topic Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian in Community Chat

Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

Jordan2 — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:15:50 GMT

Growing up, who was the disciplinarian, your mom or dad? Mine was definitely my mother. My mother would dole out the punishment, sometimes with the strap (it was a different time, you could hit your kids without fear of being reported to Child Welfare Protection Services). My mother would sometimes say "wait til your father gets home". Nothing happened when my father got home, he didn't like my mother saying this, he wasn't going to punish us for something he didn't see. My father never hit my sister and me, he did hit my brother once, but he felt so bad, he never hit him again. It's funny, my mother never got hit growing up, but hit us, my father did get hit growing up, he didn't have the stomach for it.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

deepwaterdotter — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:18:27 GMT

Both.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

Mz iMac — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:20:45 GMT

Both

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

sunshine45 — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:22:13 GMT

both, but we spent way more time around my mother, which was a good thing. lol

her punishments were more bearable.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

sann — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:23:45 GMT

Dad.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

jeanlake — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:40:15 GMT

Your mom and dad deviating from their personal childhood discipline - that's interesting, Jordan. Mom died when I was a kid. She was a sweet lady. Used her words more than punishments. Dad had little patience and a temper. He made us nervous. Didn't do the apology thing. His PTSD from WW2 did a number on him.

Hubs was born while his dad was in Korea. Hubs mom was 18. His dad was into humiliation. If hubs brought him the wrong screwdriver, dad would toss the tool out in the yard, make him retrieve it and call him a girl the whole time. Who knows, maybe he had PTSD, too. At 30, when hubs completed his MBA degree, someone congratulated hubs. His dad stood nearby and said -- that's nothing -- just makes him a better pencil pusher. Never did like that guy. He's almost 91 and still being 'him.'

Hubs and I tried to be more like our moms as parents. Firm but kind. Listen and use our words. Lose our patience? Apologize

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

spursfan2 — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:26:41 GMT

Definitely my mother!! I was a daddy's girl & could do no wrong in his eyes. I grew up in a time when discipline was essential & mom didnt hesitate to lay a spatula, wooden spoon, house shoe, etc across my backside!!

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

KailaS — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:27:21 GMT

My mother was not supportive or warm. At 93 she still is not. She is a screamer and a hitter. I never considered what she did to be discipline. It bordered on abuse. My dad, on the other hand, never yeled at or hit us. He had the ability until he died last year to get everyone to do what they should with a word, a soft tone, and/or a smile. Dad always talked to us after a rebuke or a punishment. He enabled us to learn, to grow, and to move on.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

AuntG — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:37:12 GMT

Luckily my parents had generally compliant kids. There were expectations regarding school and chores but we didn't need a great deal of nudging. I guess we knew we'd get hollered at by my dad if we got caught doing something bad or blatantly disobeyed them.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

Sheila P-Burg — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:38:40 GMT

My father ....... Used a belt or a switch off a tree.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

LIndaMJ — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:41:01 GMT

My father was the disciplarian, he yelled and screamed frequently; he never did hit us. I can still remember my mother saying "wait until your father comes home".

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

QVCkitty1 — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:43:03 GMT

Mom, my dad really didn't get involved.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

tansy — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:46:42 GMT

Let's just say I was more scared of my tiny mother than of my dad.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

PA Mom-mom — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:53:00 GMT

@Jordan2 My parents were blessed with 4 kids in 4 years! We were all bad! I would like to think I was not a bad as my 3 brothers (2 were twins). Mom would beat us with a yard stick during the day, and she would tell my dad what we did when he came home, and he would beat us with his belt. Let me tell you, WE DESERVED IT!

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

Caligurll — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 22:54:53 GMT

Definitely my mother, although I only remember being hit (slapped once across the face) twice; once when I called her a witch and once when I was sneaking out a window. My father hit me across the rear once, when he heard me refer to my mother as stupid under my breath.

My mother used the silent treatment quite effectively; I'd rather of had a couple of swats across my rear than not being spoken to AT ALL for two or three days, depending on the infraction.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

Chicagosuburbangirl — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 23:06:56 GMT

Father. Sadistic, cruel and narcissistic.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

jannabelle1 — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 23:10:30 GMT

I feel very fortunate because neither of my parents were "hitters"....they would never have considered beating me with a belt or slapping me. One word and "the look" from my mother was all it took for me, although I wasn't a rabble rouser and didn't really misbehave. Both of my grandparents had the same views - never hit or beat a child.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

Porcelain — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 23:13:30 GMT

Neither. I was a pretty good kid. Not much to discipline until I hit my teens and by that time it was too late. And even then, they were still fortunate parents. I did a good job with them.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

Pook — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 23:38:37 GMT

My dad was a slapper and punisher and had a temper. He never knew how to father since his died when he was 12 and he was mean. All my mom had to say was that she was going to tell my dad to get me in line.

Re: Growing Up Who Was The Disciplinarian

Jordan2 — Wed, 25 Mar 2020 23:40:51 GMT

@Caligurll wrote:
Definitely my mother, although I only remember being hit (slapped once across the face) twice; once when I called her a witch and once when I was sneaking out a window. My father hit me across the rear once, when he heard me refer to my mother as stupid under my breath.

My mother used the silent treatment quite effectively; I'd rather of had a couple of swats across my rear than not being spoken to AT ALL for two or three days, depending on the infraction.

My mother would give the silent treatment too, I hated it I would rather get hit! We really weren't bad kids my father worked long hours during his busy season so my mother was like a single mom. My mother just had to give "the look" to keep us in line!