topic Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely in Community Chat

Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

Jordan2 — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 15:46:31 GMT

My mother passed away about two months ago. She was elderly, I took care of her, I have no regrets in doing so. I didn't have a chance to cultivate friendships because my mother took up all my time. I was already depressed from my mother's death, then the coronavirus hit right after, I feel so lonely. When you live alone, there are long stretches of time when you don't hear the sound of your own voice. I have an older sister who lives 10 minutes away from me, I haven't seen her in about a month or so (we aren't that close). I feel like life as we know it will never be the same. For those of you that do live alone how are you handling everything?

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

Imaoldhippie — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 15:52:02 GMT

So very sorry about your mom. You got hit with a double whammy. Yes, I feel isolated and lonely even though I have a husband. But not being able to socialize outside of home is boring, lonely and frustrating. There are thousands of people all over the world going through this, and I am sure they feel the same way.

All I can say is hang in there, this will pass, may take a while but we will get through it.

Again, sorry for your loss.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

Ibby114 — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 16:35:08 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
My mother passed away about two months ago. She was elderly, I took care of her, I have no regrets in doing so. I didn't have a chance to cultivate friendships because my mother took up all my time. I was already depressed from my mother's death, then the coronavirus hit right after, I feel so lonely. When you live alone, there are long stretches of time when you don't hear the sound of your own voice. I have an older sister who lives 10 minutes away from me, I haven't seen her in about a month or so (we aren't that close). I feel like life as we know it will never be the same. For those of you that do live alone how are you handling everything?

@Jordan2 - one word. MUSIC! I have axs tv on so often, especialy now there are many livefeeds of concerts and other events. I love Broadway and have found many on tv these days too. I watched Springsteen on Broadway [Netflix] twice this weekend, wow is that good!

I'm so sorry for your loss...

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

goldensrbest — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 19:24:05 GMT

Yes, very much, i spend alot of time alone, with my two dogs, but not going out to grocery store, things like that,and my son and family not hearing from them, in same town ,all is really tough.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

ValuSkr — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 16:23:20 GMT

Get an Amazon Echo or Dot (i.e. Alexa). She may not be as fulfilling as a real person, but I think it's kind of fun to interact with her.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

millieshops — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 15:58:59 GMT

@Jordan2I am so sorry for your loss.

Although my own mother died many, many uears ago, even though I was working among many people and friends, too, I remember the months afterwards as lonely times.

And I didn't live with my mother, didn't do physical care for her even - my job had us 6 hours apart. That makes me think your loneliness has even more layers, more depth than mine.

Please know, scar tissue forms even for emotional wounds, but it forms in its own time. It's especially difficult right now because many of the usual avenues you could take to help the process along don't seem to fit into the CDC recommendations to isolate yourself at home.

I don't have specific "shoulds" for you - nothing other than assuring you for now the loneliness you're feeling is not usual especially for those of us who don't have others at home distracting us from our grief.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

Kachina624 — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 16:11:12 GMT

Yes, there are undoubtedly many if us living alone who feel isolated at this time. The thing that keeps me sane are my two dogs,. as pets are wonderful companions. Seems as most of my friends have died or moved away but I do talk to my sister in Pennsylvania several times a week and email with other friends. These boards are wonderful for staying in touch with humanity. I stay busy with my house and yard, take my dogs on walks where I often find someone to chat with (at a distance of course).

In your case, I'd be giving a lot of thought to what I was going to do when this ordeal is over to get out and make some friends and become engaged in some activities you enjoy. Don't overlook your local senior or community centers. Plot your future strategy. Get outside and take a walk in the park or neighborhood. In most parts of the country, the weather is beautiful right now.

This pandemic will end, hopefully sooner than later so just hang in there and keep yourself entertained until it goes away. No you are not alone.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

Kachina624 — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 16:13:56 GMT

This pandemic will end, hopefully sooner than later so just hang in there and keep yourself entertained until it goes away

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

on the bay — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 18:04:13 GMT

@Jordan2 -

Aw, I'm so glad you reached out because I'm sure there are so many of us living alone and feeling what you are feeling.

I was going to say too, music is such a wonderful companion if you have a computer, go on youtube and type in your favorite songs.You'll end up spending hours there (don't know if that's good or bad lol!).Or a cd player (yes I still have one

If you have a favorite book read it again.

Write a letter or email or text often!

You can view facebook sermons or people even if you are not on facebook. Many have public pages.

(you just click on not interested for now when it pops up to sign up)

Watch tv to your hearts content.

Call people.

Come here

And something that never fails to make me laugh-

A friend said to me as she lived alone

"Well, now I think I will sit in this chair.

And now perhaps I will now go sit in my other chair.

I will now brush my teeth!"😂😭

It's pitiful but funny.

I sometimes think when it is so quiet, where in the world is the rest of the world?!

And yes, my cat helped but she is gone and I wish so much I had a dog! But I am lucky now because I still get to see part of my family who live almost touching. Still at night and other times I can feel alone.

