topic Re: Problem neighbors ? in Community Chat

Problem neighbors ?

lovesrecess — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 21:56:49 GMT

We have a family that just moved in on the street behind ours....have not met them since they both work and their driveway faces away from ours....but have waved at them twice and they just stared and didn’t wave back....walked off....anyway, their house sits on a small hill so it is higher than ours....they have installed a blinding, outside light that shines directly into our den through the door when it comes on. It isn’t on a timer and is on all night. Our only option is to get blackout curtains to cover our door...which we should not have to do....and forget about spending time on our patio in the evenings. We have twice been to their front door and knocked. We went together so we wouldn’t look scary....and I even took a loaf of banana bread which they could see on the camera. They do have Ring. No response and I know they are home.

Any suggestions?

Re: Problem neighbors ?

roxxy1 — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:01:12 GMT

You might want to call town hall and speak to someone in code enforcement to see if they have any rules regarding light brightness shining into neighbor's yards.

And that was very thoughtful of you to bring a banana bread over.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

kitcat51 — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:06:21 GMT

My former neighbors must have moved behind you & all I can say is good luck...you're going to need it.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

on the bay — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:07:02 GMT

Thats kind of creepy. I don't know what I'd do.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

haddon9 — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:10:56 GMT

I would be tempted to get a floodlight of my own and point it towards their house......sorry it sounds awful!

Why not try leaving a nice note in their mailbox about the bright light before taking any other action? Then if that doesn't work I would look into any laws about this.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

reiki604 — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:11:41 GMT

You can send them a certified letter expressing your concern. You also need to find out if they are breaking any local ordinances. It may be annoying, but if no laws are broken, there's not much you can do except to ask them to change the direction of the direct light.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

KingstonsMom — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:13:00 GMT

They've made it painfully clear that they aren't interested in being friendly or hearing what you have to say.

Some people are just like that and I guess that's their right.

I'm afraid the problem of the light shining into your house is yours to deal with, as they have the right to have the light on their property for security or whatever, unless they were deliberately shining it into your house maliciously.

And that's not likely, since they don't even know you.

Blackout curtains may be the way to go and on the patio, maybe you can turn your chairs away from the light.

I understand your frustration, we have a great relationship with most of our neighbors, except for one.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

Alison Wonderland — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:14:47 GMT

Some people are introverts and prefer not to communicate in person. And just because someone is home doesn't mean they aren't busy, sleeping, showering, undressed, etc. They may have been trying to snub you, so I wouldn't assume that - at least not yet.

I would recommend a holiday card in the mailbox with a request to recalibrate the light so it's not aimed directly at your home. Also, let them know you dropped by with a baked treat. but they did not answer. That lets them know you used the card as a last resort in case they would like to talk to you. You can include your email or a number where they can text you if they want. (They'll know they can also call if they prefer.)

If that doesn't work, you can start looking into neighborhood codes, but I wouldn't escalate or get passive-aggressive until you've tried contacting them in writing.

Talking about a building codes before they've even refused to do something is jumping the gun and could start a war you don't need to start.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

Havarti — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:31:32 GMT

Write them a nice note asking for their help and assuming they have no idea that the light that likely gives them a sense of security in new unknown (strange to them) neighborhood. Acknowledge their need/desire to secure their property and let them know nicely about how the differences in level of your two homes makes the light hit your house directly into rooms and through the curtains at night. Maybe you can agree on certain timing, a different location for the light or having it be motion-activated rather than a steady bright light all night, etc. I would not start off with how it infringes on your rights - that just starts with lines being drawn over whose rights are more important. Approach from the angle they likely are unaware of the effects of the light and how can you work together to meet the need of both homes. Then, bake more bread and go over as a couple when you think they are home. Ring the bell and if they do not answer (I never answer my door unless I invited someone) - just leave the bread & note by the door where they can see it on Ring. Don't leave a plate you expect to get back, or you might be disappointed. Be sure you include your phone number and invite them to call & discuss how you can work together to meet the needs of each household.

