topic Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in in Community Chat

Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

Lali1 — Wed, 06 May 2020 16:27:48 GMT

I was having trouble sleeping last night and got to thinking. My mom from the time she had kids until she died was always trying to diet and hated her body. I also know someone who died when she went in to have one stomach stapling removed to have another such surgery. My mil on and on I can think of women who spent much of their lives hating the body they were in and being miserable about it.

i like to walk and do some exercise but for the last year and a half after an injury I have become lazy. I decided I'm going to do my best in the mindset I'm in and try my very best to stop hating myself for how I look. I'm going to focus on healthfulness and not how I look in the mirror.

Anyone else feeling the same?

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

catter70 — Wed, 06 May 2020 16:40:44 GMT

It's a challenge. I was a pretty heavy smoker for many, many years.Nine years ago I had to have surgery and had to quit for 2 weeks prior. I went on the patch and decided I was done now with smoking. At that time I was a size 4/6.Of course, from the smoking, I have COPD and can't really do much. So between quiting smoking and meds, I have gained 40 lbs. and can barely stand to look at myself in a mirror. I used to be able to eat anything I wanted but that's no longer the case.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

Lali1 — Wed, 06 May 2020 16:44:51 GMT

@catter70 wrote:
It's a challenge. I was a pretty heavy smoker for many, many years.Nine years ago I had to have surgery and had to quit for 2 weeks prior. I went on the patch and decided I was done now with smoking. At that time I was a size 4/6.Of course, from the smoking, I have COPD and can't really do much. So between quiting smoking and meds, I have gained 40 lbs. and can barely stand to look at myself in a mirror. I used to be able to eat anything I wanted but that's no longer the case.

I know someone who is dealing with the same issues as you. She can't do much exercise because of copd from smoking for years. She did the keto thing and lost a lot of weight. All we can do is our best in the spot we're in mentally and physically. I'm just tired of hating myself. Hang in there 😊

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

vermint — Wed, 06 May 2020 16:44:53 GMT

@Lali1 Great post! I've been overweight most of my life...I love to eat, but hate most vegetables, and despise exercise. I'm 65, a cancer survivor, and my only obesity-related health issue so far is high blood pressure, which is controlled with medication. I realize how fortunate I am! I'm not making excuses, I know I should lose weight (a lot of it!) but can't seem to get in the mindset for it. It doesn't help that obesity runs in my family, on both sides, as does the high blood pressure and cancer. Even a number of my thinner friends/relatives have high blood pressure. My mother also spent nearly her entire adult life hating her body.

I decided a long time ago to try not to worry about my weight, and I really don't care what others think of it. I dress in a flattering way, my hair & makeup is as nicely done as I know how, so if someone doesn't like how I look, they can turn their head! Maybe someday I'll do something about it--or not.

I think it does help that I've never smoked, and I think I've had a half-dozen drinks in my entire life.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

AuntG — Wed, 06 May 2020 16:50:38 GMT

Good for you. Of course we want to be healthy, but not at an even bigger expense (our mental health and happiness).

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

KKJ — Wed, 06 May 2020 16:55:16 GMT

Not criticizing your post vermint, just wanted to say that I don't consider high blood pressure necessarily an "obesity-related" illness as I have family members who are thin as a rail who suffer life-long high BP and conversely my grandma (who lived to 100) was quite overweight most of her life but had a normal BP and a cholesterol level of 140. Like I said, am not saying this to be critical of ypur post, I just get tired of people & the news saying if you're overweight it means you're doomed to a life of health problems.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

Lali1 — Wed, 06 May 2020 16:55:51 GMT

@vermint wrote:
@Lali1 Great post! I've been overweight most of my life...I love to eat, but hate most vegetables, and despise exercise. I'm 65, a cancer survivor, and my only obesity-related health issue so far is high blood pressure, which is controlled with medication. I realize how fortunate I am! I'm not making excuses, I know I should lose weight (a lot of it!) but can't seem to get in the mindset for it. It doesn't help that obesity runs in my family, on both sides, as does the high blood pressure and cancer. Even a number of my thinner friends/relatives have high blood pressure. My mother also spent nearly her entire adult life hating her body.

I decided a long time ago to try not to worry about my weight, and I really don't care what others think of it. I dress in a flattering way, my hair & makeup is as nicely done as I know how, so if someone doesn't like how I look, they can turn their head! Maybe someday I'll do something about it--or not.

