topic Re: Ch ch ch ch changes.... in Community Chat

Ch ch ch ch changes....

gidgetgh — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:25:40 GMT

From the old David Bowie song.

My husband's health continues to decline. It brings me an unbelievable amount of stress, managing all the day to day, and makes me so very sad. Never ending sadness. As any caregiver will tell you, you can't escape the stress and sadness. It's unrelenting. It's like the movie Groundhog Day.

On Friday, I made the decision (and he didn't argue too much against it) to buy a transport wheelchair. And so we did. A big life change.

90-95% of the time, my husband walks just fine. Totally fine. But he has problems with orthostatic hypotension and his blood pressure drops, pretty substantially, if he's been sitting for awhile. At home, I can manage it. I get him to a chair and we wait out the after effects. But we've been caught "out in the wild" with episodes of it in the past few months. It especially seems to hit after he's been sitting in a car for awhile. The doctors can't figure out why. And awhile can be a 12 mile or so ride. It's not like driving to California or anything. And it is very random. It pops up when you wouldn't think it would and doesn't pop up when you think it will.

We've been very fortunate in that the few severe episodes he's had, people have rushed over to help us. But you can't count on that. We were caught out the other day and it hit halfway between the parking lot and the office building where his doctor is. We were in the middle of no man's land, on the sidewalk. Fortunately, a couple rushed over to help us and they went inside and brought us a wheelchair. Right then I decided that it was time for us to buy a wheelchair.

Maybe not the biggest thing in life, but it's a life change. I'll tell you...when I look at my husband, I still see the guy I met on a blind date in 1984. The really physically strong guy who was/is the polar opposite of me. I adore him. And he is so, so sick.

Thanks for listening.

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

ninjawife — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:30:17 GMT

I developed orthostatic hypotension after having my first child. It is very scary. At times I would shake violently and even pass out. My PCP recommended that I drink Gatorade for the combination of sodium and potassium. I drank a cup eery morning and it really helped a lot.

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

tansy — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:32:16 GMT

I'm sorry to read that your husband's health is declining, @gidgetgh, but it's good that he's not fighting you too much about using a wheelchair.

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sligo — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:35:27 GMT

@gidgetgh, My heart hurts for you and also your husband. It is a sad situation for each of you. Please know I will think of you both each day.

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

Teddie — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:45:14 GMT

@gidgetgh I imagine that what you’re living every day is beyond what you can even fully write about. I’m so very sorry.

Several years back, I had my dad here for a few days. We were afraid he was dying, and he was. I would have done anything for him. But the stress was terrible on me. I often felt I was on the verge of crying. Knowing how I felt then, I think of those of you who are living this—every day and every night. You have my attention—and my full compassion for both you and your husband. I wish I could give you a hug and say, Is there something I can help you with? Just to ease your burden a little bit? Regrettably, I can’t do that—so I just prayed for you. ♥️

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

QueenDanceALot — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:46:03 GMT

((((((( @gidgetgh ))))))))

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

Snoopp — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:51:30 GMT

@gidgetgh @I’m sorry you are both faced with this. A wheelchair is much better than a fall. If your doctor agrees, you might consider fludrocortisone, if appropriate. It raises the bp a bit, but there are other drugs too.

Hang in there.

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

Oznell — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:53:39 GMT

Awwwww. Feeling for you and your husband, @gidgetgh. Prayers up for you both. Yes, the caregiver suffers so much in intractable family illnesses. Hope you can seek out whatever stress relief can be made available to you during this deeply difficult and dislocating time.

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

jlkz — Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:58:53 GMT

@gidgetgh

The wheelchair story brought back a memory of my Dad towards the end of his life. He could walk....barely.

He wanted to visit mu aunt, his sister-in-law, who was in a huge hospital in Philadelphia. I told him I would drive him down for the last visit but because of the unbelievable walking distance from parking the car to the building where she was,

he had to sit in a wheelchair. I thought I would get his ever-present stubbornness; however, once he went through the long trek, he was most thankful that I had prevailed.

