topic Re: how would you handle this in Community Chat

how would you handle this

crazered — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:15:58 GMT

My sister and I talk on the phone at least every two weeks. I am the youngest of three.Still treated like I am a child.

I am 60 plus.

Last time we spoke she mentioned my 3 yr old grandson looks like he needs braces, she thinks he has buck teeth.

I was floored she said this I told her he doesnt have bucked teeth. It really ticked me off. I got off the phone ASAP before I said something I would regret. I don't talk about her grandchilden. If I told mey son he would be really mad. It would only cause friction in the family. We live 300 miles apart so its not like I see her often.

How would you handle this situation?

Re: how would you handle this

qualitygal — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:20:56 GMT

What exactly do you think needs to be handled?

How about letting her have her opinion, and pay her no mind. Ignore it.

Re: how would you handle this

Laura14 — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:20:03 GMT

Forget it. Don't tell your son. And do your best to move on from a stupid, unnecessary opinion inartfully expressed. Go have a great day!

Re: how would you handle this

4kitties — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:21:04 GMT

I would never repeat her remark to anyone, it is hurtful and as you say, not true. Is your sister experiencing any dementia or memory issues that are causing her to make remarks like this? If this remark is out of character for her, I would try to just brush it off and change the subject.

If she is just being cruel and continues with this behavior I would probably try to avoid talking with her. Who needs that in their life?

Re: how would you handle this

Peaches McPhee — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:21:56 GMT

I'd ignore it. She gave her opinion, you did not agree. What more is there to do?

Re: how would you handle this

tsavorite — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:23:20 GMT

Some people are just plain rude....I suspect this isn't the 1st time your sister has said something that has upset you. I would consider the source and not say anything to anyone about this comment. After all it is nothing but a opinion...you didn't ask for her opinion so I would toss it in the garbage can! In your mind so to speak LOL!

Re: how would you handle this

Shanus — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:24:37 GMT

@crazered Your sister was out of line to say anything. To keep peace, I'd say nothing to her or your son. Just ignore it. BTW, braces aren't put on baby teeth. They fall out anyway. They're usually put on when permanent teeth are in and the child is approaching puberty...ages 11-12 (unless there's unusual circumstances). The jaw is not fully developed and the orthodontist cannot judge how and where the teeth need to be adjusted.

Re: how would you handle this

scatcat — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:28:08 GMT

Ignore her. She's trying to raz you up. Next she'll tell you he's a bad driver

Re: how would you handle this

Imaoldhippie — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:33:10 GMT

Did she say what she based her decision on? A picture or on the web or what? Could be that if the position he was in could make him look that way.

I think she meant well. Forget it and dont mention it to anyone.

Re: how would you handle this

geezerette — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:37:16 GMT

If you felt like you absolutely had to give her a reply of some sort yet still remain noncommittal, I would have said something like, "That's a decision I'll leave up to my son and his dentist when the time is right."

Re: how would you handle this

pommom — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:38:34 GMT

The best response is no response.

Re: how would you handle this

Desertdi — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 13:39:04 GMT

My relative told me I had a scrawny, stringy neck. I bit my tongue and didn't mention HER quadruple chin(!!)

Re: how would you handle this

Still Raining — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 14:36:27 GMT

Best to just say "Could be" and move on.

There is much more going here if you feel you are being treated like a kid and this remark concerns you.

It may be true too. I have a grandkid that had a band on baby teeth. So did his mother. Why save for college when you can blow it on teeth.

Re: how would you handle this

stevieb — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 14:44:46 GMT

@qualitygal wrote:
What exactly do you think needs to be handled?

How about letting her have her opinion, and pay her no mind. Ignore it.

Exactly. No big deal that I can see. She thinks he needs braces and the OP does't. Time will tell. Nothing to handle. Mountains out of molehills. Sheesh.

Re: how would you handle this

Scooby Doo — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 14:44:50 GMT

So what I hear is that you are upset because you are treated like a child, the grandson's teeth being crooked is secondary.

I think you will continue to be treated like a child as long as you let it continue. It's time to speak up in moments like this. Yes, your sister is going to get her feelings hurt at first because she's used to having the upper hand. It's time to explain how you feel and quit being the kicking post. Why do you have to adjust your feelings for the sake of someone else?

Re: how would you handle this

SXMGirl — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 14:47:42 GMT

@crazered I do not understand why you are upset. It may or may not be true about his teeth, but that remark should not cause any concern to you. Hopefully, your grandson has been to a dentist by this time and is taken on a regular basis. If not, you might want to mention to the parents that he should start going. A dentist would know if there is an issue.

I do not want to be unkind, but if you feel that you are being treated as a child, maybe it is because of how you are reacting to a remark made by your sister. Unless words/thoughts are untrue and/or mean-spirited, my family and friends can say anything to me. I consider that normal conversation.

Re: how would you handle this

Grouchomarx — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 14:50:21 GMT

Why would anyone be talking about a 3 year old needing braces? That's years away. Just a stupid thing to say overall. If you don't like the way she talks to you, don't take her calls as often. Let it go to voicemail. She may catch on. I have found the cold shoulder can be extremely effective. Or, just tell her what tou think and accept the fallout. Sounds like you're old enough to know it's not worth it to maintain unhealthy relationships just because it's family. Family or not, people should treat each other with respect.

Re: how would you handle this

Deree — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 14:54:59 GMT

How would I handle it? I'd ignore it. You're taking this too personally IMO.

Re: how would you handle this

jubilant — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 15:02:25 GMT

Just tell her the truth......... that you disagree with her. If she pursues it ....you just say something like, "any decisions about a childs teeth is up to his or her parents" and quickly change the subject.

Re: how would you handle this

millieshops — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 15:05:10 GMT

@crazeredYou already handled it - and handled it well. You were the adult in the room and proved it by walking away instead of throwing gasoline on the fire.

I can't begin to imagine why your sister even brought up this topic. I didn't see a single word of concern in your post that would make me think your grandson is not already well cared for without his great aunt's interference. That's what counts.