I think it does help that I've never smoked, and I think I've had a half-dozen drinks in my entire life.

Congratulations on surviving cancer! I love your attitude ❤️

I was a small girl until my late 30's. But I realize none of it really matters in the grand scheme of life. My kids, my dogs they just don't care if I'm thin or not. Even my husband doesn't care. Of course he'd prefer me to look like I did when we married,

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

mom2four0418 — Wed, 06 May 2020 16:57:08 GMT

@Lali1 wrote:
I was having trouble sleeping last night and got to thinking. My mom from the time she had kids until she died was always trying to diet and hated her body. I also know someone who died when she went in to have one stomach stapling removed to have another such surgery. My mil on and on I can think of women who spent much of their lives hating the body they were in and being miserable about it.

i like to walk and do some exercise but for the last year and a half after an injury I have become lazy. I decided I'm going to do my best in the mindset I'm in and try my very best to stop hating myself for how I look. I'm going to focus on healthfulness and not how I look in the mirror.

Anyone else feeling the same?

Take a look at Beauty Redefined dot org. 💜

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

SeaMaiden — Wed, 06 May 2020 16:59:33 GMT

@Lali1 wish I could.. but I too dislike my figure faults and think about them all the time.... never look at my body in the mirror from the neck down. I have done it all my life. Not something you can just shut off.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

LuvmyLab — Wed, 06 May 2020 17:01:08 GMT

@Lali1 Good for you! I like your positive attitude. So many women want to look like supermodels and spend their entire life trying to achieve an unreal expectation. God made women of all different shapes and sizes and we need to accept that. Of course, we can eat right, exercise and do what we can to be healthy but we, as women, need to accept ourselves as we are.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

KingstonsMom — Wed, 06 May 2020 17:13:44 GMT

@Lali1 wrote:
I was having trouble sleeping last night and got to thinking. My mom from the time she had kids until she died was always trying to diet and hated her body. I also know someone who died when she went in to have one stomach stapling removed to have another such surgery. My mil on and on I can think of women who spent much of their lives hating the body they were in and being miserable about it.

i like to walk and do some exercise but for the last year and a half after an injury I have become lazy. I decided I'm going to do my best in the mindset I'm in and try my very best to stop hating myself for how I look. I'm going to focus on healthfulness and not how I look in the mirror.

Anyone else feeling the same?

@Lali1

To add my perspective on the opposite end of the spectrum in your post.

I have always been extremely skinny and back in the day, I was prescribed prednisone to try to gain weight (before they knew how bad steroids are for the body, long term).

I always hated my stick thin body, with no shape, being called 'skinny minnie'.

I may not have curves, but I'm healthy......but I can't 'twerk'....there's nothing there to 'twerk', LOL!

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

vermint — Wed, 06 May 2020 17:22:50 GMT

@KKJ wrote:
Not criticizing your post vermint, just wanted to say that I don't consider high blood pressure necessarily an "obesity-related" illness as I have family members who are thin as a rail who suffer life-long high BP and conversely my grandma (who lived to 100) was quite overweight most of her life but had a normal BP and a cholesterol level of 140. Like I said, am not saying this to be critical of ypur post, I just get tired of people & the news saying if you're overweight it means you're doomed to a life of health problems.

@KKJ No, I understand...high blood pressure runs even among the thinner members of my family. And shoot, I forgot, I do have high cholesterol (though not too terribly high, controlled with an every-other-day med). My youngest brother is very overweight and has neither of those problems! My doctor told me that while, yes, I do need to lose weight, high BP and cholesterol can be hereditary.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

KingstonsMom — Wed, 06 May 2020 17:39:15 GMT

@SeaMaiden wrote:
@Lali1 wish I could.. but I too dislike my figure faults and think about them all the time.... never look at my body in the mirror from the neck down. I have done it all my life. Not something you can just shut off.

@SeaMaiden

I know how hard it may be, but you have to realize that the 'figure faults' that bother you so much don't define you.

Your kindness and character do....

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

Lali1 — Wed, 06 May 2020 17:40:31 GMT

@SeaMaiden wrote:
@Lali1 wish I could.. but I too dislike my figure faults and think about them all the time.... never look at my body in the mirror from the neck down. I have done it all my life. Not something you can just shut off.

