topic Sad Anniversaries in Community Chat

Sad Anniversaries

gidgetgh — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 22:26:18 GMT

Today's is the anniversary of my moms death. 9 years. Seems like just yesterday. Seems like forever ago.

I'm doing ok. I had a talk with her this morning and told her my sister and I are doing ok and I told her how much I miss her. I tell her that often.

As I said, I'm doing ok, but I'll be glad when it's tomorrow. She passed away 2 days after Valentines Day and was unconscious on Valentines Day. Valentines Day isn't a really big deal to me, but it does kind of set the whole "here comes the anniversary" in motion every year.

For anyone who has experienced loss, I just think the anniversaries, while maybe not hideous to get through for everyone as we are all different but they do give you pause.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

Capecodfal — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 22:12:14 GMT

I am sorry for the loss of our Mom, I too have losses pf close family members both near a holiday and others without. For me it has been more difficult when close to a special holiday remembence.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

CelticCrafter — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 22:18:34 GMT

I think what was harder for me were remembering the "last times" days leading up to the death of my parents and my siblings.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

dex — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 22:20:30 GMT

@gidgetgh @Sorry that Valentine’s Day holds sad memories for you.I bet your mom wishes that you would not feel sad.I know that I love my son more than life and the last thing I want is to bring sadness to his heart.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

MoonieBaby — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 22:29:53 GMT

Gidgetgh,

I'm sorry for your sorrow, and loss, no words sooth; especially on anniversaries of such difficult days.

I do agree, the time flys and slugs along at the same time. I have my parents but miss my grandmothers more than I can put into words, and it's been 40+ for the one and 15+ for the other.

Take care and keep on talking to Mom, I still talk to the grands - everyday, even though they are not here, just in my heart.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

Mary Bailey — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 22:32:20 GMT

after someone passes away it is to painful for DH to remember birthdays, anniversaries or date they passed etc.

We talk about people but he doesn't want "dates" brought up.

I (by myself) chose to remember those dates.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

Irish1210 — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 22:37:05 GMT

Re: Sad Anniversaries

gidgetgh — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 22:45:02 GMT

@Mary Bailey wrote:
after someone passes away it is to painful for DH to remember birthdays, anniversaries or date they passed etc.
We talk about people but he doesn't want "dates" brought up.

I (by myself) chose to remember those dates.

@Mary Bailey -I don't intentionally try to remember the dates, but I've got a great memory and I just remember them. And, like you, I want to remember them.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

gramgrandkids1 — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 23:39:06 GMT

@gidgetgh Tomorrow Feb 17 will be bittersweet for me. It will be my daughter's birthday and the 17th anniversary of my dad's death. I now try to focus on all the good times and laughs we shared. I still find myself crying over losing him. I still remember our last conversation the morning he died. We were discussing all the snow we had. So thankful for all the years I had with him. His sudden death was hard to deal with and accept for a very long time. Remember something special the two of you shared and my wish for you is it helps to ease some of your pain.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

gidgetgh — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 23:48:37 GMT

@gramgrandkids1 wrote:
@gidgetgh Tomorrow Feb 17 will be bittersweet for me. It will be my daughter's birthday and the 17th anniversary of my dad's death. I now try to focus on all the good times and laughs we shared. I still find myself crying over losing him. I still remember our last conversation the morning he died. We were discussing all the snow we had. So thankful for all the years I had with him. His sudden death was hard to deal with and accept for a very long time. Remember something special the two of you shared and my wish for you is it helps to ease some of your pain.

Thinking of you @gramgrandkids1

Re: Sad Anniversaries

Nbo — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 00:01:36 GMT

It will be 16 years of my dads death on February 27. It was 2 days before my wedding anniversary. I spent my anniversary preparing for his funeral. I still miss him and if I could ask for an anniversary gift,it would be to spend another day with my daddy.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

Pearlee — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 00:09:07 GMT

@gidgetgh. The anniv of my mom's death (6 yrs) is coming up next week. And what would have been her 100th birthday was two weeks ago. Both of those dates make me sad, esp since she passed away in her mid-90s, so until then we had really been hoping she would make it to 100 because until her last month or so she had been in good shape physically. But it was not to be.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

alicedee — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 00:20:46 GMT

My parents have been gone so many years now....39 and 23 years...and I do still remember their birthdays and anniversary of their deaths each year. But though I think of them with much regret I can no longer see them, I know they are safe and happy now, and that awful raw sadness is gone...only good memories remain. And time passes so quickly...then I will be with them again with no more separation.

It's only been a few years since losing two of my younger sisters....those losses are still very fresh, and yes, not only anniversaries but just random days can bring some tears.

Time is a healer.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

Tinkrbl44 — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 00:29:18 GMT

@gidgetgh

Sorry about your loss ... sometimes these anniversaries can sneak up on people .... I guess with Valentine's Day, you sure see it coming.

Most people acknowledge the sad anniversary annually. My stepmother did something weird ... my Dad passed on March 8th, and she would get sad and anxious and upset ..... on the 8th of every single month. (I never figured that one out.)

Re: Sad Anniversaries

qvcfreak — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 03:29:45 GMT

I feel your pain, Daddy died 27 years ago today, and he was buried on the 19th, what would’ve been his 58th birthday. I am now 57.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

1Snickers — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 02:39:15 GMT

I know how you must feel about Valentine's Day!
My mother passed many years ago in January. I had bought her a beautiful Valentine and small heart shaped dish.
At the funeral home I slipped the signed card with a note inside her casket.
Every year when I do Valentine decorations I place the little heart shaped dish on a table in the living room,and remember her!

Re: Sad Anniversaries

BeccaLou — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 03:25:16 GMT

@gidgetgh I lost my mom on the Feb. 16th. also. But 12 years for me.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

BeccaLou — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 03:27:12 GMT

@Mary Bailey Good anniversary dates are my goal.

Re: Sad Anniversaries

Pearlee — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 04:37:36 GMT

@1Snickers. What a lovely story about the dish. ❤

Re: Sad Anniversaries

CalminHeart — Mon, 17 Feb 2020 11:47:49 GMT

I'm so sorry about the loss of your mom. I don't think we ever 'get over' the loss of a parent - we learn how to live with it.

Mom died Thanksgiving 2017 and I miss her every day. I was cleaning out my china cabinet last week. She gave me several special things and I was sobbing by the time I packed them. It's strange how something can trigger those deepest feelings of loss.