Anyway, just know you are not alone in feeling lonely

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

Sheila P-Burg — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 16:27:20 GMT

@ValuSkr ...... Good advise! Really enjoy mine.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

Irish1210 — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 16:38:54 GMT

@Jordan2 So sorry about the loss of your mom and the difficulty you're having ~ Please know that you always have friends here

As others have mentioned, music can lighten the mood, taking a walk can help, cleaning (YUCK) is always good therapy........in the future when things get back to normal? book clubs are popular through local libraries or possibly adopting a pet may help you feel better.

Good luck to you and I will include you in my prayers ~ sending you peace and contentment : )

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

shoptilyadropagain — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 16:59:57 GMT

I'm so sorry for your loss! I live alone but then it doesn't really bother me (never has) I'm lucky I still have my mom so I call her several times a week and have been going once a week to get her groceries. I'm sure it's much harder on my mom with my dad being gone about four years and she doesn't drive out of town. I also still go into work a few days a week.

I know you said you're not close with your sister but maybe you could try calling her once a week. Even a ten minute phone call might help. She could probably use a little communication from the outside world as well.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

newjersey — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 17:01:31 GMT

No. I have friends and family who I can talk to on the phone. I also keep myself busy all day. My days go by very quickly.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

BirkiLady — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 17:14:18 GMT

Sincere condolences on your loss. Caring for your mom is time-consuming and requires so much thought. I also did it for 14 years; although my mom was in independent living, assisted living and skilled care as a dementia patient. Even in those situations, I needed to be there and stay a step ahead of her mental condition to eleviate any fear, worry, and help her maintain a healthy mental and physical life. (So many dementia patients were left sitting in front of their TV's for hours on end without any visitors, physical or mental stimulation.) When mom passed away, the grief was expected, but the hours I suddenly had were more difficult and everything I saw reminded me of things I had been doing for her all those years. Hope this makes sense to your lonliness and you understand that others have also been through it. We all grieve differently; take your time and let your heart mend. Blessings.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

Travone — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 17:18:30 GMT

@Jordan2 I will keep you in my prayers. You have been given some very good advice from others on this forum. I have one other to add. Reach out to old friends that you were close to before your mother became ill. I have found that with good friends it doesn't matter how long it has been since you've been in touch....you pick up right were you just left off.

Also, does your neighborhood have an online forum like nextdoor? If so, join it. Ask your neighbors if they want to talk across the yards at a designated time. Go for walks if you are able. Greet everyone who comes within shouting distance. Good Luck

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

catwhisperer — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 17:35:20 GMT

@Jordan2 wrote:
My mother passed away about two months ago. She was elderly, I took care of her, I have no regrets in doing so. I didn't have a chance to cultivate friendships because my mother took up all my time. I was already depressed from my mother's death, then the coronavirus hit right after, I feel so lonely. When you live alone, there are long stretches of time when you don't hear the sound of your own voice. I have an older sister who lives 10 minutes away from me, I haven't seen her in about a month or so (we aren't that close). I feel like life as we know it will never be the same. For those of you that do live alone how are you handling everything?

@Jordan2....I hear you and feel what you are going through. I am sorry for your loss. I lost my DH less than a year ago, so like you, am still dealing with that and now this virus situation.

I am a loner by nature and am used to being alone much of the time, but miss at least being able to chat with my neighbors and not being able to go out when I want to.

Like you, I also feel like life as we knew it will never be the same again, but I look at it as a learning experience in a positive way. One day at a time is about all we can do at this point. I like to stay informed, but have had to limit how much time I spend watching the news as well as being on these boards.

Take care of yourself. (((Hugs)))

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

Jordan2 — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 17:44:32 GMT

Thank you to all for the kind words and prayers. I do like to come here, even though we have never met in person, I have gotten to know the names of many of you. It's funny, my sister would come take my mother out for a couple of hours most Saturdays. I would be invited, but I never wanted to go, I liked having some time to myself. Well, be careful what you wish for, now I have all the quiet time I could want, what I wouldn't give to have my mother back again.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

RedTop — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 18:05:45 GMT

No I am the odd duck and do not feel isolated or lonely, ever. I am living exactly the way I normally do, even without a stay at home order. This is actually my 3rd year in a row of being home bound for months at a time.

My husband is the one struggling a bit with staying home. However, having COPD, he knows the risk with any respiratory illness.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

World Traveler — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 19:24:34 GMT

@RedTop I'm the other odd duck. I too do NOT feel isolated or lonely.

I enjoy my home very much. It has everything I need at this time. I have a library of around 4,000 books collected over my many years on this earth (can't bring myself to throw a book away), so I am enjoying some books I forgot I had; and I have things to do (cleaning out cupboards, drawers, etc.). Pretty soon I will probably start getting out my cookbooks that I haven't checked out in over a year!

My dog makes sure I get out and enjoy the fresh air. My Garmin tracker says I'm getting an average of 15,000 steps a day, so I'm definitely keeping active.

My friends and family stay in touch often by email, phone, or FaceTime, so I don't feel disconnected.

I find this to be a great time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. This is probably the only way I would probably slow down and just be in the moment. Kind of nice.

Re: Does Anyone Feel Isolated And Lonely

vsm — Mon, 06 Apr 2020 20:04:28 GMT

What a poignant reply, @BirkiLady . It hits awfully close to home for me, and I'm sure many others. Thank you...