I get it. I have a friend who worries herself sick a lot. They had some bad news and her husband is traveling. He told her not worry. I thought yeh right like it's that easy. Of course it's not possible to change your thinking at the drop of the hat. But I do believe we have control over our thinking, I have to learn how to not be hard on myself and choose another mindset.
I've learned a lot from my dog who when he gets stressed nurses on a stuffed bear. If my dog can understand how to calm himself and change his mindset certainly I can.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

QVCkitty1 — Wed, 06 May 2020 17:43:53 GMT

@SeaMaiden wrote:
@Lali1 wish I could.. but I too dislike my figure faults and think about them all the time.... never look at my body in the mirror from the neck down. I have done it all my life. Not something you can just shut off.

I will never " love " my body. It gets me where I need to go, and I've made peace with the fact that no matter how much weight I lose, l'm not happy with my body. However, it doesn't keep me up at night. It is what it is.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

Trinity11 — Wed, 06 May 2020 18:28:12 GMT

I think a lot of how we feel starts in childhood. My mom used to point to me the "Chubby" dept and told me that was where we would need to shop unless I ate less. She put me in twirling, dance classes 3 times a week because she said I tended towards weight gain. In dance class I asked to buy a blouse to cover me up because of the revealing leotards. I was 10.

When I hit 12, I dieted strenuously to be 115 at 5'8. To this day I feel overweight unless I am 120 pounds. When I gained weight from 4 years ago having a heart attack and a slew of prescribed drugs adding lots of pounds, I think the weight bothered me more than the heart attack.

I tried to bring my daughter up differently but she thankfully inherited her dad's tendency to always be thin naturally. It was never an issue.

I commend you @Lali1 for accepting yourself as you are. I have spent my lifetime being obsessed about weight and I doubt it will ever change.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

Lali1 — Wed, 06 May 2020 19:04:44 GMT

@Trinity11 wrote:
I think a lot of how we feel starts in childhood. My mom used to point to me the "Chubby" dept and told me that was where we would need to shop unless I ate less. She put me in twirling, dance classes 3 times a week because she said I tended towards weight gain. In dance class I asked to buy a blouse to cover me up because of the revealing leotards. I was 10.

When I hit 12, I dieted strenuously to be 115 at 5'8. To this day I feel overweight unless I am 120 pounds. When I gained weight from 4 years ago having a heart attack and a slew of prescribed drugs adding lots of pounds, I think the weight bothered me more than the heart attack.

I tried to bring my daughter up differently but she thankfully inherited her dad's tendency to always be thin naturally. It was never an issue.

I commend you @Lali1 for accepting yourself as you are. I have spent my lifetime being obsessed about weight and I doubt it will ever change.

Oh I'm not there yet. Just thinking about those women in my life who were miserable about it for so long changed how I want to be from here on. No one who matters will say about you at the end of your life wow she sure was fat.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

Elri I — Wed, 06 May 2020 19:40:50 GMT

@Lali1

I think you have achieved a state of consciousness that many women, including me, cannot attain. When I look at the waist sizes of actresses from the 40s and before, I am in a state of wonder.

It's been a fight all the way. I like apples, but struggle constantly not to resemble one.

Also, I remember when ketosis was a bad thing!

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

Glittergal — Wed, 06 May 2020 20:26:32 GMT

Thank you for sharing this! I just spent an hour on that site and it truly has changed my thinking and awareness in a meaningful way. My life just changed for the better.

Re: Life is too short to hate the body you’re in

Lali1 — Wed, 06 May 2020 20:27:03 GMT

@KingstonsMom wrote:

@Lali1 wrote:
I was having trouble sleeping last night and got to thinking. My mom from the time she had kids until she died was always trying to diet and hated her body. I also know someone who died when she went in to have one stomach stapling removed to have another such surgery. My mil on and on I can think of women who spent much of their lives hating the body they were in and being miserable about it.

i like to walk and do some exercise but for the last year and a half after an injury I have become lazy. I decided I'm going to do my best in the mindset I'm in and try my very best to stop hating myself for how I look. I'm going to focus on healthfulness and not how I look in the mirror.

Anyone else feeling the same?
@Lali1

To add my perspective on the opposite end of the spectrum in your post.

I have always been extremely skinny and back in the day, I was prescribed prednisone to try to gain weight (before they knew how bad steroids are for the body, long term).

I always hated my stick thin body, with no shape, being called 'skinny minnie'.

I may not have curves, but I'm healthy......but I can't 'twerk'....there's nothing there to 'twerk', LOL!

I understand. We all have our own issues with expectations and comments from people that stick with us forever. How we feel about ourselves it what's important.