topic Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT? in Community Chat

FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

Lindsays Grandma — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 08:10:03 GMT

The following excuses not to go to work should do the trick.

1. An employee called in sick because he ate cat food instead of tuna and was deathly ill.

2. An employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine in the drug store and couldn't get out in time to go to work.

3. An employee's wife found out her husband was cheating, and had to spend the day retrieving his belongings from the dumpster.

4. The employee said that he couldn't come to work because his fortune teller had asked him not to step out of the house or he would suffer a brain hemorrhage.

5. An employee was reaching for a falling sandwich and broke his arm.

6. An employee couldn't come to work because she accidentally got on a plane.

7. Am employee had a "lucky night" and didn't know where he was in the morning.

8. An employee had to attend the funeral of his wife's cousin's pet, because he was an uncle and a pallbearer.

9. An employee said that someone glued her doors and windows shut so she couldn't leave the house to come to work.

10. An employee's false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

Ruby Laine — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 14:03:56 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma, I don't think I ever heard any excuses as good as these, but I taught nursing students for many years. One student had 3 aunts die in 2 months. I told him the next time he would have to bring in the obituary. No more family deaths!

Another student had to miss because she had a court date. She said she got in a fight with another girl and did "$800 worth of damage to her face. But she deserved it!"

That one turned out to be true...

I hope you are doing well, @Lindsays Grandma.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

Meowingkitty — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 14:13:12 GMT

I used to work with a guy that over the course of a few years had over 100 different excuses as to why he couldn't come to work. We keep a running list and stopped at over 100 when he finally got laid off. He had to watch paint dry, screen door fell off, kid lost his retainer, wife wanted him home NOW! He had relatives coming over and had to was the car. It was something new every week.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

dex — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 14:29:07 GMT

I worked with a woman who had so many excuses about why she couldn’t work but my two favs were...she had not been able to poop and the second fav...she drove to work and couldn’t remember how she got there so she went home.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

Eileen in Virginia — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 14:57:58 GMT

In line with #1, I once had an employee who walked home for lunch everyday. One day he was heating a can of soup and a roach trap fell into the pot. He fished it out AND ATE THE SOUP. After he returned to work, he started feeling funny and told me what happened. His face was as red as a beet, so I sent him to the Health Unit and didn't see him for the rest of the day. As my eighth grade nun used to say, "There are some awfully dumb smart people."

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

chrystaltree — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 17:27:04 GMT

OK, that must be from ages ago. People don't go into detail like that in the workplace anymore. Supervisors and managers don't care why people are out, we only want to know THAT they are out so we can make sure the work is covered. Once a woman who worked for got upset and offended when I said she didn't have to go into detail about why she wasn't coming in. She was taking a sick day so it didn't matter to me if she was on her death bed or had a hang nail. Either way, I was putting her down for a sick day and assigning someone to cover for her.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

dex — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 18:13:59 GMT

@chrystaltree @If people are out often don’t you inquire why?They could be really sick or just sick of working.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

Porcelain — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 18:22:39 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
OK, that must be from ages ago. People don't go into detail like that in the workplace anymore. Supervisors and managers don't care why people are out, we only want to know THAT they are out so we can make sure the work is covered. Once a woman who worked for got upset and offended when I said she didn't have to go into detail about why she wasn't coming in. She was taking a sick day so it didn't matter to me if she was on her death bed or had a hang nail. Either way, I was putting her down for a sick day and assigning someone to cover for her.

I'm sure you didn't mean to say here that it didn't matter to you if she was on her death bed. It kind of sounded like that, but I assume it was only about marking her as sick or not, not that you didn't care if she died...All the best managers I've encountered always put people first and showed they cared about employees beyond just how much work they could get out of them.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

qvcfreak — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 18:27:20 GMT

@dex I work for the State and we cannot ask any questions when it pertains to sick leave. We can, however, ask for a Dr.’s excuse when the person is constantly out.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

BlueFinch — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 18:44:02 GMT

Love @Lindsays Grandma's posts. I had a tech with a regrowing appendix. Must've been, since he had it taken out twice in two years. I had to laugh stating, 'c'mon people keep notes' .

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

Desertdi — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 18:44:32 GMT

Before I installed a fence around my property, a "little neighborhood delinquent" super-glued my front door lock.......and I had to call a locksmith to remove the door lock and soak it in solvent............ (But it was on my day off.)

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

VegasBusinessWoman — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 19:04:19 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma Those are a hoot! Glad my employees didn't try those (except maybe the one about the teeth flying out the window). Mind if I add some Funnies?

Hope these are good for a few smiles, everyone (and especially @Lindsays Grandma )

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

Lindsays Grandma — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 21:27:29 GMT

@Ruby Laine Glad you enjoyed the excuses and yes, I am doing better. Decided to bring some laughter into my life, it helps a lot, thank you for asking.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

Lindsays Grandma — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 21:37:32 GMT

@dex wrote:
I worked with a woman who had so many excuses about why she couldn’t work but my two favs were...she had not been able to poop and the second fav...she drove to work and couldn’t remember how she got there so she went home.

@dex ...Oh my gosh, I can't believe it, a woman actually said that? Wow, and I thought these were jokes, but it actually happens, live and learn.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

dex — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 22:23:47 GMT

@Lindsays Grandma I know funny thing was that was back in the days when only men pooped!

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

wildcat fan — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 22:44:40 GMT

@VegasBusinessWoman Thanks for sharing those. Too funny. The Christmas wrapping tube reminds me of my kitty who has been chasing around a paper towel tube today. Who'd have known those could be so much fun?

Thanks for the funnies @Lindsays Grandma Your #2 reminded me of an experience at Walmart when I actually did get stuck in one of those blood pressure machines! LOL I had to text my husband to come get me. He will never let me live that one down. Never again.

Re: FEELING DOWN - NEED A LIFT?

VegasBusinessWoman — Sun, 15 Dec 2019 04:47:27 GMT

@wildcat fan While wrapping presents this afternoon, I couldn't resist the urge to go bonk DH over the head with an empty wrapping paper roll. He looked so shocked that it was worth doing (everytime I think about it I start laughing again🤣!) Now, if I could just keep the dogs from dragging pieces of wrapping paper into the hall and shredding them . . . 🐶)