topic High School Graduation Gift Question in Community Chat

High School Graduation Gift Question

beach-mom — Fri, 15 May 2020 05:26:10 GMT

Two girls - one is a neighbor and close friend, and we are good friends with her parents. One is the daughter of friends we like but don't see much. We saw the families more for parties and gatherings when these girls were little. Then we all got busy with different things. DD babysat them both for years, until she left for college. We see the one girl all of the time and visit with her, asking about school and such. We see the second girl from time to time, but not much. She didn't know DD when she ran into her during the holidays. The girl's mom said, as we all have probably said sometime, "Oh you remember DD." The two girls are best friends - they do everything together and both attended the same private school.

We want to send the one girl a graduation check, but I feel funny sending the second girl just a card, since we did see her a lot when she was little. I'm thinking of sending them both a check in the same amount, just so there are no hurt feelings.

Would you send the second girl a gift too? TIA!

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

Kachina624 — Fri, 15 May 2020 05:30:46 GMT

I'd send the second girl a check or gift card for $20., I'd be more generous with the girl I knew better.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

haddon9 — Fri, 15 May 2020 08:04:23 GMT

@Kachina624 wrote:
I'd send the second girl a check or gift card for $20., I'd be more generous with the girl I knew better.

This is what I would do too.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

godi — Fri, 15 May 2020 11:05:52 GMT

I also agree with @Kachina624

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

Janey2 — Fri, 15 May 2020 11:19:08 GMT

I would send the second graduate a lesser gift. I would send a check or gift card in the amount you re comfortable with spending.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

LindaSal — Fri, 15 May 2020 12:34:01 GMT

We try to keep our gift giving to family members. Of course we are generous when friends kids get married with the showers and weddings. But we do draw the line.

Graduation is important but I feel it's more the family's obligation for gifts. JMO

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

beckyb1012 — Fri, 15 May 2020 13:16:51 GMT

I would let the girl you care more about know that you do but still acknowledge the other's achievement. I always do a Starbucks gift cards for High School graduates with a note about upcoming "all nighters" at college. Maybe the check for the first and a gift card for the second, you do have those fond memories of her as a little girl. This class of graduates needs our recognition more than past years.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

sunshine45 — Fri, 15 May 2020 14:19:44 GMT

i would do cash/check for the girl you see often.

i would do a gift card or cash/check in a smaller amount for the girl you do not see often.....maybe $25 - $30?

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

ThinkingOutLoud — Fri, 15 May 2020 14:32:21 GMT

I agree with the others about doing different amounts so I'll address the 'hurt feelings' you alluded to. Hopefully they know that discussing specifics of gifts received (or not) is tacky so hopefully that won't happen. I would also think they're aware that you have different relationships with them so I wouldn't worry about it.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

Peaches McPhee — Fri, 15 May 2020 15:44:36 GMT

I would not send the second girl any money or a card, to be honest.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

Jordan2 — Fri, 15 May 2020 16:01:09 GMT

@beach-mom if you can afford to I would send both girls a check. If the families know each other, if word got out in passing you sent one girl a check and not the other, it may make for hard feelings.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

GrailSeeker — Fri, 15 May 2020 16:23:46 GMT

@beach-mom wrote:
Two girls - one is a neighbor and close friend, and we are good friends with her parents. One is the daughter of friends we like but don't see much. We saw the families more for parties and gatherings when these girls were little. Then we all got busy with different things. DD babysat them both for years, until she left for college. We see the one girl all of the time and visit with her, asking about school and such. We see the second girl from time to time, but not much. She didn't know DD when she ran into her during the holidays. The girl's mom said, as we all have probably said sometime, "Oh you remember DD." The two girls are best friends - they do everything together and both attended the same private school.

We want to send the one girl a graduation check, but I feel funny sending the second girl just a card, since we did see her a lot when she was little. I'm thinking of sending them both a check in the same amount, just so there are no hurt feelings.

Would you send the second girl a gift too? TIA!

If it were me, I'd go with your first instinct and send them both a check in the same amount.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

Texas Gray Wolf — Fri, 15 May 2020 18:14:10 GMT

I don't mind giving gifts but what happened to getting a "Thank You" card from the recipent? I'm amazed at how many of my family members (don't live close by) take the time to send out shower, wedding & graduation announcements but do not take the time to send out Thank You cards......

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

Kachina624 — Fri, 15 May 2020 18:46:31 GMT

@Texas Gray Wolf Thank yous are an issue for another thread.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

Texas Gray Wolf — Tue, 26 May 2020 20:57:31 GMT

@Kachina624 That's your opinion but Thank you notes go hand-n-hand with gift gifting.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

Kachina624 — Wed, 27 May 2020 03:46:31 GMT

@Texas Gray Wolf Thank yous have nothing to do with gift giving; they are an issue for gift receiving. If you don't have high expectations, you won't be disappointed.

Re: High School Graduation Gift Question

Islandqueen1 — Wed, 27 May 2020 04:03:22 GMT

I agree. Both girls the same amount. That small amount of money will probably make the girls feel happier than you would by keeping it. It just isn't worth possibly hurting someone when it all comes down to 10-20 dollars, sleep better and do what you will be proud of later. These kids have went to school almost all of their lives and the plans they had for celebrations and even saying their final goodbyes have been shattered. I really do feel badly for them.