topic Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT... in Community Chat

DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Lindsays Grandma — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 01:17:22 GMT

1. to do and I won't tell you where to go.

2. Never do anything you shouldn't explain to the paramedics.

3. Of course there are a lot of things more important than money in life. Provided you have enough money.

4. 4 bottles of bleach $20.00. A coil of rope, 4 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $45.00. 3 boxes of XXL bin liners $10.00. The look on the cashier's face: Priceless.

5. My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone. I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.

6. I told my Dad he should embrace his mistakes. He had tears in his eyes. Then he hugged my sister and me.

7. When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

8. A man found a magic lamp with a genie that offered him three wishes. The man said, "For my first wish I would like to be rich." "Okay, said the genie. "What would you like for your second wish?"

9. An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel and thinks its an exit. A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an oncoming train. The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on the train tracks.

10. I saw a poster today, somebody was asking, "Have you seen my cat?" So I called the number and said that I didn't. I like to help where I can.

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

phoenixbrd — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 01:20:33 GMT

You put a smile on my face....Happy V-Day to you @Lindsays Grandma

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Leggett28 — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 01:21:45 GMT

# 1😉

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Lindsays Grandma — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 01:24:29 GMT

@phoenixbrd wrote:
You put a smile on my face....Happy V-Day to you @Lindsays Grandma

@phoenixbrd ...Happy V -Day to you too and if I made you smile I accomplished what I set out to do.

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Mary Bailey — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 01:26:17 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma

I don't know where you find these but I look forward to them every day and LOL

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Leggett28 — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 01:29:41 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma No matter what kind of day I’m having when I see your post I know I’m going to laugh. Happy Valentines Day 😘

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

IamMrsG — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 01:55:39 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma

There are posts I won't read because of the poster's name attached to them; however, it is just the opposite when I see "LindsaysGrandma." I click because it bears your name. Thank you.

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

NicksmomESQ — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:12:10 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma 😂😂🤗🤗!!

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Irish1210 — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:14:52 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma

Hi All................I may have indulged in too much chocolate today, but I don't "get" number 8.

Help?

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

phoenixbrd — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:28:05 GMT

@Irish1210 I had the same response and read it to my husband. He offered this suggestion:

"..........Okay, Rich, what is your second wish?...."

insert the word Rich after the word Okay in the joke....this was my husband's suggestion and it then made sense to me.

@Irish1210 wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma
Hi All................I may have indulged in too much chocolate today, but I don't "get" number 8.
Help?

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Irish1210 — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:37:11 GMT

@phoenixbrd Thank you and your hubby ~

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

spiderw — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:40:19 GMT

To the poster who always brings us smiles!!!! Thanks, Lindsays Grandma!

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Lindsays Grandma — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 04:51:51 GMT

@IamMrsG wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma

There are posts I won't read because of the poster's name attached to them; however, it is just the opposite when I see "LindsaysGrandma." I click because it bears your name. Thank you.

@IamMrsG What a fantastic compliment, thank you so very much, I hope I never fail to live up to it.

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Lindsays Grandma — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 04:58:44 GMT

@Irish1210 wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma
Hi All................I may have indulged in too much chocolate today, but I don't "get" number 8.
Help?

@Irish1210 When the man said his wish was to be rich, the genie gave him the name "Rich" as opposed to making him rich. So once the first wish was given he still had two more to ask for. Hope this helps.

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Lindsays Grandma — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 05:06:11 GMT

@Leggett28 wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma No matter what kind of day I’m having when I see your post I know I’m going to laugh. Happy Valentines Day 😘

@Leggett28 Laughter is the best medicine and when I laugh after reading these when I find them, the best thing I can do is pass them on so you and others here can share in the laughter.

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Irish1210 — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 13:46:24 GMT

Thanks @Lindsays Grandma as I mentioned before, too much chocolate clouded my thinking ability : )

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

chickenbutt — Sat, 15 Feb 2020 20:54:30 GMT

#4 cracks me up because I watch a lot of real crime. So often you see the perp go to Walmart and purchase all this stuff in one fell swoop. Don't they know there are cameras?

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

Lindsays Grandma — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 02:22:15 GMT

@chickenbutt wrote:
#4 cracks me up because I watch a lot of real crime. So often you see the perp go to Walmart and purchase all this stuff in one fell swoop. Don't they know there are cameras?

@chickenbutt ...Okay, I'm curious, in real crime the perps actually purchase things like that right out in the open?

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

shaggygirl — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 13:13:21 GMT

@Irish1210 wrote:
Thanks @Lindsays Grandma as I mentioned before, too much chocolate clouded my thinking ability : )

@Irish1210

I read that one over and over again trying to "get it". Gave up and continued reading the rest of the responses and was relieved that it wasn't just me and happy to see Lindsays Grandma's explanation.

Re: DON'T TELL ME WHAT...

San Antonio Gal — Sun, 16 Feb 2020 14:53:41 GMT

@shaggygirl wrote:
@Irish1210 wrote:
Thanks @Lindsays Grandma as I mentioned before, too much chocolate clouded my thinking ability : )
@Irish1210

I read that one over and over again trying to "get it". Gave up and continued reading the rest of the responses and was relieved that it wasn't just me and happy to see Lindsays Grandma's explanation.

I didn't get it either. Glad someone explained it!