again.

I just wonder what happened to all the gifts from the first shower announcement? We can't be the only people who gave a gift.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

mom2four0418 — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:35:59 GMT

You have already sent a gift for the postponed shower, correct? Why would you send another one?

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

ROMARY — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:36:47 GMT

I'm thinking that the one generous first shower gift is more than enough.

Since she lives 1,000 miles away, and you most likely won't be able to attend, I'd ignore the second shower.

Just send a RSVP that you won't be able to attend.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

beckyb1012 — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:36:52 GMT

Your husband is very wise. Ignore!!

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

Katcat1 — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:37:49 GMT

@Mimi 1883 I would send the new bridal shower invitation back with a note that you previously sent her gift (monetary) but never heard back from anyone. It is so rude to not thank people for their gifts. I would NOT send another gift. If you feel obligated that is your guilt.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

maximillion — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:38:05 GMT

It is still the same bridal shower, just at a postponed date. Since you won't be attending and have already sent your gift, and received a thank you note, nothing further is necessary. You were invited a second time, in case you were able to attend the new date. Even if you did attend, you still would not have to bring a gift, since you have already done so.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

KingstonsMom — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:40:17 GMT

Sounds greedy to me, I would ignore.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

Mz iMac — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:41:18 GMT

Agree w/the OP above me. If you feel bad, send another card w/a reminder of your previous generous gift. That should make you feel better.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

KingstonsMom — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:42:17 GMT

@Katcat1 wrote:
@Mimi 1883 I would send the new bridal shower invitation back with a note that you previously sent her gift (monetary) but never heard back from anyone. It is so rude to not thank people for their gifts. I would NOT send another gift. If you feel obligated that is your guilt.

@Katcat1

The Op said she DID receive a thank you for the gift in March.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

ROMARY — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:45:21 GMT

I just thought of something........

'Could be' that the bridesmaids are sending out the invitations.

Perhaps they didn't / don't know that the O/P previously sent a very nice, generous gift for the initial shower that was cancelled.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

Laura14 — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:45:38 GMT

Sounds like someone made a mistake and didn't update the guest list. It happens, especially in these upside down times.

I personally would send a congratulations card with a note that you hope she can put your gift to good use.

I am sure she'll get an oh yes I remember moment and you might even get a second thank you note back.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

gabstoomuch — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:46:28 GMT

It might be someone new putting it on this time. I would do as someone suggested. Send this invite back with a note. You got a thank you note from her so she may not even know your name is still on the list.

I wouldn't ignore. You need to get your name off the list

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

Katcat1 — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:47:04 GMT

@KingstonsMom I read that wrong. Thanks. However, I would not send another gift. The first shower was cancelled and she sent a monetary gift. People want advice but in the end, they will do whatever they want so my response is just my opinion.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

alicedee — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:47:31 GMT

Your niece received and sent a thank you note for your original gift. I don't think she expects a second gift...I would think the invitation was meant in case you could just attend the party on the rescheduled date.

She sounds like a thoughtful person.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

maximillion — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:47:51 GMT

You must also remember that the person who is having the bridal shower is not the bride herself. The person having the shower has no idea that you have already sent a gift to the bride for the shower. Your niece, the bride, has already sent you a thank you note. I would reply to the RSVP for the new date, but that is truly all that is necessary in this instance. You will have another opportunity to give or send a gift for the wedding itself.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

mspatmac — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:52:49 GMT

Since the initial shower was cancelled and this is the replacement most likely the same people are hosting and most likely just used the same list. They may not be aware that you sent a monetary gift prior to knowing the shower was initially cancelled. I would not ignore the invitation but decline with a note, sorry I can't attend but hope you all have a wonderful time. No further gift is required.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

Sooner — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:53:16 GMT

I think if you live away and are obviously not attending, ONE gift covers the shower and wedding: Should the "opportunity" arise to gift both.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

Love my grandkids — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 19:56:55 GMT

@Katcat1 The OP stated she *did* get a thank you for the monetary gift.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

kaydee50 — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 20:04:57 GMT

No, I would not send another gift and she should realize that you already gave her one. Yes, I would ignore it.

Re: Two Bridal Shower Gifts For One Wedding?

maximillion — Fri, 19 Jun 2020 20:05:47 GMT

@Sooner wrote:
I think if you live away and are obviously not attending, ONE gift covers the shower and wedding: Should the "opportunity" arise to gift both.

If you are invited to the shower, then you will also receive a wedding invitation. Whether or not you want to send a gift is always up to the individual, but since this is her niece, she may want to do so. Or better yet, go to the wedding, if possible. It's a great chance to see and catch up with family members that you don't normally visit, since she lives 1,000 miles or so away.