topic Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette. in Community Chat

Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:20:22 GMT

I quit years ago, but the last couple days have been doozies and if I had some I'd be lighting up.

Of course, there is the virus stuff and that is horrible in and of itself. Staying in is annoying but outside of bored I'm okay on that front.

A year ago this week my husband was in the hospital and after 5 days developed complications and died. The first anniversary of his death is in a couple days.

My sister is ill. Stage 3 biliary cirrohis of the liver. They think it's caused by an auto immune disease. It's causing blood vessels in her stomach to bleed. She's had to get blood several times and now iron infusions. Of course, she is very weak. It also caused her congestive heart failure.

Yesterday she said she fell backwards and landed on her back. Her DH who is not healthy and now has a blood clot in this leg went to help her up. She was no help because she has very little strength to assist him. It took an hour to get her on the couch. Every time he tried to move her her she made him stop because it hurt her back. She has said her legs were wobbly. She has a walker but was using a cane.

God forbid they call 911, a neighbor or her youngest daughter and SIL who live 20 mins. away. She is in a lot of pain but won't calll her Dr. Her reasoning is what can they do? Gee, I don't know, make sure nothing is broken.

Oh, and I was warned not to tell her daughter "because Amy will get hysterical." Sis has downplayed the seriousness of her illness for the same reason. What if she needs a liver transplant, you can't hide that.

The daughter is married w/a teenage kid and 41 freakin years old. Yes, it's scary but for Pete's sake, but life just sux sometimes. Hysterical doesn't help anything.

Anyway, sorry to unload. I got up on the wrong side of the slab. I'm tired and aggrevated, and worried.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

Miss Pepsi — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:23:24 GMT

My heart goes out to you for all that you are going through. You have every right to feel the way you do.

Virtual hugs going your way.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

aroc3435 — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:29:38 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2 I know that urge. I am praying for you, your family, and especially your sister right now.

Try to distract yourself from gloomy thoughts as much as you can. The anniversary of youe husband's death will be particularly difficult.

When this rain clears try to go for a walk, even if just on your property. Find a tv show or a good book, meanwhile.

I am at the point, many times, during this long slog of just living one moment at a time in the now--very challenging--but trying just to see the positive aspects that exist and dismissing all the current worries and negatives.

With warm regards,

aroc3435

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

alicedee — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:32:59 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2 I'm so sorry you are going through such a sad time. Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my losing a beloved sister ....I know how hard those anniversaries can be.

Your sister sounds very stubborn. If she doesn't want help I guess that's her right...but it's not nice of her to unload on you, leaving you to worry. If it were me I would tell my niece anyway.,,,but that's just me!

I'm sure your daughter is having a sad time, too. Maybe you two can go for a drive, sit outside with coffee enjoying the birds...fix a special meal, and of course play with your kitty! Sending a prayer your way.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

chiclets — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:34:06 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2

It would not just be a cigarette I would be wanting, it would be at least one bottle of vodka to go with it.

This is an emotional time for you. Hoping the best for your family too.

Be kind and gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

Boomernichols — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:36:33 GMT

Please do NOT go back to smoking. I am sorry for your family situation and some days we can feel overwhelmed with a sense of hopelessness. I will lift you and your family up in prayer for healing and comfort in the days ahead. The forum here is a wonderful outlet for people to reach out for support and we are here for you.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:42:15 GMT

@alicedee I would never tell her daughter. Not my call. I don't care if DS unloads but I stopped asking questions and commenting because she gets snippy.