It may not work, but it is another step that shows you are a nice neighbor and are trying to both welcome them to the neighborhood and problem-solve together. Keep a copy of your note for future documentation that you tried working with them in case you have to turn to the city for assistance. Hopefully you won't need it and you can work it out satisfactorily for both parties and you wind up being good neighbors for years to come. Good luck! I have have problem neighbors before (including one that left a flood light on all night) and it is no fun!

Sorry, @Alison Wonderland I must have been writing this as you posted. Great minds think alike! I totally agree with you...as you can see.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

KingstonsMom — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:39:48 GMT

@haddon9 wrote:
I would be tempted to get a floodlight of my own and point it towards their house......sorry it sounds awful!

Why not try leaving a nice note in their mailbox about the bright light before taking any other action? Then if that doesn't work I would look into any laws about this.

They can't put a note IN their mailbox, that's against federal law.

I would tape a discreet note to their front door, by the Ring doorbell or mail them a letter.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

Drythe — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:39:57 GMT

Back when we had neighbors, they put a huge security light up on a tall poll very close to us. Not only did it shine into our bedroom, it also lit our up yard like daylight, it was on a timer - dusk to dawn.

Turns out it was against the city ordinances. They had to reduce the wattage and lower the poll, the city had them screen & paint around the side of the fixture on our side. Not perfect, but better.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

lovesrecess — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:41:10 GMT

It always seems to be just one that ruins the friendly neighbor atmosphere! We have had many new neighbors move in since last spring...our housing market is hot right now...and every one of them seem very nice.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

Anonymous032819 — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:43:07 GMT

This reminds me of an old episode of "Roseanne".

An elderly couple moves in next door, and they happen to be nudists.

Dan and Roseanne can see them in all of their glory from their bedroom window.

In order to bring it to the couple's attention, they invite the couple over to discuss the situation.

Everything starts off well enough, and dan and Roseanne gives the couple a tour of the house, which includes their bedroom, where they point out that their bedroom window looks directly in to the neighbor's window, and that they can see everything.

The elderly husband says, "Well, just don't look."

Roseanne says that it isn't that easy not to look.

Elderly husband says that he thinks that he would be able to manage to not look if he saw something that he didn't want to see.

Roseanne said, "Oh, really?"

She then stands in front of her elderly neighbors, rips open her shirt, and says, "What color are my eyes?!"

The elderly neighbors get up and storm out with the husband saying, "We're going to plant that hedge!"

The point of this is, maybe invite the couple over for a get-to-know-you dinner or coffee, and give them a tour, and durring the tour, show them where their light shines in to your house, and see if there could be a compromise to fixing the situation.

Just a thought.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

reiki604 — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:43:36 GMT

@lovesrecess wrote:
It always seems to be just one that ruins the friendly neighbor atmosphere! We have had many new neighbors move in since last spring...our housing market is hot right now...and every one of them seem very nice.

These people are probably very nice as well. If you prejudge them, the chance of coming to an amenable agreement is less likely.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

lovesrecess — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:44:56 GMT

Thanks for the great suggestions. I can’t leave any food on their porch...it will be destroyed by the gang of squirrels that have radar if even one peanut shows up on the ground. I will put a holiday card on their porch by the door and see if I get a response.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

ann1989 — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:49:53 GMT

@lovesrecessdo you have an ombudsman or a sympathetic police officer you can speak to explaining that the light is like a Gulag spotlight and if they went to your property when it was on, they would understand and maybe could speak for you.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

lovesrecess — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:52:48 GMT

I hate to have the police show up at their door when I haven’t told them about the problem, but we do have a police officer who makes rounds in our area each night. I have checked and they aren’t breaking any laws....that’s why I was hoping to speak to them as a friendly neighbor....

Re: Problem neighbors ?

May5 — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:55:31 GMT

I wonder who they are hiding from.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

May5 — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 22:59:25 GMT

She said they won't open their door.

Re: Problem neighbors ?

Anonymous032819 — Wed, 18 Dec 2019 23:04:02 GMT

@May5 wrote:
I wonder who they are hiding from.

They don't have to be hiding from anyone.

Not everybody throws the door open wide when they see a stranger on the other side.

Believe it or not, some people are just more private than others.

It doesn't mean that they are hiding from anyone.