It was a very quiet trip home as he was lost in memories. His brother and my aunt had grown up together. They were even in the same senior class because my Dad managed to stay back a year so he could continue as the high school quarterback !

As you are going through this exhausting and trying time, please remember that you are doing the best for DH. Bring in a care giver at least once a week so you can get a mental and physical health day ! It is not selfish: you need to stay healthy so you can be there for him.

Peace to you both....

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

gidgetgh — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:00:35 GMT

@Snoopp wrote:
@gidgetgh @I’m sorry you are both faced with this. A wheelchair is much better than a fall. If your doctor agrees, you might consider fludrocortisone, if appropriate. It raises the bp a bit, but there are other drugs too.

Hang in there.

@Snoopp - his neurologist prescribed that in Mid December after a few years of being iffy on prescribing it because of the side effects. We held off starting it because of the holidays AND my sister was unexpectedly hospitalized for 12 days during the holidays and I just couldn't handle a new medication, with possible side effects, on top of my sisters issues. We reached the end of what I could handle at that time.

We still haven't started it. I've researched the drug and it's a straight on steroid with some potentially nasty side effects. My husband and I have discussed it and I also discussed it with his oncologist the other day AND talked to one of my stepsons about it yesterday. We're still on the fence about it. My husband does not want to take it at all.

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

Sooner — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:04:25 GMT

@gidgetgh I have had a small taste of that, of what may come. Your post made me cry for you and for all of us who face that kind of life change. I am happy to have every good (and bad) day left to us at this point.

My prayers, good thoughts and cyber-hugs are very much with us. May you two have many good days left, and bless you for dealing with it and moving forward.

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Iwantcoffee — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:08:12 GMT

I am sorry your husband is not doing well and the stress and sadness it brings. I hope the wheelchair will bring some much needed relief.

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SouthernBee — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:09:52 GMT

@gidgetgh : Sending prayers and hugs for you and your precious DH.❤️❤️🙏🙏 Southern Bee

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blackhole99 — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:16:04 GMT

Aging in general isn't for sissies, let alone when medical issues come with it.. I don't know how old your husband is, my husband is 77 and his health is good, yet when I look at him I can see the slow steady decline. I don't know how well I will handle anything serious or debilitating with my husband in the future, I know it will come. I know my faith will comfort me, but we still have to do the work, don't we. Good luck.

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tends2dogs — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:19:17 GMT

What a beautiful testimony of your unwavering love for your husband. It speaks volumes about you. Your husband is a lucky man.

Remember to take care of yourself, too.

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Catiele — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:19:18 GMT

Prayers to you both. Sometimes life gives us more than we think we can handle. We just do the best we can.

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

gidgetgh — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:21:58 GMT

@blackhole99 wrote:
Aging in general isn't for sissies, let alone when medical issues come with it.. I don't know how old your husband is, my husband is 77 and his health is good, yet when I look at him I can see the slow steady decline. I don't know how well I will handle anything serious or debilitating with my husband in the future, I know it will come. I know my faith will comfort me, but we still have to do the work, don't we. Good luck.

@blackhole99 - my husband is 76, will be 77 in March. I'm 64.

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gidgetgh — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:23:22 GMT

@tends2dogs wrote:
What a beautiful testimony of your unwavering love for your husband. It speaks volumes about you. Your husband is a lucky man.

Remember to take care of yourself, too.

Easier said than done though. Thank you for the comments.

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alicedee — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:24:01 GMT

I don't know what to say to you @gidgetgh .....it's such a hard and sad situation. Sending you both good thoughts and prayers, for sure. Bless you both. 🌷

Re: Ch ch ch ch changes....

gidgetgh — Mon, 20 Jan 2020 00:24:18 GMT

@Catiele wrote:
Prayers to you both. Sometimes life gives us more than we think we can handle. We just do the best we can.

@Catiele - yep. I do the very best I can every single day.