I know she doesn't feel well at all and is very worried so I listen, hang up and bang my head on a wall.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:44:30 GMT

@Boomernichols I won't, but man I want to.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

Meowingkitty — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:53:16 GMT

Remember to play with little Petunia. Kitties are great healers. Don't smoke because it can affect her lungs too.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

Mom2Dogs — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:56:08 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2 Oh my, you do have a lot on your plate....dealing with the anniversary of the death of your husband would be enough to have to deal with, let alone your sisters illness....take care. You are entitled to your mood.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

DiAnne — Fri, 22 May 2020 14:56:40 GMT

I understand that feeling. I quit smoking years ago after many attempts. I still sometimes have that urge come over me.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

Bhvbum — Fri, 22 May 2020 15:02:29 GMT

reply to: @CrazyKittyLvr2

I am so sorry for all of the stress you have right now, but if you think for a moment, you will realize that you are probably happy that you are not smoking right now and quit years ago.

You are much more able to handle this stressful time and ones to come because your health is better, because you don't smoke. Stay healthy.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

Laura14 — Fri, 22 May 2020 15:05:04 GMT

I can not believe that was a year ago already. Hugs and prayers to you and everyone needing a boost these days.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

NicksmomESQ — Fri, 22 May 2020 15:07:14 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2 I know how you feel.Life can really sock it to you sometimes. Please try to hold on.You're only human.You're allowed to vent & feel sorry for yourself. We all do it.Sometimes it helps to unload.💐

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Fri, 22 May 2020 15:12:23 GMT

Thanks to all of you for your kind responses. I figure it's better to come here and complain than give my poor sister what for.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

alicedee — Fri, 22 May 2020 15:22:32 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

@alicedee I would never tell her daughter. Not my call. I don't care if DS unloads but I stopped asking questions and commenting because she gets snippy.

I know she doesn't feel well at all and is very worried so I listen, hang up and bang my head on a wall.

I understand, @CrazyKittyLvr2 . You are a good sister.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Fri, 22 May 2020 15:33:23 GMT

@alicedee I try to be a good sister. She is a much nicer person than I am. I;m the oldest.

I never had any health problems until I hit 65. I have always felt guilty because I've had a much easier life than she did.

She was born with double club feet and had many surgeries starting at 2 weeks old. She got teased in school because of her legs and orothopaedic shoes (it was the 50s).

I got pregnant at the drop of a hat, she had fertility issues and took forver to have kids.

She's diabetic.

We won't even discuss differences in spouses. Let's say I was very lucky.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

NickNack — Fri, 22 May 2020 15:57:38 GMT

I'm so sorry @CrazyKittyLvr2 . You're going through an awfully lot right now. At this time it just makes it that much harder. I know the anniversary of your husband's death will be very hard. My heart goes out to you.

It sounds like your sister needs to be in the hospital, but I know there's no point in trying to convince her to go. I will keep you in my prayers.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

CrazyKittyLvr2 — Fri, 22 May 2020 16:06:02 GMT

@NickNack Gosh, how are you? I am sorry I haven't inquired about you on the Pet forum. How is Henry? Your sister?

My sister has to go to the hospital for blood work next week, maybe they will notice she is not moving well and is in pain.

She is so darn stubborn. The thing is, if it were me she would be on my doorstep nagging me to see a Dr.

Re: Boy, I Want A Cigarette.

NickNack — Fri, 22 May 2020 16:10:31 GMT

@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:
@NickNack Gosh, how are you? I am sorry I haven't inquired about you on the Pet forum. How is Henry? Your sister?

My sister has to go to the hospital for blood work next week, maybe they will notice she is not moving well and is in pain.

She is so darn stubborn. The thing is, if it were me she would be on my doorstep nagging me to see a Dr.

@CrazyKittyLvr2 Yes, I remember she came and stayed with you when you had your knee surgery. At least she wanted to. Maybe you convinced her not to come. I do hope they notice at the hospital, but if she's only getting blood work they probably won't have the authority to do or say anything.

My sister started her radiation treatments Monday. She has 25 treatments (five days a week) for five weeks + one day for Memorial Day. She's feeling perfectly fine though.

Henriy is as sweet as ever. He's asleep in my bedroom right now, but he spent a lot of time with me this morning. I'm doing better every day, but I'm always thinking about Frankie. Thanks for asking.

I hope Petunia at least keeps you entertained.